A guide for parents on raising children. The best tips and useful recommendations for parents on raising children. Advice from a psychologist on raising children: from infancy to adolescence

Parents should not ignore what is happening to the child, but at the same time they should try to explain to him that they and other relatives have other things to do besides taking care of him.

Of course, there are no ready-made recipes or models education, which you can simply take and, without changing, "attach" to your child. Definite positive impact on family practice education published in recent years pedagogical manuals and recommendations for parents.

1. Believe in your uniqueness baby, in what is yours the child is one of a kind. Therefore, you should not demand from baby implementing your life program and achieving your goals. Give him the right to live his life on his own.

2. Allow child to be himself, with its shortcomings, weaknesses and advantages. Rely on strengths baby. Don't be shy to show him your love, let him know that you will always love him and under any circumstances.

3. Praise not the child’s personality, but his actions, look into the child’s eyes more often, hug and kiss him.

4. As educational influences, use affection and encouragement more often than punishment and reproach.

5. Try not to let your love turn into permissiveness and neglect. Set clear boundaries and restrictions and allow child to act freely within these limits. Strictly adhere to the established prohibitions and permissions.

6. Do not rush to resort to punishment. Try to influence baby requests are the most effective way give him instructions. In case of disobedience, an adult must ensure that the request is appropriate for age and ability. baby. If child demonstrates open disobedience, an adult may consider punishment. The punishment must correspond to the offense child must clearly understand why he is being punished.

7. Talk to you more often child, explain to him incomprehensible phenomena and situations, the essence of prohibitions and restrictions. Help child to learn verbally, express your desires, feelings and experiences, learn to interpret your behavior and the behavior of other people.

8. Teach yours baby make friends with other children, do not condemn him to loneliness.

9. Anyone child- an excellent student or a poor student, active or slow, an athlete or a weakling - can be your friend child and therefore deserves your respect.

10. Appreciate your friends baby not from the standpoint of its capabilities parents, but from the point of view of his relationship to yours child. All the value of a person is in himself.

11. Teach your own attitude towards friends child appreciate friends.

12. Try to show your child his friends' strengths, not their weaknesses.

13. Praise yours baby for demonstrating his virtues in friendship.

14. Invite your friends child to the house, communicate with them.

15. Remember that childhood friendships that you maintain will probably become the foundation of your child in adulthood.

16. Teach your own baby be honest with friends and not seek benefits from friendship.

17. Learn to be your own child's friend.

18. If your child he confides his secrets to you as friends, do not blackmail him with them.

19. Criticize, not humiliate, but support.

20. Be supportive child desire to please friends.

21. Avoid betrayal baby towards friends. A small meanness gives birth to a big one.

Publications on the topic:

How to introduce a child to his native village. Recommendations for parents Recommendations for parents “How to introduce a child to his native village” 1. PRI R O D A Our village of Shatki is located in the south of Nizhny Novgorod.

Crisis of three years. Recommendations for parents Developmental crises are relatively short (from several months to a year or two) periods in life, during which a person changes noticeably.

Recommendations for parents of future first-graders. So my little ones have grown up. They will have to go to school soon. What I want to tell parents: the main thing.

Recommendations for parents of future first-graders The success of his entry into school life will depend on how the child is prepared for school throughout the previous period of development.

Recommendations for parents “Winter has come” Recommendations for parents! Winter has come. To prevent children from overheating, take care of their clothing. Dress children according to the season. .

Recommendations for parents on how to adapt their child to kindergarten Dear parents! In order for your child to quickly and easily get used to the new way of life that offers kindergarten, felt.

Recommendations for parents on musical education of children of primary preschool age (part 1) Part 2 “Music is like life, and life is like music.” It is recognized throughout the world that best conditions for the development and education of a young child.

Some parents use an authoritarian parenting style that does not allow the child to express his or her “I.” Other mothers (and most often grandmothers), on the contrary, “go too far” with a liberal style, with almost no control over the child. Practice shows that both of these extremes prevent children from developing adequate self-esteem and learning to regulate their emotions.

