About the dangers of simple human friendship, if it is the friendship of a boss and a subordinate. If a friend suddenly turns out to be... a boss Friend or boss - disadvantages of working under a friend

In many companies, the secretary reports not to one, but to two or even several managers. If the bosses are directly subordinate to each other (for example, the director and his deputy), in this case the secretary understands who is in charge. What if you are the secretary of two “equal” managers, for example, the owners of an enterprise or deputy general directors? How to distribute your working time and labor resources so as not to overload yourself with processing and not find yourself between a rock and a hard place?

Features of working with two bosses

Not long ago, on one of the job search sites, I came across an interesting vacancy for a personal assistant. The employer identified dual subordination as its main feature. And he acted very competently, because not every experienced secretary would agree to such a job. Why?

In a situation where the secretary has two managers, there are a number of features:

Firstly, the principle of unity of command is lost. A person who previously easily prioritized work may become confused and not immediately understand whose instructions to follow first.

Every boss is sure that he is in charge, and his tasks are the most urgent (and generally the only ones). In addition, managers rarely agree with each other on the tasks assigned to you. Therefore, confusion may arise in the work if the secretary is not experienced enough and has not yet learned to highlight the main thing.

Secondly, managers may have different styles management and relationships with subordinates. One of the bosses can be easy to talk to, while the other is boorish and even rude, and you need to find an approach to both.

In addition to the fact that you need to seek an approach to managers due to their psychological characteristics, you will have to adapt to the working rhythm of each boss. We can say that the secretary is very lucky if they coincide. There are managers who like to start their workday an hour earlier than the company, and some stay in the office until midnight. And everyone needs the presence of a secretary at the workplace. Therefore, you will have to take steps to adjust your schedule without compromising your work results and your own health.

And sadly, double workload is not always compensated by double salary.

How to sit on two chairs?

There are many systems for organizing work (for example, dividing tasks into urgent and non-urgent, important and unimportant), perhaps you have already developed yours. With dual subordination, there is no need to change the system; it needs to be adjusted to the situation.

For example, you were given an order. You accept it, but you decide the order of tasks to complete yourself depending on the current situation. Both managers ask to connect, say, with the company’s branches in Magadan and Yekaterinburg. Who to connect first? I would dial Magadan. Why? The time difference is greater - the working day ends earlier there. But if you know that you will get through to Yekaterinburg the first time, and connecting to Magadan will take much longer, call Yekaterinburg. Connect one boss, and then calmly dial the second number.

Never complain about one boss's workload to another. This not only indicates unprofessionalism, but will also lead to the fact that, after listening to complaints, the boss will decide that you are not coping with your responsibilities.

Sometimes managers may give you tasks that contradict each other. How to solve them?

The most important thing is to ask questions openly. You can clarify which of the instructions you should follow with both bosses. In this situation, it is not up to you to decide. Let the bosses agree among themselves, and you start working on a more clearly defined task.

One of the deputy general directors handed over the supply contract to the reception secretary with instructions to send it to the lawyers. The second deputy asked the day before not to send the contract anywhere and flew off on a business trip. The matter was urgent, so the secretary informed the boss that the second deputy asked not to hand over the contract. The leaders called each other and came to an agreement. The contract was sent to the lawyers with some amendments.

Maintain neutrality in communication with all your bosses, do not talk almost in a friendly manner with one boss in front of another - maintain subordination. Then, in a situation where a conflict arises between them, you will not get caught in the middle, you will be able to protect yourself from tense relations with one of the bosses, and you will not worry about something that, in fact, has nothing to do with you.

But even in a normal work situation, a warmer relationship with one of the bosses can cause dissatisfaction with the other.

I worked as a secretary to two deputy general directors in different areas of the company. But not only the areas of activity were different - the bosses themselves differed like heaven and earth. One of them (an older man, sociable and cheerful) liked to hold “political five-minute meetings” in the morning: his friend would come to him, I would make them coffee and stay in the office to listen to stories from the past. And I was very surprised when I found out that the second boss didn’t like these meetings. But they had good relationship, and my ten-minute coffee drink early morning did not affect work in any way. But nevertheless, his reaction was violent and extremely negative.

