Norms and rules of decency for men and women are the basis of small talk and behavior in society. Table etiquette rules: learning about cutlery What does etiquette do?

It wouldn't hurt for each of us to brush up on the rules of table etiquette, and perhaps even learn something new about how to behave while eating. The most important rules of etiquette that absolutely everyone should use.

Each of us notices when in a cafe at the next table someone eats sloppily or secretly wipes their hands on their knees. In the same way, other people notice our mistakes; any behavior is striking and can cause embarrassment. Therefore, it is better to check yourself and correct your own behavior if necessary.

How to behave at the table

General rules apply to any situation; they will never be superfluous. The first thing we pay attention to when we see a person is his posture. Posture characterizes not only a person’s behavior or state, but also reveals the secrets of his character.

An insecure person will fidget nervously on the edge of his chair, a complex person will try to slouch in order to become less noticeable. Sit upright, but so that you are comfortable. Your hands can be placed on the edge of the table or on your knees, and it is better to press your elbows to your sides.

By the way, in order to learn how to hold your elbows near your body, in Soviet times it was advised to periodically train - have lunch, holding a couple of weighty books with your elbows. This is necessary so that the correct bodily pattern is formed, and you hold your elbows flawlessly even when you don’t think about it at all.

The rules of table etiquette cover almost all situations that can happen to a person and give a clear recommendation on what to do in a given situation.

Naturally, table etiquette at home and restaurant etiquette are somewhat different. However, there are rules that are appropriate in any situation:

Don't talk too loudly;
Do not move the fork or spoon with food too far from your mouth;
You should not make sounds while eating;
You should eat calmly, without unnecessary haste.

Restaurant

The rules of conduct in a restaurant imply some composure - you need to behave correctly and with dignity in order to make a pleasant impression on others.

The man must let the lady go first, but if a group of men or women goes to the restaurant, then everyone is on equal terms or relies on the initiator of the dinner.
If several people are to meet at dinner, and some of them are late, then by mutual agreement with the rest of the guests, you can wait about a quarter of an hour for the latecomers. A longer wait is a sign of disrespect for guests who arrived on time.
If you happen to be late, you should apologize and then simply join the others. You should not draw special attention to the fact of being late and explain the reason, just join in the table conversation.
When a man and a woman meet in a restaurant, the man must read the menu and offer his companion some dishes. For a girl in this case to express her indifference is a sign of bad manners. Etiquette in a restaurant implies the participation of the lady in choosing dishes.
In a restaurant, you should not have a conversation in a raised voice or laugh loudly. If this happened by accident, it makes sense to apologize to other visitors and be quieter. Observe table etiquette, and if someone behaves inappropriately at the next table, you should inform the waiter about it.
You need to start eating when the waiter has brought out the ordered dishes to everyone present. If the person who is waiting for his dish to be prepared does not mind, he can make an invitation to others to start eating.
It is strictly forbidden to perform hygiene procedures at the table - wiping your face, neck and hands with napkins, combing your hair or applying lipstick. If you need to pay attention to your appearance, it is better to do this in a special room. Table etiquette also does not welcome traces of lipstick on dishes. Before starting to eat, the girl must carefully remove the lipstick with a napkin.
Any interaction with food also looks uncivilized - food is on the table to be eaten. Taking photos for Instagram, blowing on the soup, meticulously picking at the salad, commenting on the ingredients is indecent.
If you come across a cartilage or bone in some dish, you need to carefully return the inedible element back to the spoon and move it to a plate (or napkin).

How to handle devices

Under no circumstances should you check the cleanliness of the cutlery, and if you do notice a cloudy spot on a fork or spoon, you need to quietly draw the waiter’s attention to this oversight and politely ask for a replacement.
In most restaurants, the table is set in advance, and the cutlery is laid out on both sides of the serving plate.
Don’t be confused if there are more dishes on the table than you expected to see - everything has its purpose, and if you are in doubt about which fork or spoon you should take, you can always see how the other guests solve this problem.
Those utensils that lie to the left of the plate are used with the left hand, and those that are laid out to the right must be held in the right hand.
When serving complex dishes, each dish requires its own utensils, so if you are in doubt about which fork to take, take the farthest one - the one that is furthest from the edge of the plate. As you change dishes, you will gradually move closer to the closest appliances.
The knife is used either for cutting food or for spreading pates and butter (for example, during breakfasts). You should not try pieces from a knife.
Meat or fish should be cut sequentially as it is eaten. Cutting the entire portion at once is bad form. It is generally accepted that this way the dish cools faster and loses its main flavor nuances.