Speak to the point

When a child hears his mother’s long speeches about how to behave, how to act well and how not, he quickly “switches off” and his attention dissipates. The human brain is designed in such a way that we clearly remember and “write down” the first 30 seconds of what was said. Try to keep it to 2-3 sentences.

Make sure that your thought does not branch into several separate ones, so that the message is delivered without excitement and negative emotions. And the main thing is that your proposals should convey a willingness to cooperate (“Come on...”, “Help me...”, “Try to make sure that...”).

Share responsibility

Most parents are familiar with the morning rush and bustle. Mothers zealously get their offspring and husband ready: to school, to kindergarten, to work. And you also need to have time to get ready yourself, walk the dog... So the morning begins with calls: “Get up, you’ll be late! Breakfast is getting cold! Why hasn't anyone dressed yet? Are you still lying around?!” And so on every 10 minutes.

In such a situation, you take on too much responsibility. You try to control everyone through constant reminders and criticism. Over time, children get used to this and become deaf to your calls. You're simply teaching them to ignore their requests because they know you won't stop reminding them of things.

Try telling your child, “We're leaving in 45 minutes. If you don’t manage to get ready on time, you will have to explain the reason for being late to your teacher.” This way you transfer responsibility for the fees to the child and force him to understand the consequences of his behavior.

Don't complain

Are you one of those people who, upon coming home, begins their conversation as follows: “Well, what is this! I asked you to remove all the toys, I’m at work all day, earning money for you, and you, ungrateful and selfish, can’t even help me! And I, tired, still have to clean up after you?”

Don't expect to make children feel guilty and ashamed with such tirades. This is bad practice. Up to a certain point, children are not capable of empathy. By the way, not every mature person succeeds in this. The ability to sympathize comes as you grow older. The best solution in this case, communicate your feelings without blaming anyone.

Give your child the opportunity to correct something and do not label it.

Engage Effective Listening

Sometimes a child wants to tell us something important, but we don’t hear him while washing dishes or ironing clothes, we send him off to play... And the upset baby goes to his room...

Meanwhile, listening carefully is an integral part of a respectful attitude. Yes, listening, especially with a lot of household chores, is a really difficult task. But take 10-15 minutes every day to listen carefully to everything your child says. Sit so that your eyes are at the same level.

Throughout your baby’s story, maintain eye contact, and use your words, facial expressions and gestures to make it clear that you empathize with him! Then the child will feel that he is worthy of your attention, care and, of course, love.

Raising children is a very difficult job, and sometimes we all make mistakes. Full communication with children requires energy and time. It is important to be aware of your feelings in time and “catch” yourself in what we say.

Remember, children take their example from us first of all. And how we behave towards them determines what kind of people our girls and boys will grow up to be.

The role of parents, their upbringing of children is the most important mechanism in the development of any personality. It is the family that is a small model of the society where one will live in the future. In the family, the first views on life, development are formed, the choice of profession, the form of relationships are determined, and it is impossible to overestimate the role of parenting. Young mothers and fathers do not always understand their child and can explain his behavior and actions. Let's consider the main recommendations for parents that will help in raising the younger generation.

Parents' responsibility for raising children

No activity in life can compare in complexity to raising a child. It doesn’t know vacations, weekends, and doesn’t look at your mood or well-being. The parenting process requires great understanding and patience. It’s great if you’re in a full family. In this case, he receives the necessary experience not only of living in society, but also learns to communicate between the sexes. In addition, it is easier for a child to experience conflict situations with one of the parents, knowing that he can find support from the other. In traditional upbringing, dad usually punishes for misdeeds and is strict. Mom will always take pity and console you.

Recommendations for parents on parenting include the point that the influence of mom and dad on the child is different. A father develops perseverance of character in his daughter or son, teaches him to achieve goals and defend his opinion. Using his example, he demonstrates how to overcome various life obstacles and protect yourself in the world around you. The mother teaches adaptation to life conditions. It is the mother who instills the basics of hygiene, self-care, and teaches the rules of communication and independence.