The fact is that the second leader studied and worked in America and embodied the Western style of management. For him, informal communication with subordinates was completely unacceptable, and, of course, insubordination caused irritation.

Our advice. Delimit space on your desktop, mail, electronic files. For example, in the trays on the left there will be documents for one boss, and on the right - for another. You can have two phone books. In addition, all data, including personal data, should be stored on the computer in different folders.

Take preventive measures

■ Discuss your responsibilities in advance. As a rule, the duties of a secretary are the same when working with one and another manager. But there may be nuances: for example, one requires scanning and storing certain documents in electronic form, while the other controls the execution of documents entirely on the secretary.

■ Find out whether you need to comply with personal requests from managers. And be prepared for the fact that if you are involved in the personal affairs of one boss, the second one will also take advantage of the situation. In many companies, secretaries, of course, do not deal with the personal affairs of the manager. But in practice, you often have to buy tickets and carry out other private tasks.

■ Study managers' work schedules. And try to organize your work day so as not to spend 12 hours in a row in a company. Perhaps on certain days you will arrive early, and on others, on the contrary, you will be late. Find out on what basis vacation and other organizational issues will be agreed upon.

■ If there is a lot of work and you cannot cope (the company’s staff has increased, the scope of activities has expanded, the number of orders has increased, etc.), then don’t be a hero, but, having prepared your argument, ask for an assistant.

If you work under several managers, you have the opportunity to learn how to multitask, set priorities correctly (and without this you can’t!), and adapt to different people and situations.

M.A. Yudakova,
Secretary of the Managing Director of TD Polymetal LLC

Rjob decided to figure out whether the ideal situation is when friends take the “superior-subordinate” position, or does this mean that’s it, the end of friendship and stop work?

It would seem that working together with a person with whom we pulled girls’ pigtails together at school, copied each other’s towers at university, and now on weekends we go out with our families for a barbecue - it’s comfortable, easy and effective. You can argue and, without hesitation, offer the craziest ideas, you can put him in his place, you can give him some relief, or, on the contrary, demand him to the fullest, because you know - he can do it. Problems at home? The friend already knows about this and has signed up for the day off. Perfect! It would seem. But... A friend-subordinate begins to allow himself a lot to the detriment of the work process and the atmosphere, a friend-boss doubts whether he has the right to be too tough, because on Saturday we are going fishing together. And what does it look like from colleagues outside the circle of friends...

Evgeny Sevastyanov
Open Studio, General Director

It is better not to be friends with subordinates. Friendship, yes, but not friendship. And here's why.

A person with the Russian mentality is poorly able to play two roles at the same time: along the “friend-to-friend” line and along the “manager-subordinate” line. The role of “manager-subordinate” always implies the presence of “conflict”. Moments when the performer must be strictly required to follow the rules and agreements are not uncommon. And how long do you think the friendship will last in such a confrontation? Until the first case. The subordinate will be offended - he didn’t expect this from a friend! He may leave, or he may engage in sabotage. And if he were just a friend, he would remain a good employee.

Svetlana Zaborovskaya
Shop-Logistics, Head of Human Resources

Pros and cons of friendship between boss and subordinate

Discussion of work issues - brainstorming - takes place outside the office walls and sometimes a decision is made much faster.

A subordinate-friend is more willing to complete tasks, as his sense of responsibility increases.

Managers trust their employee friends more, and it is easier to move up the career ladder.

The loyalty of subordinates who are friends is higher than that of others, provided that the leader is loyal enough.

Managers are not always ready to part with their subordinates-friends or punish them, even if they fail to cope with their responsibilities - they are afraid of offending a friend.

During working hours, non-work issues are discussed, even to the point of discussing spending the weekend together.

When a boss is fired, sometimes a friend-subordinate is ready to follow him, or he may be fired new manager, typing your friends in the same way.