Learn in advance a few differences between different cutlery so as not to get into trouble.

Forks

Second hot dishes are eaten with a table fork; it has four teeth, and its length is slightly less than the diameter of the plate and is placed on the left;
a fish fork is used for hot fish dishes, it looks smaller than a diner and has four short teeth, a fish fork is easy to recognize by its indentations - they are needed to separate the bones;
snack fork - a smaller duplicate of a table fork, used to eat cold appetizers;
dessert fork - for pies, small, matches the size of the dessert plate and looks atypical;
a fruit fork equipped with two prongs, usually served with a fruit knife;
the remaining forks are considered auxiliary, they are placed next to the dish that needs to be eaten with them.

Knives

Any second hot dish is eaten with a table knife, it is placed to the right of the plate, the blade is turned towards the plate;
a fish knife is dull and resembles a spatula, used to separate the flesh of fish from the bones;
the snack knife is small and has serrations;
the dessert and fruit knife look similar - they are the smallest.

Spoons

a tablespoon is the largest, lying to the right of the plate;
a dessert spoon is served with desserts that do not require cutting - soft puddings, jellies and whipped cream;
an ice cream spoon is served with a bowl;
the cocktail spoon has a very narrow and long handle;
a teaspoon can be served with any hot drink;
coffee spoon is the smallest, served only with black coffee.

Dialogues and behavior at the table

Table etiquette involves not only the use of cutlery, correct positioning and good posture, but also the manner of conducting dialogues and conversations.

It is worth noting that table etiquette strictly prohibits discussing provocative issues that could lead to a serious conflict - therefore, you should refrain from comments about money, politics and religion.

How to behave at the table and what to say? Be sure to look at the person who is speaking to you, listen without interrupting, and only then respond. If you consider some of your interlocutor’s questions inappropriate for a meal, gently suggest discussing this a little later. In all other cases, you should answer easily and naturally.

Restaurant etiquette rules also do not imply heated arguments - refrain from inappropriate comments and lighten the mood with a sweet joke if someone else raises their voice.

You shouldn’t talk just the two of you; involve the rest of the meal participants in the conversation.. For example, if the conversation is about a recent vacation, you can ask one of the interlocutors whether he is going to go on vacation in the near future or what vacation spots he prefers.

It is also good form in any table conversation to praise the host, cook or initiator of the meeting - find a few kind words to note the general atmosphere of the evening.

A short course in etiquette

Do as the majority does.
Don't point out others' mistakes, as a last resort, you can say this quietly in an undertone and only to your neighbor at the table.
Don't be away from your meal for too long.
When leaving the table, apologize.
Try everything and eat what you like.
Diets, eating disorders, restrictions on alcoholic beverages and diet are not discussed at a common table.

It is better to study some rules of behavior at the table by looking at pictures - look at the basic table setting diagrams, you can also watch a video on how to properly hold this or that device.

Table etiquette is not that difficult if you devote a little time to it, and following all the rules will help you present your best side.

Instructions

Whether you are at a meeting, having dinner with friends, or visiting, your smartphone should remain in your pocket or purse. If you put it on the table, you thereby demonstrate your readiness to be distracted at any time by a call, notification of new messages, updating your friends’ feed, and so on. And this is a demonstration of disdain for the interlocutor.

During business negotiations, the ideal distance between interlocutors is considered to be one meter. And the distance recommended by etiquette between the boss and subordinates during meetings is about one and a half meters.

While indoors, a woman may not take off her hat or scarf, as well as gloves. However, this rule does not apply to hats and mittens. The hat can be left on your head only if your visit does not last more than ten minutes.

The bag does not belong on a chair or on your lap. A miniature elegant clutch can be placed on the table; larger bags are hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor. According to etiquette, briefcases are placed on the floor.

In small talk, you should avoid topics that are considered taboo by etiquette and can put the interlocutor in an awkward position. These are issues of religion, politics, as well as health and finances.

You can arrange a meeting with friends via SMS messages, WhatsApp or social networks. But according to the rules of etiquette, you shouldn’t invite a girl on a romantic date in this way - you must either do it in person or call.