When raising a child, astrology should also be taken into account. It has already been proven that the year of birth influences. For example, recommendations for parents of children of the year of the Tiger indicate that it is necessary to take into account that the Tiger is a true idealist. He is full of inspiration, gifted, shows interest in everything new, inquisitive and inquisitive. Parents will not need to unravel the reasons for his grievances; he will lay everything out himself. The Ox child is very bright, he needs to be encouraged and supported in every possible way so that his talents are revealed. But the Horse doesn’t listen to anyone, a very difficult sign. But at the same time, children of this sign are very smart and quickly learn the material. When raising children, listen to the recommendations of astrologers, this will make the process easier.

Recommendations for parents on upbringing indicate that from early childhood it is necessary to instill in the child the desire to be strong and healthy. Fundamentals need to be cultivated healthy image life. The child must learn that strength and health are inextricably linked; he must learn to take care of his health and take it seriously. In this matter, the recommendations for children and parents are simple: let your baby know that health, both physical and mental, is an invaluable gift and wealth that needs to be strengthened. Parents should pay special attention in preschool age to the following:

• Mental health (there should be a favorable environment in the family, stressful situations should be completely excluded).
• Be sure to set it to preschool mode. At school age it will be difficult for him to get used to the regime if before that he lived without any routine.
• In preschool age, one cannot remain in a static position for a long time due to poorly developed muscles. The baby must be constantly active and on the move. Otherwise, the diagnosis of “hypodynamia” is inevitable.
• Teach your child from an early age that hygiene is the main basis of health. He must always follow her rules.

The main advantage of preschoolers is age. It is during this period that one can easily learn what is more difficult to master at a later age. For example, if a person has not learned to speak until the age of six, then every year the chances of this decrease. How older child, the more difficult it will be to teach him some basic skills. Use the preschool period more actively, during these years the baby absorbs everything like a sponge. Invest in him as many tools as possible that he will be able to use in the future for further education at school.

Parents very often encounter problems in relationships with their growing children; there is no need to be afraid of this. In such cases, it is worth listening to what recommendations experienced teachers and psychologists give to parents. Here are some of them:

The most important age in a child's development is the preschool period. The baby learns more at this time than in the rest of his life. The knowledge acquired during this period is the basis for the rest of life. To prepare your child for school, the following recommendations will be useful for parents of preschoolers.

The best way to teach a child is through play. At this age it is necessary to develop logic, speech skills, and thinking. You can use educational games for this: modeling, puzzles, coloring, music, drawing. In the future, all these skills will be useful to the child. Of course, in kindergarten a child will learn a lot. But know that education and upbringing are a two-way process, in which parents and educators act together. You shouldn’t put the educational function on the shoulders of teachers; do more of the work with the children yourself.

Methods of teaching and learning something new should take the form of a game. Conduct training as if you were playing with a baby. Do not tell him the phrases “should”, “should”. Let him get used to learning from the position of “interesting”. Instill a thirst for learning, find a form of play so that the child himself constantly strives to play it.

Pay attention to speech

Do not calmly stop developing if the child speaks clearly. Pay attention to his speech, compare with an adult. Recommendations for children and parents from speech therapists indicate that vocabulary The child must always be replenished. He must learn to form his thoughts correctly. Play games with your child that require you to use your imagination, introduce new words, and use methods that develop your child’s speech. Don’t stop once your child has learned basic words, introduce new concepts, and expand your vocabulary. Don't think that he will learn everything on his own at school. Remember how many people cannot express their thoughts and have a poor vocabulary. Don't leave this problem to school.

• IN early age examine the formation of the child’s speech apparatus. There are times when children need a speech therapist to examine the articulatory apparatus and give recommendations.
• Don't forget to do articulation gymnastics.
• You just need to talk to your child correctly. You should not use “childish words” in your speech. A child, hearing various incorrect expressions from you, on the contrary, repeats them more often.
• Children hearing babble from adults have speech problems and difficulties with thinking. The better and clearer the speech, the more correct the writing will be in the future.

