Why is it bitter at a wedding? Why do they shout “bitterly” at a wedding? Go away, evil spirit

Such a bright, joyful, important event as a wedding always leaves the most pleasant impressions not only on the newlyweds, but also on their parents, friends, and loved ones. After the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds and guests happily begin the feast. It is so customary in our country that a wedding celebration is not complete without a lot of toasts, fun games, and traditional ones.

Often, even at the beginning of the feast, the most interesting thing happens - persistent cries of “Bitter!” begin, they come from different ends of the table, and become choral. This “disgrace” can be stopped with only one action - the bride and groom must stand up and show everyone their sweet kiss. The tradition of shouting “Bitter!” at a wedding is interesting, but strange - many shy brides don’t like kissing the groom in front of everyone. Many modern couples simply do not understand why they shout “Bitter!” at their wedding. and they believe that newlyweds are obliged to jump up and give each other kisses.

Why is “Gorko” at the wedding?

There are several versions explaining what “Bitter!” means. at the wedding. The most plausible tradition is considered to be one that has Russian roots; it is associated with folk festivals. In those days they got married in late autumn, the festivities were noisy, with a lot of fun. The groom, as usual, had to prove his dexterity. A slide was poured in the courtyard of the house where the celebration took place, or not far from it. The future wife and her girlfriends carefully climbed to its top, and her husband had to climb the hill as quickly as possible and kiss his beloved. After this, the groom's friends also climbed the hill to kiss the bridesmaids. The groom was obliged to run up the slippery path to the screams of the guests, they shouted “Slide!” This is how the play on words “gorka-bitter” turned out.

Another theory explains the appearance of such a wedding custom by the superstition of our ancestors. They were very afraid that insidious evil forces (witches, brownies and other evil spirits) could easily ruin the holiday and even the family life of the newlyweds. In order to deceive the representatives of evil forces, the parents and everyone who was at the wedding shouted “Bitter!”, as if proving that they all lived “cannot be worse.” According to legend, devils and various evil spirits, unable to withstand such grief, had to get away as quickly as possible and go to those who had a sweeter life.

Another legend tells that during feasts in Kievan Rus, the bride was obliged to go around the tables, holding a large carved tray in her hands. There were glasses of vodka in a row on it. All the guests invited to the wedding put coins and gold there, and then took a glass of vodka, shouting “Bitter!” By the way, this custom has survived to this day - in some villages in Russia this is exactly what they do.

Hundreds of years ago at weddings they shouted “Bitter!”, as if declaring that the wine in the cups and cups was not sweet enough. The newlyweds were supposed to magically “sweeten” the wine of their dear guests with their numerous sweet kisses.

This cheerful wedding tradition was adopted by many peoples - Moldovans, Belarusians, Bulgarians. The word "Bitter!" Guests at weddings in many countries of the world continue to shout in many languages ​​of the Slavic group with pleasure. Of course, some newlyweds still don’t understand why they shout “Bitter!” at the wedding and are reluctant to kiss in public - this is their right. However, the glorious ancient traditions should be respected and preserved, passed on to future generations. The tradition of shouting the wedding “Bitter!” - just one of these important and valuable ones.

The custom of shouting “Bitter!” at a wedding has purely Slavic roots; it is not accepted among other peoples. Moreover, in mixed marriages, when the bride is Russian and the groom has Eastern roots, guests from the bride’s side are warned about this in advance. Their national etiquette is very strict regarding the chastity of the bride. The maximum that is possible is a modest kiss in the registry office.

This applies not only to the East, but also to European peoples. The custom is also absent at gypsy weddings. The traditions of Russian weddings are surrounded by a lot of signs, many of which have not even survived to this day. And what came through was transformed into completely different things and explanations.

What is this connected with?

The cry of “Bitter!”, which provokes the newlyweds to kiss in public, is a distinctive tradition of Russian weddings. We all know well that the main wedding period in Rus' was autumn, after the end of the harvest and all field work. There was simply no time to get married at any other time.

As a rule, this coincided with the first frost. Therefore, for wedding festivities, they built an ice slide, along which the groom climbed to the friendly cries of “Slide!” This is one of the versions.