If in a cinema hall, theater, concert hall or sports arena your seats are in the middle of a row, and some of the seats are already occupied, you need to go to them, turning to face those sitting. In this case, the man goes first in the row, and the woman follows him.

Regardless of a woman’s age or social status, a man needs to help her carry bulky bags or other large items. However, a man can carry a handbag only in one case: if his companion is unable to do so due to health conditions.

It is customary to address all people over 12 years of age as “you”; an exception is made only for relatives, friends and other people with whom you have a “special” relationship. “Poking” subordinates, waiters or people who are simply a little younger is bad form.

From the moment children stop sleeping with their parents and move to a separate room, the nursery becomes their personal space. And, if the door to the room is closed, parents must knock before entering. By the way, if this rule is strictly observed, it is much easier to teach children that it is also impossible to break into their parents’ bedroom without knocking.

Telling others that you are on a diet (especially during meals or dinners) is a gross violation of the rules of etiquette. You should not do this during feasts at a party. Even if there is nothing on the table that is allowed by the diet, just put something on the plate and be sure to praise the hostess. It is not necessary to eat.

You can dry your umbrella open only at home. In the office, umbrellas are stored folded - on a hanger or on an umbrella stand. When visiting, you can only open an umbrella to dry it out if the owners of the house themselves have suggested that you do so.

Once you have mastered the rules of table etiquette and learned how to hold cutlery, it will be easy for you to focus on the content of the event and feel more confident. And this is very important if the future, for example, an important contract, depends on the evening.

If you are having dinner at home rather than in a restaurant, then first you need to set the table correctly.

Arrive on time

This applies to home treatments. If a guest is late for any reason, the hosts must be informed in a timely manner. But you shouldn't show up too early, because this can lead to fuss or embarrassment for the hosts.

Seating

At home

The place on the short side of the table should be occupied by the owner of the house or the person who is organizing the meeting. The hostess sits at the other end. If the table is round, she sits down so that it is convenient to look after the guests. The places of honor are next to the owners. When the table is rectangular, the most important people should sit in the middle of the long side.

Usually ladies are invited to sit to the right of the host, gentlemen to the left of the hostess. The rest need to be seated so that the companions are pleasant to each other. For children or the younger and older generations, you can make two different tables. The owners in any case sit with the older company.

public place

The previous table etiquette rules apply if the party is private. In a restaurant, the best place from which you can see everything that is happening in the room and which is not in the aisle; men are inferior to girls.

Going to a restaurant

Entrance

Punctuality is a virtue, but when someone is late, there are two options:

The early arrival waits in front of the entrance or, if it takes longer, in the lobby or at the bar.
In the second option, you can afford a small aperitif.

But if the first person is already reading the menu, it gives the laggards an unpleasant impression, although he may have arrived too early, and the latecomers actually arrived on time.

It used to be that a man would enter a restaurant first to open a lady's door, help his date take off his coat, and lead her to the table. Today, it is not so important whether women are given favors. There are also special maintenance personnel for this purpose, so this is usually not an issue. But such gestures are still pleasing to women, and a man will demonstrate elements of the behavior of a real gentleman.

Chair

The staff at a good multi-star restaurant will immediately pull out a chair for a lady. But if there are several girls at the table, then you can help with a chair for your partner. For less formal occasions, you can join as soon as the host is seated at the table.

In the past, leaning on the back of a chair was considered rude. But now you can signal to your partner that you are ready to move on to an important conversation.

Table manners

Try to hide your excitement and not show that you do not know the rules of behavior at the dinner table. If you don't know how to use certain devices, then just look at what others are doing.

At the table you need not only to eat, but also to entertain guests. But it should be in reasonable quantities - taboos on topics of illness, death, sex, religion and politics.

If you're not hungry, try a little of everything so you don't offend the person who prepared the dishes.

Telephone and constant telephone conversations are elements of rude behavior towards guests. If a call is urgent or expected, the phone should remain connected in your pocket, otherwise you need to turn off the sound or set it to vibrate.

You cannot smoke in front of guests, even if you have already eaten and it does not bother anyone. Many restaurants have designated smoking areas where it will not disturb other customers.

Wine

After the host or waiter has poured everyone a glass, you should not drink it immediately. Do not make a toast if you are a guest, on your own initiative. You need to wait for the first sip or toast of the host of the evening.