As the head of the HR department, I often encounter situations where the manager cannot tell a friend the news of dismissal, and the HR service does it for him.

Maria Ponomarenko
SMART Personal, founder

The main problems arise at the intersection of social roles: on the one hand, friends are equal partnerships, on the other hand, unequal relationships are inherent in the boss-subordinate pair.

Basically, such situations are typical for starting a career. Novice managers, due to a lack of experience and skills, are prone to either a permissive management style, where subordinates are allowed a lot and responsibility is minimal, or to a rigid authoritarian style, where subordinates are perceived as a tool for achieving set goals.

Permissive style. Young specialist subordinates try to get preferences for themselves in tasks, powers and income - work less, get more. Which, of course, has a bad effect on the results of work. As a result, claims against the boss-friend appear on the part of his manager. In addition, other employees of the department see a biased attitude towards each other on the part of the boss, and this creates the ground for demotivation of colleagues, for complaints and squabbles in the team.

Authoritarian style. The young manager is not ready to work with the individual motivation of his charges. His subordinate friend assesses this as “arrogance” and “betrayal.” Friendships end.

In any case, it is advisable to avoid situations where the manager and subordinate are friends. Save friendly relations It is extremely difficult for the boss and subordinate. As a rule, this is possible at a more mature age.

In addition to the risks mentioned, there is an important problem that is often forgotten: if friends - boss and subordinate - do not have high loyalty and are connected with material or financial resources, then in the absence of proper control on the part of the company, the threat of theft becomes real. So, in one of the branches of a trading company, friends - the manager and one of the subordinates - stole building materials from the warehouse.

Olga Korneva
head of marketing department

Much depends on whether the boss knows how to say “no”, despite friendship, and how the employee perceives this “no”. If this is a friendship between two professionals who are ready to work through work situations “without personalities,” that’s great.

The problem arises if one of the parties (or both) uses friendship to compensate for missing skills. As a young boss, I tried to be friends with my subordinates, not knowing how else to ensure good results. As a result, when the crisis happened, it turned out that each employee was hoping for a special status in this situation for himself - “in a friendly way,” and this made my work very difficult. The recession was overcome, and we came out of the struggle stronger than we entered it, but the emotional outbursts during the crisis completely burned me out and showed us all the bad sides of each other. I quit. Since then, I have been conducting friendship “prevention” to avoid excessive emotions in the workplace, and I try to rely on regular management.

Olga Plisetskaya
duty coach around the country

In business, mixing roles often leads to disastrous results.

Situation. Two friends decided to collaborate. One, having become successful in his business activities, decided to encourage the other to work together, appointing him as commercial director. The relationship began to deteriorate literally on the third day, when, according to Alexey (names changed), who was hired, Mikhail “began to behave inappropriately: he forbade anyone from entering his office without the consent of the secretary, did not accept reports without the signature of his deputy, did not let him go an hour earlier, when it was really necessary.”

In Alexey’s picture of the world, Mikhail is a friend, and a childhood friend, with whom he goes through fire and water, and here there is a “stony expression on his face,” “an alien gaze,” “unusual manners of behavior.” In Mikhail’s picture of the world, Alexey “does not respect boundaries”, “does not understand that I will treat him even more strictly than others, because if they find out about our friendship, they will not take him seriously”, “behaves like a spoiled child, asking for attention and privileges.” Having learned separately what everyone expects from the other side and how they see the situation, and that both parties have a desire to preserve the relationship and find a middle ground in interaction, we jointly came up with the “Rules”, according to which it became obvious and understandable to both Alexey and Mikhail that there are certain “roles” that can be changed and improved in order to maintain friendly relations and effectively cooperate within the business.