Parents' recommendations for instilling a sense of responsibility

From a very early age, it is necessary to instill in children a sense of responsibility. To do this, give the child the right to vote; in especially important matters, give the right to choose. In matters that he is able to decide himself, the choice remains his. But where his well-being is concerned, he only has the right to a voice; the choice here is up to the adults. We decide for him, but at the same time we show that this is inevitable.

Recommendations from parents of children preschool age indicate the need to already early years Give the child the opportunity to be responsible for his actions. Instill in him that when he goes to school, he will do his homework himself, and the responsibility for this will lie with him. When your child starts going to school, don't reproach him with doing his homework. Don’t monitor progress and then check completed tasks. If from the first days you sit with him during lessons, this burden will fall on your shoulders forever. Children often use this as a weapon against their parents; they can blackmail and exploit their parents when performing tasks.

You will avoid many troubles if you are not interested in the smallest details, but make it clear that this responsibility rests entirely with the child. No one argues that it is necessary to help and suggest, but let the child learn on his own! Let him be responsible for his actions and their consequences from an early age. But don’t forget to praise for the results achieved. This helps the baby assert his own importance.

Responsibility in the family

Encourage initiative. Does your child want to wash dishes with you? Place a stool nearby and wash together! Do you want to clean the house? Hand him the vacuum cleaner. Naturally, the process will drag on, but let the child feel like an adult and be proud of his achievements. Let him feel responsible for the order in the house.

It is important that the instructions are achievable, otherwise the result will only be tears. Better than many words is a personal example. When teaching responsibility, control your actions, behavior and words, because the baby will definitely copy everything. You won’t be able to always be with your child, but it is quite possible to explain how to act in a given situation.

Parents' recommendations on the topic of responsibility also affect relationships with elders. Don't scream because mom is sleeping, don't make noise because grandma has a headache. It is important that the child understands that not only should he be taken care of, he should also give his love to loved ones and others.

Give each action an appropriate explanation. “You scattered it, you clean it up”, “Did it break? It’s a shame, but we won’t be able to buy this toy again.”

Explain to your child that you need to approach your promises very responsibly. Don’t forget to confirm this with your own examples.

Always give an alternative, a choice in a given situation. Offer this or that: porridge or cottage cheese with sour cream for breakfast, trousers or jeans for the street... The truth is simple: a sense of responsibility is formed through examples, and decisions made The child must answer for himself. As a result of many years of practice, a responsible person will grow up who will be able to answer for his actions in life.

Adaptation to school

The turning point in the life of every child is entering school. The school process radically changes the way of life: you need to work hard and systematically, obey all sorts of norms, observe the daily routine, and carry out the teacher’s instructions. Every first grader, along with a feeling of delight about his growing up, also experiences confusion, anxiety and tension. At this time adaptation occurs. Recommendations for parents received from experienced teachers and psychologists will help the child not to get lost in the adult school world and quickly get used to the environment. Adaptation is a long process, and if for some it lasts a month, some get used to the change in lifestyle throughout the entire first grade. Not only children, but also parents and teachers experience difficulties during this period. We need to work together to make this process easier.

Adults should support the child in the desire to communicate with classmates, learn something new, create comfortable conditions for classes. Parents can do a lot to make their child enjoy going to school. First of all, this relates to requirements. Forget about authoritarian methods, try to be a friend to the baby during this period. Don’t ask him at the door what grade he got. First, ask what new and interesting things he learned today, who he made friends with, what he did in class. If children cannot immediately give sensible answers, there is no need to get upset and scold them. Don't show your irritation. The child undergoes a psychological adjustment from kindergarten to school. Basic recommendations for parents in the fall: monitor the baby’s health, walk more with him, because the day begins to decline sharply, and the lack of sun also affects brain activity. Never force your child to sit down for homework until he or she has completely taken a break from school. A minimum of 3-4 hours should pass after class.