The rule for children, although some adults do not know this, is that any drinks should be drunk quietly, without gurgling or squelching. And also, before taking a sip, wipe your lips and hands, otherwise there will be untidy, greasy stains on the glass.

How to start eating

When the food begins to serve, remove the napkin from the plate and place it on your lap. After wiping your mouth or hands, do not crush it, but leave it on an empty container. If you need to leave your seat for a short time, place it next to your plate. For children under 5 years old, there is a rule - a napkin must be tucked into the collar to protect clothes.

When the food is served, wait until everyone has been served. An exception may be made when serving food takes some time - then you can ask other guests for permission to start. It is necessary to apologize and say that otherwise the food will get cold.

Cutlery should be in your hand - both while eating and when talking with neighbors. During a long conversation, you can fold them on a plate in the shape of a triangle - just like in the diagram. If you have finished your meal, place them parallel to each other, but their position on the plate has its own meaning - be careful.

For children, do not forget to explain that licking a knife or other sharp utensils is prohibited.

Allergy to food

Those who are allergic to certain foods should not make a fuss. To avoid noise, the dish you can't stand is left just sitting on the plate.

Meat, fish and spaghetti

Meat and poultry are taken from a common dish with a fork, and cut into small pieces on your own plate. Do not cut everything at once, otherwise the food will cool faster.

Fish bones should be left on the edge of the dish. Table manners do not allow leftover food to be scattered on the plate.
The bones that are in the mouth must be carefully placed on a fork and brought to the plate. If they are too small, it is acceptable to gently remove them with your thumb and forefinger.

Long pasta, such as spaghetti or tagliatelle, needs to be wrapped around a fork. You can use a spoon to help.

What should you teach your child?

For children, this must be explained first:

You can't put your elbows on the table. Press them to the sides.
Do not chew with your mouth open or slurp.
It is unacceptable to talk to your interlocutor unless you have chewed something.

Children should gradually be taught that behavior at the table is something important. But they cannot follow all adult rules. For example, a glass may be too large for a small hand, and then a child is allowed to hold it with two hands, while an adult should not do this. Also, very young children should not be given sharp instruments.

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Tell them that reaching across the entire table is indecent, and you need to ask your neighbor to pass the desired dish, and then thank you. It is almost impossible for younger children to pour something for themselves, so they may ask an adult to help them.
Please note that you don’t need to notify everyone if you want to go to the toilet - you just need to excuse yourself and leave.

Monitor your children’s posture - immediately teach them to sit on a chair correctly, occupying the entire chair, and not just the edge of the seat. Don't let them swing.

As for a child in a restaurant, everyone chooses for themselves what to do. Many people take their children with them wherever they go. But do not forget that capricious children can ruin the rest of other visitors. If you nevertheless took him with you, but the child began to cry loudly, go somewhere from the common room and calm him down there.

Payment

The evening is over. All that remains is to pay for delicious food and drinks. If it has already been announced that you need several checks, this is not a problem, but it may cause unpleasant feelings for your companions.

It will be great when someone alone pays for everyone, and then the amount is simply divided by the number of people, even if some ate for a larger bill.

It is better to give a credit card - this is the most discreet way to pay the bill. No one looks at the amount on the check, especially if you were invited to dinner. A tip of 5 to 10% of the order is optional, but it shows how satisfied you are with the food and service.

If you weren’t happy with something during the evening, don’t complain and ask for a price reduction. Always speak up straight away when something is wrong with a food or drink.

Etiquette is changing, as society itself is changing. In the mid-50s, it was considered normal to talk about illnesses and complain about spouses at the holiday table, but now such conversations are considered bad manners. And the gender distinction of modern etiquette is being erased. Thanks to feminism, by the way. For example, previously men were required to give up their seats on public transport to all women. According to the new rules of etiquette, seats can be given to pregnant, elderly and sick people. And in Europe they generally give up their place only when the person standing asks for it. And any initiative can be perceived as an insult. They gave in - do I look that bad?

Also, according to the old rules, a man was obliged to open doors for a woman and let her go forward. Now the door is opened by the one who goes ahead or who is stronger if the door is heavy. No matter what gender you are, please hold doors for people with limited mobility, and if this service was provided to you, be sure to thank them.

Let's go over the basic rules of etiquette that we encounter every day.

