Senile infirmity - treatment with traditional healers. How to help older people? It's easier than you think How to help older people

Just five years ago, 40-year-old Vera was afraid of her mother - she was always very strict and sharp-tongued. However, Vera knew for sure that her mother could solve any problem, evaluate any person and any situation, always maintaining calm and a healthy outlook on things. Mom dressed smartly, regularly visited the beautician and scolded Vera for being “lax and soft.”

Now everything is different. Vera is forced to control her mother’s every step: has she eaten, put on a skirt, turned off the gas, taken pills, or hidden a cup of tea in the nightstand. In just a few years, a powerful and intelligent woman has turned into an awkward and ridiculous old woman who can put on a nightgown, beads, a hat and in this form go out into the street, and she can wander there until midnight. In the end, after another complaint from neighbors, Vera had to move her mother to her place because she was afraid to leave her at home alone.

“The most terrible thing,” admits Vera, “was realizing that my mother, whom I had known all my life, was gradually disappearing. She still remembers that I am her daughter, but she is already confused about the events of her life and mine... And I struggle with the irritation and shame that I often feel for her in front of my friends. And I feel terribly guilty for these emotions.” It was especially difficult for Vera when her second child was born. She decided to hire a nurse for her mother, but this turned out to be beyond the family budget.

If an elderly person is left alone for a long time...

• Hang on the wall a sheet with the necessary telephone numbers - relatives, neighbors, the clinic receptionist, a local social organization (with the names and surnames of social workers, if they provide assistance).
• Take the time to meet social workers in person - it is better to know them in person.
• If you know that old man hides important papers and money in “hiding places”, talk to him, ask him to show you these places and explain that in an emergency, every minute spent searching for documents is valuable.
• Have copies of your pension certificate, savings book, home ownership certificate, etc.

Vera is not alone in facing such problems. Aging parents require more and more attention, and their children, who already have their own families, are torn between the needs of the old and the young. According to sociologists, there are now about 30 million elderly people in Russia, and 4.5% of them are over 75 years old. About a third of all older people admit that they often find it difficult to care for themselves, and 31-40% of those over 80 suffer from dementia.

Today, not everyone can afford the services of a permanent nurse. In Moscow, for example, it will cost 1200-1500 rubles. per day plus travel expenses. The constant presence of a nurse (live-in job) today costs at least 17 thousand rubles. per month. In addition, this market has not yet become civilized, and there is always the danger of fraud on the part of those in whose care an elderly person remains.

There is another option - a comfortable nursing home that will provide care. There are still very few of them, but they are appearing and in terms of comfort they are approaching their Western counterparts.

One of the most famous is the Nikolsky Park boarding house, which has been operating in Zelenograd near Moscow for three years. A beautiful building on the lake shore, specially equipped rooms, good food and constant medical supervision - all this will cost at least 1900 rubles. per day (when staying in a standard room).

Recently information appeared that the Senior Hotel Group company intends to attract investors and build about 25 luxury nursing homes in Russia in the hope that many will agree to pay 150 euros per day. In many Western European countries, moving from one's home to such a boarding house is not uncommon. Elderly people, afraid of loneliness and helplessness, sell their homes and move to a place where they will not be lonely and afraid.

• “To help an elderly person. Benefit for older people, as well as for those who care for them" K. G. Efremova, S. A. Anufriev and others.
• “Make your home comfortable if age fails you” D. Castoy
• “If your loved one suffers from mental illness” R. Vulis
• "Practical psychology of old age" M. Ermolaeva

However, even in prosperous England, where nursing homes are quite comfortable, doctors admit that about 8% of old people die in the first year of staying in a nursing home - chronic diseases worsen from stress and sudden changes in environment.

But you can help your parents live a happy old age without major expenses.

Many problems of the elderly arise not so much from age, but from a lack of understanding by others of a person’s needs, from unsuitable living conditions, from neglect of his capabilities.