There's no place for fear here

• The child should not be afraid of mistakes. This panic fear can completely discourage you from studying.
• Give us the opportunity to make mistakes and help correct mistakes. Suggest that everyone makes mistakes, but with hard work they achieve results.
• The feeling of fear suppresses initiative in everything: not only to study, but also to simply enjoy life. Remind your child of the well-known proverbs: “You learn from mistakes,” “He who does nothing makes no mistakes.”
• Never compare with others. Praise personal achievements. Let the child be himself. And love him for who he is. This way he will be confident in your support at any time. life situation.
• Parents are advised that they should never compare boys and girls. These two are perfect different worlds who feel and perceive information differently. Girls are usually older in biological age than their boys the same age.
• Remember that your child is not a copy of you. He won't learn the same way you once did. Take it for granted. Don't scold or call him hurtful words for your inability to do something.
• Show more attention to your child. Rejoice with him even in the smallest successes, do not reprimand him for failures. Be everything else. And then even the baby’s secret will trust you, and not his friends in the yard.

• If you suddenly have to reprimand a child for some kind of misconduct, never use expressions such as “You in general”, “Always you”, “Always you”. Tell him that he is always good, but today he did something wrong.
• Never break up in a quarrel without making peace after the conflict. Make peace first, and then go about your business.
• Instill in your child a love of home. May he always return home with joy. Don’t forget to say when you come from somewhere: “How nice, warm and cozy it is here.”
• To enrich your spiritual life, read books out loud more often with your children, even with teenagers. Good book will bring you even closer.
• When arguing with children, sometimes give in to them. The child should know that sometimes he is right. So in the future he will learn to give in to other people, to accept defeats and mistakes.
• Remember to always admire and encourage. Confidence is born in those cases when you are often told “I believe in you”, “You can do it”, “Amazing! You have achieved this." But don't forget about criticism. Sometimes it needs to be combined with praise.
• The most important qualities in life that parents simply must instill in their children are resourcefulness, responsibility, and respect.

All the mentioned recommendations for parents will help to develop a strong, resilient personality. The child will devote a lot of energy to school, and he will simply need the support and help of his parents. Finally, here are a few more basic parenting tips:

• When communicating with a child, do not undermine the authorities in which he believes. It's his choice.
• Always be consistent in your decisions. There is no need to prohibit doing something that was previously allowed.
• Don't demand anything your baby can't do. If difficulties arise in any school subject, help them figure it out, and don’t forget to praise them at the slightest achievement.
• Use physical affectionate contact more often, hug, kiss your child.
• Be an example to him in everything.
• Make as few comments as possible.
• Do not humiliate your child with punishments; use this only in extreme cases.

Be good parents is not an easy matter, which is why millions of married couples study various books and manuals on how to properly treat their child. By applying these 12 parenting tips, many moms and dads have already achieved success. So what is their secret? What rules do they follow to create harmonious relationships with their children?

1. It’s normal to have extreme patience.

As often happens, children do not pay attention to their parents’ comments, and sometimes even violently resist their instructions. When the critical moment comes, mothers and fathers give up and give in to the child. By doing this, they want to maintain peace, show patience, and want to be “good parents.” But thus parents lose their authority– if children push hard, they will get what they want under pressure.

It is important to remember that anyone can lose patience, we are all human and everyone can lose their temper, there is nothing wrong with that. Containing anger and irritation is actually difficult, especially if children do everything as if out of spite. The child must understand that you do not like this behavior; you cannot follow the lead of your son or daughter. Allow your emotions to manifest themselves, rather than hiding them inside yourself, let your child and yourself understand that you do not agree with the situation. The accumulated negativity will subsequently find a way out, only then can all family members suffer, and children most of all.

2. Teach your child to enjoy a toy, and not count its price.

When purchasing an expensive toy for a child, parents often ask them to treat it with special care, constantly reminding them of how much it costs. But for a child this does not matter, because he cannot yet evaluate things and objects based on their monetary costs.