Cinema, concert, theater

It is not recommended to be late. But you can leave early, and it is advisable to do this during intermission. You should dress at your own discretion, but if we are talking about the theater - a little more elegantly than usual. If only one person bought tickets for the company, be sure to return the money to him. If you bought the tickets, don’t hesitate to ask: “Who hasn’t paid for the tickets yet?”

Going to visit

Etiquette does not advise being late and bringing someone without the consent of the owner/hostess of the house. You should not smoke without asking permission. You should treat furniture and other property with respect (for example, do not place a wet glass or hot cup on a wooden surface if you are used to doing this at home).

Restaurant/cafe

There is no need to force someone who doesn't want to drink. If they ask you, be adamant. You are not obligated to explain anything; in extreme cases, say that you are “driving” or “the doctor forbids it.”

It is considered bad manners to pester staff, even without bad intentions. A restaurant employee, in response to your flirting, useless questions and aggression, will not be able to give you a proper answer, otherwise he will be fired, and therefore will smile a forced smile and experience psychological stress.

If you were miscalculated, don't make a fuss. Especially if you want to please your business partner or girlfriend. Call the waiter and calmly hint to make the bill more precisely. You can even indicate what you need to pay attention to.

How to distribute expenses in a large company? If all the guests are approximately equally financially secure, eat approximately equally, or the company regularly organizes joint dinners, it would be quite acceptable and correct to divide all expenses equally. If your company is diverse financially and tastefully, it is worth agreeing on separate accounts in advance. You can choose a person in charge who, after studying the account, will roughly estimate everyone’s expenses and collect money from everyone. Or the second option - he will pay for everyone and collect money from the guests outside the cafe/restaurant.

Other events

Once you receive an invitation, study it carefully. Please pay attention to the dress code and how you will be notified of your participation. Be sure to check whether you are invited alone or with your spouse. Some people mistakenly believe that if one person is named on the invitation, the spouse is automatically invited. This is fundamentally wrong. Problems may arise if you sit at a table with seating; additional tables and chairs are not provided at such events.

When you come to an event, you should present an invitation and find the hosts to exchange a few phrases. There is no point in delaying the receiving party for a long time. Next, you need to find your place at the table.

Don't be confused by the large number of glasses - the service staff knows the order of their use and knows what drinks to pour into them. But it’s worth paying attention to the cutlery. If you see several spoons and forks and are afraid of getting confused, follow a simple rule - use the utensils one by one for each dish served, starting from the outside.

Small talk

You don't have to be a great speaker, but you do need to be able to have a pleasant conversation. In a conversation, you should not “yak” or brag about yourself, your achievements, or your circle of acquaintances. Also, you should not belittle your own merits, self-flagellate, complain about colleagues, relatives, or health.

Etiquette (and, accordingly, the psychology of business communication) advises avoiding conversations that are unpleasant and incomprehensible to the interlocutor. To win over, choose topics that are interesting to others. You can find many such topics, and it is better to talk about those that you understand.

It would be a mistake to discuss the appearance and manners of other guests, even with interlocutors whom you know well. Remember how projection works? What you say is automatically projected onto you.

You should not speak to someone in a language that is incomprehensible to others, have meaningless conversations about dreams, premonitions, or indulge in lengthy memories that are interesting only to you.

It is considered bad form to torture interlocutors about their earnings, marital status, as well as questions like: “Why are you not married?”, “Why are you not married?”, “When will you have a child?”

Jokes about someone else's last name, nationality, hair color, hairstyle, build, education and work experience are also unacceptable. As we all know, jokes of this kind are perceived by others as hidden aggression.

You should end the conversation decisively and as politely as possible: “I was pleased to meet you”, “It was very pleasant to chat/talk with you”, “We will definitely have to discuss this over a cup of coffee sometime”, “We will definitely have to meet again” . If you need to move on to someone else, you can say something like this: “Excuse me, I need to talk to that person over there. We will definitely return to our conversation/discuss this a little later.”

Manners of behavior in society indicate a person’s upbringing and knowledge of the basic rules of etiquette. First of all, this applies to visits to cafes and restaurants, where it is necessary to behave properly at the table. Table etiquette is not only about how to hold cutlery, eat or drink, it is also important to be able to competently carry on a conversation and be neat in everything.

Peculiarities

Table etiquette represents certain knowledge that shapes the behavior of people in society. Any mistake made at the table will be immediately noticed and will create an unpleasant impression about the person, so before visiting guests, a cafe or restaurant, you need to check your manners, and if there are “gaps” in them, correct everything immediately. This will help you avoid embarrassing situations in the future and give you self-confidence.