Useful things

• SPYTEL security system with several functions: “Panic button” (call for help), “Babyphone” (you can hear in real time everything that happens in the room) and an alarm system that monitors the apartment using sensors in the absence of the owners. Price - from 13,000 rubles.
• Electronic medicine box HiTech Medical Box will remind you that it is time to take your pill. The required tablets are inserted into each compartment, and a timer program is set. The device will signal that it is time to take the medicine. Price - from 300 rub.
• Water temperature limiter HotStop in the shower or tap mixer will not allow you to accidentally get scalded. Most manufacturers have the limiter set to the most comfortable temperature of +38°C, but there are also models with individual settings. Price - from 1000 rubles.
• Cane SP-995 In addition to the main support function, it also has several others. A flashlight is built into the handle - it is turned on by pressing a special lever and illuminates the road ahead. For emergencies, the cane is equipped with a siren and a mini-flash. There are models in which the siren is activated when the cane falls to the ground. And finally, the cane has built-in shock absorbers to make it easier to move on uneven roads. Price - about 2500 rubles.
• Bath mat It is attached to the bottom of the bathtub with suction cups, so it does not slip. There are many notches applied to its surface, thanks to which a person feels more stable. Price - from 200 rub.

Health and physical well-being

When arranging the life of an elderly person, first of all you need to keep in mind the characteristics of the body.

• Visual acuity, especially peripheral, decreases. Therefore, an elderly person does not fix his gaze on objects well and does not see well what is on the side. Vision can deteriorate quite quickly, so it is very important to consult an ophthalmologist every six months. Twilight is the most unfavorable lighting, so during the day you need to open the curtains on the windows, and when dusk sets in, immediately turn on the lamps. Try not to unnecessarily rearrange or rearrange objects in the room where an elderly person lives, otherwise it will be difficult for him to navigate.
• Hearing deteriorates, and this greatly affects your overall well-being. The person begins to feel helpless and is easily irritated. If necessary, buy a hearing aid and periodically check that it works. During a conversation, do not turn away or cover your face with your hands. People with poor hearing often become accustomed to reading lips. Talk better in short phrases, lowering your voice if possible (low tones are perceived easier than high ones), and under no circumstances should you shout or rush.

What you need to know about benefits, discounts and compensation

In addition to official benefits for pensioners and disabled people (this information can always be found on the website of the Ministry of Social Health Development: www.minzdravsoc.ru), many commercial organizations enable older people to receive services cheaper.
• For example, in the capital's baths, pensioners are given a 50% discount one day a week.
• Almost all modern cinemas have introduced the practice of selling tickets for daytime and morning shows on weekdays, cheap tickets for pensioners (from 50 to 100 rubles).
• Few people know: since July 1, 2008, anyone who cares for an elderly person who needs care according to a doctor’s conclusion, a disabled person of group I, or who has reached 80 years of age, is entitled to compensation in the amount of 1,200 rubles.
• The sense of smell becomes dull with age, which is why food may seem tasteless and bland to an older person. To avoid this, you can add spices and delicious-smelling herbs to your food. A weakening sense of smell sometimes poses a danger: an elderly person may not notice the smell of gas, not feel the smoke, or eat spoiled food. Therefore, it is necessary to install smoke detectors in the apartment, a stove with a blocking system that shuts off the flow of gas to the burner when the fire goes out.
• Tactile sensations also change, people's ability to make small movements deteriorates - they awkwardly take objects, they can drop them, injuring themselves. Try to choose dishes with comfortable large handles, a comfortable cane, and stable shoes for the elderly person. However, older people really need touch - hugs, stroking, shaking hands. Doctors say that tactile contact maintains self-confidence and gives a feeling of being needed and in demand.
• A slow reaction to temperature changes, which is typical for old people, is dangerous - a person does not immediately feel a hot frying pan, too hot water in the bathroom, can stand barefoot on an icy floor for some time, etc. Just take care of this in advance, for example, by installing faucet with temperature limitation, putting carpet on the floor, buying pots with heat-free handles, etc.
• As you know, older people often freeze due to age-related heat exchange disorders, so they should have warm home clothes, good blanket. But you need to be extremely careful with electric heating pads and blankets - it is best not to use them while sleeping. The fact is that older people have problems with bladder(by the way, this is why the room where the older family member lives should be close to the toilet) and in the event of an unexpected “trouble,” a short circuit may occur. Insulate the windows, install radiators with thermoregulation (optimum temperature +21°C), and you will see how a comfortable “climate” means a lot to old people, they become less irritable and grouchy.
• Hair loss is very painful for older people, especially women - because of this, they often become depressed. You can try to improve the situation by changing your hair dye to a more gentle one, and changing your metal comb to a wooden one. If all else fails, buy the older woman a suitable wig. But in any case, frequent washing, combing, and haircuts increase self-esteem and improve mood.