Morality. Agree on rules and roles on shore. Do not hesitate to contact specialists: psychologists or coaches. Believe me, bosses who are friends sometimes don’t know how to play their role and choose the behavior that they once saw in other bosses. And friends who are subordinates do not want to obey, but want to Cooperate, and are sensitive to such a change of roles. Agree. As Shakespeare said: “Life is a stage, and the people in it are actors.” Business is also a game, and it is important to understand, before you start playing your role, what is new for you in it, what will change in your relationship, what is important to take into account when interacting. There are no ready-made recipes, there is only you and, perhaps, your intention to be happy and effective.

Petr Kravchenko
SP Media, Development Director

I had a similar experience when I worked as editor-in-chief of the regional supplement to the Izvestia newspaper. When I was offered to head the publication, I formed the first team of my friends and classmates, but the design did not last even a month.

I very clearly distinguish for myself where I am talking with a friend and where with a co-worker. In the second case, the conversation was tough. But my colleagues did not have such “controlled schizophrenia”, and they left. The lack of managerial experience specifically in terms of relationships with people also had an impact. We ended up promising each other that we would never work together again.

At the same time, I have two businesses with my close friends. I am still very demanding and can be harsh in my formulations, but equal status apparently makes my position less oppressive.

Natalya Storozheva
expert of the Russian School of Management

Friendship between a boss and a subordinate is a common situation. There are many advantages to this: mutual understanding, trust, support, cohesion, coordination of actions. But there are also disadvantages: difficulties with subordination, recognition of leadership, hidden envy.

Friendly relationships are good in startups, at the stage of “promoting” a business. When the situation requires intense multitasking, when there is no clear division of responsibilities and “everyone is doing everything,” then friendship is a valuable resource, a source of growth and development for business. Every third startup is a team of friends or former colleagues, where one or two take on the leadership function and responsibility for the overall result, and the rest work as collaborators.

When a business moves into the next stage of development and begins to gradually formalize, here the friendship between a boss and a subordinate can crack. This occurs due to an increase in the distance between the manager and employees, including friends. Distancing is an objective process, but not everyone can understand and accept it. The more people there are in a company, the more complex business processes become, the more “bureaucracy” there is in the company.

Issues that were previously discussed over a cup of coffee are now resolved only at a meeting or with the help of memos. Not every friendship can withstand such tests as “budget”, “plan” and “report”.

From a manager’s point of view, friends are poorly managed employees; working with them is much more difficult than with other specialists.

From the point of view of a subordinate, a friend-boss is often arrogant, biased, ungrateful, and greedy.

In addition, friendship is often destroyed by envy: we started together, sat at the same table, and now I have to account for every thousand rubles!

If you value friendship, then do not hire friends to work; rather, help them find a place in a good company.

If you value relationships, do not go to work for your friends, since the boss is “always wrong” and for you he is always on the other side of the barricade.

By the way, we have started a channel on Telegram, where we publish the most interesting news about real estate and real estate technologies. If you want to be one of the first to read these materials, then subscribe: t.me/ners_news.

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Hello, Elena! In Soviet labor law, there was indeed such a prohibition. Now, if your kindergarten is under municipal subordination (not private), the Anti-Corruption Law can help you. It does not prohibit working under a relative, but there is a reference to abuses in the interests of third parties - in your case, relatives. Corruption is the use by an individual of his official position contrary to the legitimate interests of society and the state in order to obtain benefits in the form of money, valuables, other property or services of a property nature, other property rights for himself or for third parties, or the illegal provision of such benefits to the specified person by other individuals . Corruption will also be the commission of these acts on behalf of or in the interests of a legal entity.

Below I quote Art. 10 and 11 of this Law, but, I repeat, it is applicable if the kindergarten is not an LLC. not a closed joint stock company, but is under municipal subordination.

Federal law Russian Federation

This Federal Law establishes the basic principles of anti-corruption, the legal and organizational basis for preventing and combating corruption, minimizing and (or) eliminating the consequences of corruption offenses.