Table etiquette consists of a few simple rules.

You should not sit far from the table or press too tightly against its edge. Only brushes can be placed on the table.
The seat should be level; bending over food is unsightly.
It is considered bad form to reach for food. If the plates are placed far away, then you need to ask other participants in the meal to pass them on.
You should use napkins while eating. To do this, adults place them on their laps, and small children tuck napkins into their collars.
All dishes should be plated using cutlery. The exception to this rule is fruit, sugar, cookies or cakes.
It is important to remember that devices that lie on the left are intended to be held with the left hand, and those lying on the right are intended for the right hand.

Besides, You can't talk loudly at the table. When maintaining a conversation, first of all you need to listen to the interlocutor without interrupting him, and only then give an answer. Following these recommendations is not particularly difficult, so they should always be followed.

You should also teach your children this manner of behavior, and it is advisable to do this from a very early age.

Introduction to serving

Table setting is the main component of any meal. If a gala dinner takes place at home, then the impression of the owners of the house will depend on its design. Many people compare table setting to a real work of art, since it is important not only to arrange cutlery correctly and know their purpose, but also to create a festive atmosphere with the help of colors and decor of napkins.

To set the table beautifully, first of all you need to lay the tablecloth, then you can arrange the plates, glasses, glasses, wine glasses, cutlery and napkins. Their location is established by the rules of etiquette and cannot be changed at our own discretion.

The tablecloth serves as the basis for table decoration, so its choice should be taken responsibly. It is recommended to use white or light-colored canvases.

According to the rules for serving, the corners of the tablecloth should cover the legs of the furniture, but not be too long, leaving a distance to the floor of 25-30 cm. The canvas is spread with free movements, and it is important to pay attention to ensure that no air forms between the table and the fabric. You cannot pull the corners of the tablecloth, otherwise the canvas will lose its shape and aesthetic appearance.

After the tablecloth has taken the correct position on the table, you can move on to the next stage of serving and start arranging the plates. There are many types of plates, each of which has its own purpose. Most often, main plates are placed on the table, which can be used to serve different types of dishes, as well as additional ones - for salads, bread, pies, oysters, eggs, jam and fruit. The number of plates used depends on whether you are planning a regular dinner or a formal dinner.

Before meals, plates are thoroughly washed and wiped dry, preferably until they shine. Place the plates in front of the seat. It is unsightly when they lie on the edge of the tabletop, so this should be avoided when serving. If the lunch consists of several courses, the dinner plates are placed under the snack bars.

Great attention should also be paid to the placement of cutlery. Forks should be placed on the left and knives on the right of the plate. In this case, there must be a tablespoon next to the knife. For a gala dinner, which includes a rich menu, snack utensils are placed first: a fish knife, a table knife, a soup spoon, a fork. The distance between cutlery should not exceed 1 cm.

After the cutlery, they move on to arranging glasses and wine glasses. They are arranged from largest to smallest, starting with glasses for water, wine, champagne and ending with glasses for juice and glasses for spirits. The finishing touch to the table setting is considered to be napkins, which are a decorative element and lie on the knees.

You cannot wipe your face and hands with cloth napkins; disposable paper napkins are used for these purposes.

How to behave while eating

A gala dinner or lunch begins with sitting down at the table. In this case, guests must occupy the place indicated in the invitation. If this is not the case, you need to wait for the owners of the house and find out where you can stay. After sitting down at the table, a napkin is placed on your lap, which needs to be unfolded and shaken. If the table is set with napkins in rings, they are carefully removed and the ring is placed in the upper corner of the cutlery. At the end of the meal, the cloth napkin is taken by the center and put back on the ring.

You should sit at the table comfortably so that it is convenient to use cutlery. It is strictly forbidden to place your elbows on the table, as this is an example of bad taste. After serving the dishes, you need to wait for all the participants in the meal, and only then can you start eating. Dishes that are located at a distance should be asked to be passed on, rather than reaching across the table for them.

At the same time, according to the rules of etiquette, each guest must make sure that his neighbor has pepper, salt and oil available.

It is also important to take into account some other points.