In touch

• www.pensioner.vollar.ru Virtual school for inexperienced Internet users. Helps you navigate the Internet and select information based on your hobbies: books, gardening, travel, etc.
• www.seniorinfo.ru Collection of useful links, documents, coordinates of social organizations.
• www.seniorschool.spb.ru “School of the Third Age” is a virtual part of the St. Petersburg club of the same name.
• www.sta-net.ru is a site with the motto “The best half of life.” Articles, tips, useful documents and links.
• www.3vozrast.ru - dating, articles, search for joint hobbies.
• www.eons.com is one of the largest worldwide sites designed for communication between older people. Suitable for those who know English, German, French.

Mental mood and health

The main fear of an elderly person is expressed in one word - “uselessness”. Even with ideal care, people who do not feel involved in society, family, or loved ones fade away very quickly. Hence the conclusion: it is necessary to involve a person as actively as possible in everyday family affairs, to keep him performing simple duties for as long as possible. This is important both for maintaining mobility and for mental balance.

At the same time, older people quickly get tired, easily lose the thread of the conversation, and forget what was discussed. Therefore, if you turn off the TV or stereo system while talking with them, mutual understanding will improve.

The older a person is, the more difficult it is for him to be in a large society: he gets lost, sounds merge into a uniform hum, against the background of which it is difficult for him to grasp the meaning of the conversation. Therefore, several people visiting at once can be a disaster for an elderly person. Talk face to face - you will help the old person feel much calmer.

Forgetfulness in the elderly becomes a real problem. Very often it becomes the first symptom of dementia (dementia). This process can be slowed down if you understand the mechanism of short-term memory lapses: a person perfectly remembers his wedding day, describes in detail the birth of his first child or the end of the war, but cannot give a confident answer whether he had breakfast today. Experts say that memory is similar to a fenced-off section of a field in which there is a gate. The information that passed through the gate remains in place, but the gate closes - and nothing else can get in. Therefore, do not scold an elderly person. Say: “You already had breakfast today,” but don’t add: “Don’t you remember?”, this can upset him for the whole day.

By the way, many hairdressers offer discounts for seniors - ask about this at the salons closest to your home. In the capital, a decree of the Moscow Government provides for social assistance to elderly people living alone - in addition to apartment cleaning, changing linen and nursing services, services include hair washing, hair cutting and styling. If the pensioner’s income is less than 150% of the official living wage, these services are provided free of charge, you just need to write a statement to social services.

When the disease intensifies, explanatory signs attached to objects, devices and room doors will help. If a person begins to confuse days of the week, months and dates, this will help tear-off calendar, photographs of family and friends with large signatures, hung on the walls. Try not to change your usual stop - even changing the covers on the bed can confuse an old person; he will not know where to sleep.

Irritability and moodiness can have many causes, from uncomfortable clothing to feelings of dependence. Try to provide the elderly person with more independence and self-sufficiency, as long as he does not cause harm to himself.

The less he decides and does on his own, the faster his dementia will progress. Encourage intellectual activity - crossword puzzles, board games, reading newspapers and books, helping grandchildren with homework.

Alzheimer's disease: how to live with it

• difficulty finding words in conversation;
• deterioration of short-term memory;
• serious difficulties in making independent decisions;
• a person gets lost easily, especially in an unusual environment;
• disorientation in time;
• initiative and motivation to act disappear, indifference and isolation;
• difficulty performing complex housework (for example, cooking);
• interest in your hobbies and other previously favorite activities disappears.