Understanding the value of money will come to him later, and when children are small, they are equally interested in playing with both simple trinkets and expensive toys. Even playing with a simple piece of paper or a bag sometimes seems more exciting to them than with a radio-controlled helicopter.

3. Punishment is a manifestation of love

Do you consider yourself bad parents, if you have to punish children? When your son or daughter does stupid things, you have the right to be angry with them, and therefore to punish them. Reprimand is a loving measure; without it, a child will not learn to see the boundaries of what is permitted.

Thanks to timely punishment, children begin to understand that every action they take has consequences., they grow up to be people who know how to take responsibility for their actions. Remember that being good parents does not mean that you need to turn a blind eye to your child’s bad behavior and allow him everything.

4. Don't be afraid to refuse

How nice it is to answer affirmatively to all the children’s requests, because they are so sincerely happy! But saying "yes" all the time can lead to relationship problems years later. A child who is not accustomed to refusals will begin to demand more and more over time, what should parents do then?? Will they be able to fulfill all the whims and requests of a teenager?

Don’t be afraid to refuse children who are still young; show firmness when necessary, saying your firm “no.” When you refuse a child for the first time, you may encounter resistance in the form of tears, whims, hysteria, but do not give in, if the decision is made, stick to your word. Once you give in to your child’s whims, it will subsequently become even more difficult to refuse him something else.

5. Raise children to be independent

By not trusting your children to carry out small tasks around the house, by doing all the work for them, you will achieve only one thing - when they grow up, they will not be able to do basic things, such as warm up their own food or wash the dishes. It is necessary to teach a child to be independent from early childhood. Ask them to help collect toys and wipe off dust.

If your daughter wants to wash a plate, allow her, even if the result is not the best, still praise the girl for her initiative and effort. Never tell your child that he won’t succeed; don’t do the work for him. Such words will discourage you from taking on any business at all in the future. By doing this, parents do not give their children the opportunity to develop independence.

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6. Don’t deprive yourself of the right to rest

The responsibility of raising children is a job that requires constant effort and attention, and it is also a 24/7 job. You can’t quit her job, and you can’t get a vacation either. But moms and dads still need to rest to regain their strength. Sometimes it’s worth taking a so-called day off.

Teach your child to understand your needs for sleep and rest.. Explain that while mom is lying down, the children can do something interesting - draw, make a figure from plasticine, or just watch cartoons. Teach them to play quietly and not make numerous requests to their mother when she is resting. However, observe moderation - children should not be left for long without adult supervision, you will be rested, but the child will be left to his own devices.

7. Form the habit of eating right from an early age

Full and proper nutrition at an early age - what you need to teach your children, because human health depends on it. If you choose healthy products, let your child adopt this habit from you. It is a mistake to believe that while children are small, they can eat everything - sweets and chips. This does not mean that kids should eat only cereals and vegetables, but you should not include fast food or other unhealthy foods in their daily diet.

Grandmothers pose the greatest danger here - they constantly think that their grandchildren are hungry, offering them either pies or pancakes. Tactfully but strictly explain to elderly relatives that by showing excessive care and love for children, they harm their health.

8. Having children is not the end of life.

Being parents does not mean giving up your own interests and entertainment. Of course, moms and dads don’t have as much time to meet friends and go to the movies as they used to before children were born. But you cannot completely deprive yourself of some kind of emotional relief. It is important to learn to combine parental responsibilities with your interests, to find a middle ground.

9. Take an interest in your child’s life

By showing interest in what your baby is doing and hobbies, you are building a solid foundation for good relations in the future. In early childhood, a child can enthusiastically tell you about Pokemon, Peppa Pig and other favorite characters, new toys and cartoons.

Delving into the words of children, getting to know their world, you become close friends. When the baby grows up, he will begin to share with you more adult problems and hobbies, knowing that you will not brush him off, but will support and listen.

10. Parents need to be able to ask for forgiveness.

Basing your upbringing on the principle “mom is always right” and stubbornly not admitting your mistakes is fundamentally wrong. Everyone makes mistakes - both children and adults. And since you teach your child to ask for forgiveness for his misdeeds, be so kind as to follow your own rules and also admit your guilt.