Food is only passed from left to right, so all dishes can only move in that direction. To do this, one participant in the meal holds the dish, and the second fills the plate, or the neighbor simply passes the dish, and the recipient independently holds the plate and pours food.
Uncomfortably shaped and heavy dishes cannot be kept hanging; they are placed on the table before each transfer to another guest.
It is recommended to pass dishes with handles and tureens so that the handles go to the neighbor who accepts the dish.

In the case when food must be scooped up with a spoon or fork, the spoon is placed to the right of the plate and the fork to the left.

You should eat slowly - this will not only allow you to fully enjoy your food, but also communicate with the owners of the house or guests. When eating, keep your mouth closed, without making slurping sounds or chattering your teeth. If the first courses are too hot, you cannot blow on them - just wait a little until they cool down.

It is worth starting a conversation only when the food has been swallowed. If you need to leave, you should first ask forgiveness from those present, and only then get up from the table.

Which devices to take first?

To behave properly at a restaurant table, it is important to know how to use cutlery. As a rule, all main dishes are located on the left, and drinks on the right. Therefore, everything that lies to the left of the plates can be safely taken. It is necessary to start a meal using utensils that are located closer to the plate, and then use the next ones as new food is served. It is important to remember that the fork is used with a knife and it is always placed on the left. If the fork is on the right, this means that the food will be eaten without a knife.

During a meal, you need to know how to properly place your fork and knife. Typically, two different styles are used for this.

American. Provides for placing a fork in the left hand and a knife in the right. A portion is cut off with a knife, after which it is placed on the upper edge of the plate with the blade inward. It is allowed to eat a dish with a fork, holding it in both the left and right hand. To rest, place the fork on a plate with the teeth facing up towards 5 o'clock.
European. The knife is placed strictly in the right hand, and the fork in the left, while it is impossible to transfer the fork from one hand to the other. While eating, it is important to ensure that the fork is always with the teeth down.

In the event that there is a need to take a short break, the knife and fork are placed on the plate in the “I’m resting” position. To do this, place the fork with the handle at 7 o’clock, and the knife at 5 o’clock.

How to properly bring a spoon to your mouth

All first courses are eaten with a tablespoon, so you need to know the rules of etiquette regarding how to bring this cutlery to your mouth. Usually, when serving, soup bowls are placed on the table along with spoons, or the soup is then served with a spoon. You can bring a spoon with food to your mouth either with the side or with the sharp edge of the device. As for scooping the first dish, this is done in two ways: from yourself or from right to left.

The spoon facing the mouth should not be overfilled. To prevent any remaining soup from dripping from it, it is recommended to lightly touch the edge of the plate with the appliance. If soup is being added, the spoon should remain in the bowl.

Holding the cutlery in your hand is also important. The spoon is placed between the index and thumb, so that the handle rests slightly on the middle finger.

How to hold a wine glass

Table etiquette includes not only beautiful table settings and good communication manners, but also rules that must be followed when eating. An important point is holding glasses and wine glasses in your hand. Most often, wine is served at gala dinners; special “tulip” glasses or stemmed wine glasses are used for this purpose. Glasses with white and red wine should be held only by the stem and under no circumstances should you grasp them with your hand. Champagne is handled in the same way - the vessel filled with it is held with three fingers.

As for glasses for cognac, they can be placed in the palm of your hand - this way the drink will warm up to the desired temperature. You can give cognac an amber hue by gently shaking the glass. The vodka glass is taken with three fingers, the drink is not held in the hand for a long time and is quickly drunk.

How to put the cutlery down when you've finished eating

After eating, when the meal is over, you need to give a sign to the waiter. To do this, place a fork and knife parallel on a plate - so that the tines of the fork point upward and the blade of the knife points to the side. The exact same procedure is followed after finishing dessert.

After eating soup, spoons should not remain in a deep plate; they should be placed near the lower utensils. If you really liked the dish, you can show it to the waiter using “fork and knife gestures”. In this case, the cutlery is placed horizontally in the middle of the plate, the fork is placed with the teeth up, and the knife blade should “look” at it.

At the same time, it is unsightly to throw dirty napkins into a plate, forming piles of garbage from them.

Reminder for every day

The rules of etiquette at the table must be observed not only by adults, but also by children, since incorrect behavior in society will create a negative impression of the entire family. To always be at your best and feel confident when visiting, in a cafe or restaurant, you just need to study simple recommendations and follow them every day. So, etiquette does not tolerate the following shortcomings.