1. Establish a home that includes familiar activities, thereby relieving the patient of decision-making.
2. Give the opportunity to do what you love: work in the country, carpentry, knitting, etc. Any physical activity can slow down the manifestations of the disease.
3. Not drawing the patient's attention to his failures leads to stress for himself and, ultimately, to even greater problems.
4. Ensure safety in the house: remove piercing and cutting objects, household poisons and medications, turn off the gas, install locks on the windows, etc.
5. Do not change the usual arrangement of things in the house where the patient lives: do not rearrange the furniture, leave passages free, do not rearrange the things he uses.
6. Maintain communication with the patient, try to speak clearly, slowly, looking into the eyes. Listen to him, even if the stories seem ridiculous. Treat with respect and maintain the patient's self-esteem.
7. Avoid clothes with complex fasteners or small buttons, giving preference to elastic bands, Velcro, and zippers. Do not rush the patient when dressing, give him the opportunity to dress himself.
8. Try to cut food into small pieces, since in the later stages of the disease it can be difficult for a person to chew and swallow normally.
9. If the patient often loses things or accuses others of stealing, look for places where he can hide things. Keep duplicates of keys and glasses on hand. Hide the original documents: passport, pension certificate, property documents. Check trash cans before throwing away trash.
10. If a person leaves home, he may get lost and even go to another city. Make sure that you always have a note in your pockets with the address and telephone number of your relatives. Carry a recent photograph of the patient with you - this will make it easier to find him. Try attaching unbreakable mirrors to all doors; your own reflection in the mirror can distract from your intention to open the door.
11. Try to remain calm and not respond with aggression to aggressive behavior sick. Try to trace what causes his outbursts of anger, switch his attention to other, calmer things. 12. Do not reject the help of family members, do not shoulder the entire burden of care. Leave time for yourself and get rid of guilt if you go to the cinema, to a restaurant, to see friends. Don’t beat yourself up—Alzheimer’s disease affects people regardless of social status, education, or skin color.

Why you need to help the elderly.

There are many elderly people in our country. All sorts of sources and statistics talk about this, but everything is clear even without numbers. Judging by the way most of them live, it seems that the state did not at all expect to provide them with a decent, or at least close to normal, life. The pension is small, and there are practically no benefits left. Those who have children and relatives are luckier: they are not alone, there are those who will take care of them. However, there are many for whom a dog or a cat is the closest thing to them, but they can hardly be called helpers...

The tree is heavily rooted

IN lately We somehow forgot about the most important thing - mutual assistance, respect and veneration for elders, about such feelings as sincerity, selflessness, gratitude. In general, about the human, the eternal - about the soul. Most people strive to live for today, earn a lot of money, without looking back at anything, think only about their own good. But can a tree live without roots? Certainly not.

Today, many charitable organizations are very willing to help orphans, abandoned, and seriously ill children, while at the same time forgetting about elderly people who need such help no less. Why is this happening? Psychologists say that this is the so-called fear of old age: in people’s minds it is associated with something negative. People do not notice the problems of the elderly in order to deliberately distance themselves from this “terrible” old age. Old people feel it... And this feeling of being outcast even worse than the disease and lack of money. But do we have the moral right not to notice anything and to abstract ourselves?! No, friends. We must help the elderly. There is no one else but us.

Why do you need help?

So, you need to start by dispelling doubts in yourself once and for all about the need for any help for an elderly person. Some people wonder: why is it necessary to help the elderly at all? First of all, it is surprising that such a question arises in principle.

If only because in Russia there is simply no one to help a huge number of elderly people: according to 2012 statistics, a quarter of elderly people are lonely. Very often, old age is associated with illness, poverty, and the inability to take care of oneself. And another obvious problem of lonely people is loneliness itself, lack of attention and ordinary human communication. Each of us can help in some way, and just one smile from an elderly person is already so much! We have compiled a short guide for those who would like to help, but do not know where to start.

How you can help

However, you can also provide the simplest, but much-needed help, which will consist of attention to the person. For example, start corresponding with people living in nursing homes. At first glance it seems that this is very simple and not so important, but in reality everything is different. Yes, it’s not difficult to send one letter, succumbing to a momentary impulse of altruism, but it’s much more difficult to constantly maintain correspondence with stranger. Finding information about such houses is easy: it is freely available on the Internet.

What to talk about?