Yes, it can be difficult, but there is no shame in it. Such objective observance of the rules in your family will allow you to build a harmonious and warm relationship with your child on equal terms.

11. The limit has come - take a time out

There are situations when the atmosphere heats up almost to the limit, when emotions, replacing each other, overwhelm and are ready to spill out. In this case, it’s worth taking a time out - ask your grandmother or friend to take the children for at least an hour or two to give yourself the opportunity to restore calm.

If you feel that the peak of emotional overexcitation is coming, stop, go to another room at least for 20 minutes, take a shower, think about the upcoming trip to the sea. This way you will avoid a lot conflict situations and learn to remain calm.

12. Your children are the best in the world.

For parents, their child, even an adult (namely, he will be a child for you both at 5 and at 45) will always be the best, most beautiful, smart, sweet and kind. Don't be afraid of your feelings, but show them as often as possible. Some mothers and fathers believe that excessive love and care will only spoil their children, so they begin to criticize them. Do not deprive your child of support and tenderness, because they are more effective than any educational measures.

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Parents should not ignore what is happening to the child, but at the same time they should try to explain to him that they and other relatives have other things to do besides taking care of him.

Of course, there are no ready-made recipes and models of education that you can simply take and, without changing, “apply” to your child. Definite positive impact on practice family education The pedagogical manuals and recommendations for parents published in recent years have contributed.

1. Believe in the uniqueness of your child, that your child is one of a kind. Therefore, you should not demand that your child implement the life program you set and achieve the goals you set. Give him the right to live his life on his own.

2. Let the child be himself, with his own shortcomings, weaknesses and strengths. Build on your child's strengths. Don't be shy to show him your love, let him know that you will always love him and under any circumstances.

3. Praise not the child’s personality, but his actions, look into the child’s eyes more often, hug and kiss him.

4. As an educational influence, use affection and encouragement more often than punishment and reproach.

5. Try not to let your love turn into permissiveness and neglect. Set clear boundaries and restrictions and allow your child to act freely within these boundaries. Strictly adhere to the established prohibitions and permissions.

6. Do not rush to resort to punishment. Try to influence the child with requests - this is the most effective way to give him instructions. In case of disobedience, the adult must ensure that the request is appropriate to the age and capabilities of the child. If a child shows open disobedience, an adult may consider punishment. The punishment must correspond to the offense; the child must clearly understand why he is being punished.

7. Talk to your child more often, explain to him incomprehensible phenomena and situations, the essence of prohibitions and restrictions. Help your child learn to verbally express his desires, feelings and experiences, and learn to interpret his behavior and the behavior of other people.

8. Teach your child to be friends with other children, do not condemn him to loneliness.

9. Any child - an excellent student or a poor student, active or slow, an athlete or a weakling - can be a friend to your child and therefore deserves respect from you.

10. Value your child’s friends not from the perspective of his parents’ capabilities, but from the perspective of his attitude towards your child. All the value of a person is in himself.

11. Teach your child to value friends through your own attitude towards friends.

12. Try to show your child the strengths of his friends, not the weaknesses.

13. Praise your child for demonstrating his strengths in friendships.

14. Invite your child’s friends into the house and communicate with them.

15. Remember that childhood friendships that you support may become your child's support in adulthood.

16. Teach your child to be honest with friends and not to seek benefits from friendship.

17. Learn to be your child’s friend.

18. If your child confides his secrets to you as friends, do not blackmail him with them.

19. Criticize, not humiliate, but support.

20. Encourage your child to do something nice for his friends.

21. Do not allow your child to betray his friends. A small meanness gives birth to a big one.

Your home should be open not only to your friends, but also to your child's friends. Especially if you are sure that your baby is a “non-kindergarten” child. Going to clubs and sections can develop a child’s intellectual, sports or aesthetic abilities. But he will not be able to acquire the skills of real children's communication there: attention is focused on classes, after which the children are taken home. At best, they tinker in the sandbox. But this is not enough.