Article 1. Basic concepts used herein Federal law

For the purposes of this Federal Law, the following basic concepts are used:

1) corruption:

a) abuse of official position, giving a bribe, receiving a bribe, abuse of power, commercial bribery or other illegal use by an individual of his official position contrary to the legitimate interests of society and the state in order to obtain benefits in the form of money, valuables, other property or services of a property nature, etc. property rights for oneself or for third parties, or the illegal provision of such benefits to the specified person by other individuals;

b) committing the acts specified in subparagraph “a” of this paragraph on behalf of or in the interests of a legal entity;

2) anti-corruption - the activities of federal government bodies, government bodies of constituent entities of the Russian Federation, local government bodies, civil society institutions, organizations and individuals within the limits of their powers:

a) to prevent corruption, including identifying and subsequently eliminating the causes of corruption (prevention of corruption);

b) to identify, prevent, suppress, disclose and investigate corruption offenses (fight against corruption);

c) to minimize and (or) eliminate the consequences of corruption offenses.

Article 10. Conflict of interests in state and municipal service

1. In this Federal Law, a conflict of interest in the state or municipal service is understood as a situation in which the personal interest (direct or indirect) of a state or municipal employee affects or may affect the proper performance of his official (official) duties and in which it arises or may arise a contradiction between the personal interest of a state or municipal employee and the rights and legitimate interests of citizens, organizations, society or the state, which can lead to harm to the rights and legitimate interests of citizens, organizations, society or the state.

2. The personal interest of a state or municipal employee, which affects or may influence the proper performance of his official (official) duties, is understood as the possibility of the state or municipal employee receiving income in the form of money, valuables, other property or services in the performance of official (official) duties property nature, other property rights for themselves or for third parties.

Article 11. Procedure for preventing and resolving conflicts of interest in state and municipal service

1. A state or municipal employee is obliged to take measures to prevent any possibility of a conflict of interest.

2. A state or municipal employee is obliged to notify his immediate superior in writing about a conflict of interest that has arisen or about the possibility of its occurrence as soon as he becomes aware of it.

3. The representative of the employer, if he becomes aware that a state or municipal employee has a personal interest that leads or may lead to a conflict of interest, is obliged to take measures to prevent or resolve the conflict of interest.

4. Prevention or resolution of a conflict of interest may consist in changing the official or official position of a state or municipal employee who is a party to the conflict of interest, up to his removal from the performance of official (official) duties in the prescribed manner, and (or) in refusing him benefits, causing a conflict of interest.

5. Prevention and resolution of conflicts of interest to which a state or municipal employee is a party are carried out by recusal or self-recusal of a state or municipal employee in cases and in the manner provided for by the legislation of the Russian Federation.

6. If a state or municipal employee owns securities, shares (participatory interests, shares in the authorized (share) capital of organizations), he is obliged, in order to prevent a conflict of interest, to transfer the securities, shares (participatory interests, shares in the authorized capital) belonging to him (share) capital of organizations) into trust management in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation.

Unfortunately, this is all that can be applied to your case. You are not the only one becoming the object of “squeezing out” by family clans. There is one more small clue, but difficult to implement: registration, citizenship, if not the Russian Federation, availability of a work permit, availability of a medical book.

It happens that a boss and a subordinate are friends. Is this good or bad? The author proves that this is extremely harmful for business and business relationships. A boss and a subordinate cannot and should not be friends. What to do if this has already happened? We need to become friends! Ruin a friendship or sacrifice a promotion for the sake of a friendship. Read!

It happens that some progressive mother will boast: “My daughter and I are friends! We don’t hide anything from each other!” Well, well! There is nothing to be proud of here. Vice versa. Mommy will still cry!

Even more puzzling are cases when a boss and a subordinate are friends. This is woe, this is woe!

This usually happens if, as in the song: “Two comrades served. Yeah!” Two friends worked together or two workers worked together and became friends. Often friendship goes far - families become friends.

They become friends, and suddenly... Bam! One of them is appointed boss over the other. We've arrived!

In my mind, this cannot be done, and if one of the friends deserves a promotion to a leadership position, then the right thing to do would be to separate the friends:

• appoint a manager to manage another department;
• transfer a subordinate friend to another department.