Yes about absolutely everything. Just start talking about yourself: who you are, what you do and are interested in, what music you listen to, what books you read. Ask about the tastes and preferences of your interlocutor. Turn to his experience and wisdom, ask for advice on how to act in this or that life situation. And even if you don’t listen very carefully to his recommendations, an elderly person will be extremely pleased to feel needed. Psychologists recommend attaching a photo of yourself to the first letter.

However, let's leave the letters aside. Look outside, into the courtyard of your house. Surely you will see a bored pensioner on a bench. Go up to him, just say hello, talk about this and that, listen to him. Believe me, this will be a good memory of the past day for him.

What you can't talk about

Remember the main rule: the best is the enemy of the good, or, in other words, do no harm. Of course, there are topics that are better not touched upon. There are no special recommendations in this matter. You just need to listen to your heart and be guided by culture, respect and a sense of tact. For example, if a person has recently lost a significant other, you should not constantly tell him about your happy love. He will certainly be happy for you, but frustration and bitterness of loss will take over.

If you take up correspondence, keep in mind that they will not always answer you: many older people find it difficult to write.

Active help

If reasoning, communicating and writing letters are not your thing or you simply don’t have time for it, there are other options for helping older people. For example, you can contact specialized funds and become a volunteer. There is always a need for those who are ready to talk to old people, sing with a guitar for them, take them for a walk (many cannot walk and therefore have not been outside for years) or simply drive a car. The most important thing is to want to help, and you will certainly find something to do.

Again, returning to what and who surrounds us. Doing a good deed for an elderly person is much easier than it seems. No matter how trivial it may sound, it is unlikely that anyone will refuse help in buying groceries and delivering them to their apartment. Clean up the apartment? They will be very grateful! Helping people get to monuments and places that they themselves are not able to reach is also a good thing. In general, if you want, you can always find an area to apply your sincerity.

I want to help with money

Let’s say you don’t have time for business, or even for conversations, but you want to help and have the opportunity. What to do and where, in fact, to donate funds?

First of all, you can transfer money to the same specialized organizations and funds, the details of which can easily be found on the Internet. They have different shapes to transfer funds, so it will be a matter of five minutes. Whatever fund you transfer money to, remember: it is better to donate modest amounts (literally 100 rubles each), but regularly. Then philanthropists will be able to plan their budget, and the help will become permanent.

Meanwhile, many of us are haunted by the doubt that the money sent will not reach the recipients. It’s such a painful time today—not supported by moral principles. What can be done? Help with food, things, and goods needed by older people.

As for doubts about the organizations accepting charity, before sending any amounts, read how to understand whether to trust a particular company. The general and most important rule is this: everything should be transparent.

Now about necessary things: Many institutions lack diapers, medicines, nappies, hygiene products and other things. And the bed linen is most often so washed that lying on it is unpleasant. Complete lists The necessary things are also available on almost all charity sites.

Instead of an afterword

Unfortunately, it so happens that in our country the most vulnerable group of citizens today are the elderly - especially the lonely, frail, and seriously ill. Respect for them is perhaps one of the the most important principles humanity and morality. Therefore, it is very important not to turn away from their problems, not to turn a blind eye, but to help - completely and unselfishly. You will be rewarded, have no doubt. What is a small thing for us becomes a great value for the elderly. And it takes very little - to be a little more attentive, kinder, nobler. It's simple. But it's very important.

Tasha Berezhnaya.

According to WHO, more than 40% of people over 50 years of age are diagnosed with senile depression. Moreover, women suffer from it twice as often as men. Depression in itself is a very serious mental disorder, and when multiplied by the characteristics of a decrepit organism and the nuances of the age-related psyche, it completely develops into a huge medical and social problem. Unfortunately, it is often unsolvable. And yet such people can, and most importantly, should definitely try to help.

CAUSES AND SYMPTOMS OF SENILE DEPRESSION

Of course, the main cause of depressive disorders in older people is the steadily deteriorating state of health and the associated fear of serious illness and death, the fear of becoming a burden for children, and the fear of losing oneself. When vision, hearing and memory fail, legs and arms refuse to serve, and the bedside table is completely covered with medications - there is something to become depressed about.