This means that your destiny is to become a director of all kinds of holidays, children's parties, and organize a home club. Of course, this is not easy, but it will pay off handsomely.

Mothers who have one child can be overly anxious. Which is understandable, but often becomes a burden for the child. Strict control can ruin the first shoots of independence, and in adolescence, when most children strive to gain independence, will cause serious conflicts between the child and adults.

When there are several children, parents, willy-nilly, distribute love, care and severity to everyone. And they give the children more independence, and the only thing that is more difficult to let go of is that in the eyes of strangers he is already big, but his mother is sure that he doesn’t know how to do that yet - he doesn’t know that. You can’t help but worry about your child, but you can hide this fear from him. Learn not to show anxiety, try to speak calmly and be restrained. For some this will be enough common sense, others will benefit from elements of auto-training, while others should pay more attention to their own achievements and failures so as not to focus so much on children’s.

It is important to let your child complete tasks on his own so that he feels independent. His initiative must be encouraged and encouraged. At the same time, the child should always feel the support and approval of a significant adult, and emotional contact should be established.

As the child gets older, it is important to expand the child’s circle of acquaintances and more often give him instructions related to communication with peers and other adults. At the same time, the child’s self-confidence should be strengthened. But we must remember that a child imitates adults in his behavior and actions, and try to set a good personal example for him.

No one demands perfection from parents, everyone has the right to make mistakes, but many of them could be avoided if they first solved their personal problems and problems of family relationships. Difficulties family relations should not serve as a reason to justify their own inattention to their own children. A clear understanding of such a decision in the future will benefit the mental health of the child in the family.

Full awareness of their responsibility as a parent and educator has helped many parents solve the problems of their family and raise their children healthy in the psychological sense of the word. Children, feeling first of all love in their parents, finding support and understanding, go through the crisis moments of their lives much easier. The following point needs to be monitored: how adequate is the parents’ attitude to the child’s age, and whether the requirements are appropriate for his age.

Children and adults need a family; at any age, you want to be loved, waited for, enjoyed communicating with him, helped in failures, proud of successes. In addition to the recommendations given in the work, we carried out parent meetings concerning the upbringing of the only child in the family (see Appendix 2), and a memo for parents has also been developed (see Appendix 3).

Conclusions on Chapter III

So, the purpose of the experimental work is: To consider the attitude of parents towards the child and to identify the degree of parental care for the child using diagnostic techniques. In experimental work we carried out diagnostic techniques, such as: test questionnaire identification parental attitude to children" and the test "Parents' care for the child"

According to our research, we found that families with an only child are characterized by such parenting styles as: family idol, overprotectiveness (12.4%), and crown prince (9.3%). In the majority of families in the classroom, excessive parental care of children prevails (40.3%). These are mainly families with an only child, which confirms our hypothesis that if a family is raising an only child, then this type of upbringing prevails in the family: overprotection.

This dependence on parents does not contribute to the formation of interests and self-esteem in the child, and also does not develop the child’s ability to make decisions independently and bear the burden of responsibility for them. In this regard, we have developed recommendations for raising an only child in a family.

Often, each parent tries to make their only child prodigy, thereby loading the child to the limit. However, overprotection does not allow the development creativity. On the contrary, taking for granted the care and attention of others, the child can “get stuck” in the illusion that the present is only what the other person guessed and insisted on. In general, “Mom knows best what I need.” The result is a socially immature personality, susceptible to all sorts of more or less harmless manipulations.

Practice shows that parents of only children have different attitudes towards the need to set clear boundaries for their children. If an only child is surrounded only by adults from birth, he comes to kindergarten or school with low potential social adaptation in a society of peers. And if, moreover, a little man, accustomed to his exclusivity, tries to “build” his peers, bitter disappointment can leave a serious imprint on his future “career.” Children probably instinctively anticipate something like this. They often desperately miss the company of equals.