• do not appoint any of your friends as a leader;
• fire a friend immediately once his friend is appointed manager.

However, in life everything is worse, and you rarely make the right decisions. Friends remain friends - one is a boss, the other is his subordinate. From this moment on, everything goes downhill, and when it gets there, it will break into pieces. The merciless and unscrupulous exploitation of friendly relations begins.

Friendship is structured in such a way that everything in it should be equal. As in the song: “Half for you and half for me!” Yeah!” Equally everything:

• I told you my secrets about myself, and you tell me your secrets;
• I helped you, and you help me;
• I asked you to do it for me, and you ask me...

• the boss tells about the secrets of the echelons of power to a person who has neither relation to this nor access to it - he divulges the secret, and a subordinate friend spills the beans to his colleagues, and here you have a riot on the ship;
• the boss helps his subordinate friend get easier or more interesting tasks, protects him from business trips and extracurricular work, rewards him first and punishes him last;
• the boss cannot order a subordinate friend, but can only ask, and from that moment the boss ceases to be a boss, and if so, then the boss’s other employees no longer care, and shadow leaders crawl out of the dark corners like spiders.

The boss is kaput!

And what does such friendship mean for a subordinate friend:

• It is not friendly to conceal from a friend the boss what is said about him in the team, as well as employees among themselves, about secret, personal, intimate... willy-nilly you will become an “informer”;
• the subordinate friend will now take the first step forward, become a volunteer for all unpopular and extracurricular work, contrary to public opinion, vote for the inhumane decision of the boss’s friend;
• friendly - “I beg you!” a friend of the boss will become an order, failure to comply with which will result in execution.

This whole dramatic performance unfolds in front of the eyes of the native team, neighboring teams, bosses from top to bottom, families... The cup of patience of the nature of the state of affairs will overflow, and the drama will develop into a tragedy - friends will begin to become friends.

It’s good if a friend’s boss finally transfers his friend to his neighbors or fires his friend’s subordinate. It’s good if a subordinate friend gets completely offended, stops obeying, starts a riot and forces him to be hanged on a yardarm. It is worse if, bleeding poison, they poison the lives of each other and their families.

I know that there will be apologists for friendship, freedom and equality who will passionately prove that friendship between a boss and a subordinate is possible, desirable, beautiful, divine... Well, well! This is what all novice alcoholics and drug addicts say: “I drink every day, and nothing! I know how to control myself! Nothing will happen to me!” Nature is stronger than our stupid dreams.

Friendship between a boss and a subordinate is extremely harmful to business and business relationships. If this happens to you, take immediate treatment measures - they were listed above. This is roughly the tone of newspaper advertisements for drug addiction specialists. You can consider my phone a “helpline”.

In fact, it doesn’t matter how the spouses ended up working together at the same job - is it a consequence office romance, family business or in some other way. This phenomenon has certain pros and cons.

Pros - there are significantly fewer of them:
- Organizational side for planning family affairs. For example, it is easier to get home and to work together, have lunch, plan purchases, organize raising children, manage the household, etc.
- Disputes regarding whether it is good or bad if spouses have the same profession are more likely to be resolved positively. This is rather good. When the passion ends, you need to say something. In particular, you can discuss work, the case you are working on. Collaboration makes it possible to communicate on understandable topics. In general, common interests strengthen the family.

Recommendations for married couples who work together.
- It is advisable to develop the ability to disconnect from work during non-working hours. It is given, as a rule, with experience and for many - with great difficulty.
- At work, overlap as little as possible. If you have to work on joint projects, then you need to learn to give in, to seek a compromise, because, most likely, disputes will arise.
- It’s better to spend your vacation together. Because in this way, spouses will be able to actually break away from work and remember that they are, first and foremost, a family. But evenings and weekends should be spent separately, have your own hobbies and friends. This will give you the opportunity to take a break from each other.
- There are always exceptions to the rules; there are married couples who work quite successfully together at the same job and feel very good. - Probably, such couples simply cannot imagine themselves without each other.