Second key reason- loneliness and pain of loss. Many dear people died, children moved away, about work and the past social status only memories remain. There is more than enough free time, so sad thoughts about the end, loneliness, missed opportunities, uselessness constantly creep into your head... This is how depression happens.

At the onset of the disease, older people complain of insomnia, loss of strength, Bad mood. Further, depression, as a rule, manifests itself in gloominess, irritability, old man grumbling, and tearfulness. If such people are not helped at this stage, their condition can deteriorate catastrophically: severe anxiety, depressive delirium develop, short-term motor excitement is replaced by long period lethargy, thoughts of suicide appear.

HOW CAN DOCTORS HELP?

Psychotherapy rarely helps people with senile depression, which is due to complex age-related changes in the psyche that are difficult to correct. The combination of psychotherapy with the use of modern antidepressants gives the best results, but often the use of such pharmaceuticals is limited due to their conflict with other drugs. medicines, which are typically taken by older people to treat chronic diseases.

In severe forms of senile depression (complete refusal to eat, suicidal behavior, etc.) and ineffectiveness of conservative treatment, electroconvulsive therapy is the most effective. But it also has many contraindications, so it cannot always be used.

Based on the foregoing, it is extremely important to consult a doctor in the early stages of the disease. Only in this case complex therapy turns out to be quite effective.

HOW CAN YOUR FAMILY HELP?

In fact, relatives and friends can help people suffering from senile depression much more than doctors can. Their main tools are: genuine interest, attention, care and a lot of patience. You also need to be very sensitive. You can’t just say to a sick person “Smile!”, “Don’t be mopey!” or “Get busy!” Not only will such calls not work, but they will also worsen depression. Help should be unobtrusive, thoughtful, and delicate. People with senile depression cannot be treated with soul-saving conversations and instructions; you need to carefully find for them a new (or revive an old) goal or interest in life and force them to come to their senses.

This will help:

Regular physical activity. Exercise, long walks in the fresh air, Nordic walking, hard work in the garden or vegetable garden. All this will not only distract you from bad thoughts, but will also improve your health, which will automatically improve your mood. The main thing is that it is not boring to study - together with children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren or peers.

Constant communication. Whenever possible, talk to your elderly loved one. In person, by phone, Skype. Write letters and SMS. Bring your grandchildren or great-grandchildren more often, have family dinners at a large noisy table, take them out to a cafe, cinema, or just in public. Be sure to entrust him with some simple tasks, each time emphasizing how he helps you and how grateful you are to him. When an elderly person feels needed and loved, depression will not come closer to him.

Dancing. According to scientists, this is one of the best medicines for depression. Waltz and tango therapy is especially helpful. Dance together, sign up an older person for a dance club, find a partner. And it will bloom.

Favorite hobby. Anything that will distract, bring pleasure (and possibly additional income), and make an elderly person happy and needed.

There are two peaks of loneliness in a person’s life: one occurs at adolescence and with its end subsides, the second - at an age that is called the third. But unlike Russia, in the West active old age is considered the third age. The key word is “active”. Not so long ago, they began to distinguish a fourth age, at which the activity of the elderly declines. In Russia, old age is traditionally considered a stage of an unconditional decline in activity, and often even a transitional period from maturity to death. Retirement is perceived as a disaster. It is abroad that old people get a second wind, they begin to travel and finally do things that they could not afford while they were earning money for their old age. In Russia, historically things have developed differently.

Country of extremes

“My generation (30-35 years old) now often thinks about saving money for old age. They discuss how and where to open an account and what to invest in. Because they understand that it is impossible to survive on retirement,” explains existential-humanistic psychotherapist Stanislav Malanin.

The generation over 40 years old has fewer such conversations - these are those who have not yet raised their own children, but already have elderly parents who cannot live on their pension. They have more expenses and are unable to save for their old age.

“In Russia, decadent moods and extremes prevail. Either I work, I am active, I am interesting to others, or no one needs me - I went to die. We are afraid of old age,” says the psychotherapist.

Often caring for the elderly comes down to standard functionality: feeding, washing, clothing. But is that all they need?

It is also not customary for us to delegate the care of old parents to others. They will be torn between work and caring for the old man, forgetting about own life. This is a cultural code brought up over more than one generation. The social institution of support for old age is not developing either from the state or from private structures.

“What do you associate with the words “nursing home”? Bedsores, weakness, degradation, poverty, abandonment, meaninglessness. And also loneliness. In our country, nursing homes are institutions that have either been deprived of state attention, have low funding, or accept the elderly at a price that most Russians cannot afford. The maximum that we can afford is to hire a nurse for our parents, and then only when it’s really bad,” says Stanislav Malanin.

Often caring for the elderly comes down to standard functionality: feeding, washing, clothing. But is that all they need? Is this the only thing that will keep them in a state of active life and maintain the desire to live?

Loneliness threatens health and life

Presented at the 2017 annual conference of the American Psychological Association, the results of two meta-analyses showed that loneliness may pose a greater threat to human health than obesity, and even rivals smoking in terms of harm. Brigham Young University psychology professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad shared these findings with her colleagues.

The first of two meta-analyses included 148 studies and data on more than 300,000 participants. He found a 50% reduction in the risk of early death among people with more social interaction. The second analysis included data from 3.4 million people from 70 studies and found the impact of social isolation and loneliness on mortality. These criteria increased risk to levels similar to or greater than obesity. Researchers are convinced that loneliness leads to sleep disturbances, increased levels of stress hormones, and a deterioration of the immune system. Any of these factors carries a greater risk of morbidity and mortality.

Holt-Lunstad believes the risk can be prevented by helping older adults lead a more active and socialized lifestyle. Instead of scrolling through social media, seniors can opt to join social clubs or plan get-togethers with neighbors, she said. Doctors can also play a role in warning older patients about the risks of loneliness and ways to combat its effects.

In some cases, countries that are facing a loneliness epidemic (not just Russia) are taking steps to make people feel less lonely. In England there is a telephone hotline for older people where they can call and talk about anything and for as long as they want.

While the older couple lives together, the partners are not alone. But as soon as one of them leaves this world, the second quickly “deflates”

“In Britain there is another interesting program called “Befriending”. It includes special classes, getting a dog or cat, volunteer work, one-on-one communication with a volunteer who regularly meets with a lonely person, says Stanislav Malanin. “The first results showed a moderate improvement in depression and anxiety scores.”

An experiment was conducted to eliminate loneliness in people of the third age in Russia. The experimental base for the study was the Social Service Centers of the Oktyabrsky, Leninsky and Sovetsky districts of the city of Tambov. A total of 172 people took part in the pilot study at various stages. An original program to support the elderly “Golden Age” was developed and a club of the same name was created. The program was designed for 36 lessons, conducted over 4 months, meetings were held once a week. Participants in the experiment were engaged in various activities - from literary evenings before the performances are staged. And, according to the author of the scientific study, candidate of pedagogical sciences Olesya Pachina, as a result of the diagnostic techniques The following results were obtained: the subjects' level of life satisfaction increased, the ability to establish close emotional contacts with people, goals in life appeared, activity and naturalness of behavior increased.

In many European countries, such a service as a visiting friend is common. In former times in Russia it was called “companion”. This is a person who comes at certain hours, talks, walks, plays some games, can help buy something, can also provide medical services - give a massage or an injection.

This service is in great demand in Russia. We really have a lot of lonely old people, even if they have relatives. While the older couple lives together, the partners are not alone. But as soon as one of them leaves this world, the second quickly “deflates.” It is rare for an elderly person to regain social activity. Therefore, it is important for loved ones to support older people. But is it possible to fill the loneliness of another if he himself does not strive for this?

Live communication is the key to defeating loneliness

“I often work with the elderly. As a rule, at the first meeting they are wary and watch closely, but at the second they begin to open up. And by the fourth or fifth, I already become the one to whom they can tell and trust anything,” the psychotherapist shares.

Regularity and guarantee of meetings are important here. Even the loneliest person can be gradually brought out of social isolation. It's a matter of habit, the expert says. “It takes 10 days to form a habit. It takes another 20 days for it to standardize and develop itself. The full cycle of developing a new habit is 40 days. What does it mean? For example, you visit your elderly mother on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Subconsciously, an elderly woman will try to occupy the intervals between meetings with something, so that the day of the visit comes sooner. She will look forward to these meetings.”

After 40 days, she will learn to occupy herself on her own, without your participation. But it is very important to follow this routine. Only then will the old man’s life gain structure, meaning and vision for the future. But this is precisely what many older people do not have. If it is not possible to come three times a week, you can agree to alternate visits with calls. This will also be live communication.

It is necessary to restore damaged social ties. No old friends? A person can find new ones at any age

What can you do during your visit? To be for another. Don't teach him about life, don't scold him for being weak and not wanting anything, but just be there - a listener, an entertainment partner, a sympathetic friend. To those who respond to his emotional state, who respond to the thirst to be listened to.

Can an elderly person help himself in the fight against loneliness? Yes, quite, says the psychotherapist. “The simplest option is to remember what you liked to do most. This is something different for everyone - some like to walk, some like to sit on a bench and watch passers-by, some like to play checkers. You need to remember those feelings and repeat them, if not in the same activity, then in a similar one. Did you love going to nature, but now you don’t have the opportunity? Then we can go for a walk in the park.”

We also need to restore damaged social connections. No old friends? A person of any age can find new ones. Meet someone in the same park, start a conversation in a museum, or find a club of similar interests - chess clubs still operate in the same parks. You can sit down and watch or participate. Children and grandchildren will help you find places for new hobbies. They would be more happy to take their grandparents to a meeting of felting or drawing lovers than to another doctor or pharmacy.

When thinking about old age, the last thing we dream of is being alone. In practice, everything often turns out exactly like this: elderly people, forgotten by their children and grandchildren, are often forced to spend 24 hours a day alone with themselves. It is not surprising that many of them suffer from deep loneliness, against the background of which diseases develop, sometimes fatal. How can you help a person and rid him of this feeling?

What does constant loneliness lead to in adulthood?

Not all residents of inexpensive nursing homes feel abandoned. But those who are unlucky with relatives and who are not spoiled by their visits sooner or later withdraw into themselves, cease to be interested in the outside world and feel their own uselessness. For example, a new hobby can help bring back your zest for life. It is good if, even before retirement, a person has a clear idea of ​​what he plans to do if he is left without work.

Having hobbies and like-minded interlocutors will help you develop a positive attitude towards the world around you during this difficult period of life, experience optimism and learn to fight through sadness. One can only sympathize with those who did not manage to find their place in the sun in retirement, who did not have hobbies and interlocutors: in addition to the feeling of loneliness, they face serious health problems and no positive prospects.

What are the reasons for loneliness in older people?

• Death loved one, for example spouse. After this event, you can plunge into despondency for a long time and never get out of this state. Some emotional background accompanied by the desire to leave this world after the departed.
• Change of residence also causes unpleasant feelings. Finding yourself in even the best paid boarding house for the elderly without the support of relatives, a person feels empty and loses his zest for life. The same thing happens if he moves to live outside the city after a busy life in the metropolis.
• Retirement. Happy new beginning life stage a person does not know what to do and feels unclaimed.
• Communication exclusively with old friends and relatives the same age. If after retirement a person does not make new acquaintances, it may seem to him that life has stopped, and then loneliness is just a stone's throw away.
• Reluctance of relatives to maintain contacts also inclines to dark thoughts.
• Serious illnesses and other health problems, which we now often have to deal with on our own, only add fuel to the fire.

How can I help?

Of course, attention and care for older people will somewhat change the situation for the better, but sometimes this is not enough. New acquaintances, new impressions and pleasant communication “on the side” will help to establish a favorable emotional background. The interlocutors can be either equally lonely neighbors or visitors to hobby clubs. The main thing is not to scare off a person as they get older, because at this age people become fearful and very conservative. Not every one of them is open to new acquaintances.

If a person does not reject technical innovations, perhaps the Internet will help him cope with loneliness: with the help of the World Wide Web it is much easier to organize acquaintances and simply communicate. Take time to find something he likes to do besides watching TV shows. A hobby should use your hands or brain, that is, be active. Offer your mother or father crossword puzzles, knitting, cooking interesting dishes - take an active part in their fate, and they will never feel lonely!