A more plausible explanation is that girls were often married off without their consent. The marriages were unequal and unhappy for them. Shouts of “Bitter!” could well foreshadow a bitter fate, which was already known in advance. Moreover, according to the rules, the young wife was prohibited from visiting her parents for the first six months. All wedding folklore in Rus' was permeated with sad lyrics, if not outright crying.

They shouted “Bitter!” at a wedding to deceive evil spirits. Especially when lovers who received the blessing of their parents for marriage joined together. This was a rare happiness at that time.

Later, they began to kiss while the guests screamed as a sign that in the future family the couple would resolve any controversial conflicts amicably and with respect for each other.

Over time, the meaning of “Bitter!” changed dramatically and became an expression of joy and happiness.

Now many couples are abandoning this custom; many are embarrassed by the mere thought of kissing in front of everyone. This is a little strange - our age is not distinguished by chastity. But the trend has already begun. Maybe this is for the best.

1. Agree with the presenter to shout “Bitter!” in a humorous manner. at your wedding paid. The people will laugh and calm down.
2. A modest kiss is enough for the ceremony. It will look touching and at the same time official, within the bounds of decency.
3. After any toast, you can replace “Bitter!” to "Hurray!" and don't kiss at all.
4. Draw signs and decorate them with the inscription “If you are sad, kiss your neighbor.” Place them on the tables along with place cards.
5. Pack any jam into small jars and give it to those who are especially persistent, who are always “bitter” at a wedding.

And one more killer argument against the wedding tradition of shouting “Bitter!” Russian researcher Vladimir Shemshuk, after lengthy studies of ancient traditions, made a sensational conclusion - initially in Rus' the cries of “Bitter!” were not accepted. The ancient Russians already understood then that this could spell trouble for the newlyweds. It was customary to shout “Sweet!”

Apparently, modern youth, who consciously refuse this ritual that appeared from nowhere, are returning to their roots. Thus, he joins the peoples of the Caucasus, the East, the gypsies - everyone who values ​​purity and chastity. These nations are even distinguished by their good health. And moral principles, by the way.

Whether our youth are right or wrong, time will tell...

Wedding traditions are interesting and diverse. And in particular, there is a custom of shouting “Bitter!” at weddings. Why is this done, and for what reason should the newlyweds kiss at this moment? There is no clear answer to this question, and in order to get closer to the answer, it is necessary to consider ancient traditions. They contain a lot of wisdom.

Shouting “Bitter!” taken after a toast, then the newlyweds must kiss. The tradition came from Ancient Rus'; today it is followed not only by Russians, but also by Ukrainians, Belarusians, Moldovans, and Bulgarians.

Versions - why you need to shout “Bitter!”

There is no single version explaining this custom to this day. However, there are still several options. So, in the past there was a tradition of saying “Wine in a glass is dirty” at a wedding; these words were spoken after wishing the newlyweds happiness. After pronouncing them, the young people kissed, because it was believed that a sincere kiss cleanses the wine and makes it sweeter. Further, these words were transformed into a cry of “Bitter!”, when instead of wine, vodka often began to appear on the tables.

There is also another version, which says that in the past the bride had to go around each of the guests personally and offer each of them alcoholic drinks from a tray. The guest was supposed to respond by putting money or another gift on the tray. Drinking vodka from a tray, the guest said: “Bitter!”, and the bride symbolically kissed him. This tradition can still be seen today and is practiced in villages.

Interesting fact: there is a third version, according to which the cry “Bitter!” symbolizes sadness that a girl's or bachelor's life is ending, and guests regret it.

"Bitterly!" - so as not to jinx the young

People have been thinking for a long time that it is impossible to share joy; this has developed into some customs. So, it is not recommended to talk about your successes or brag about your assets. A wedding is also not a reason for boasting, because someone may envy the bride or groom and bring grief to their subsequent life. Some people think that the cry “Bitter!” came precisely from these beliefs. This cry was supposed to inform envious people and evil spirits that not everyone here is happy, and therefore there is no point in envying or harming. If you demonstrate at the ceremony that everyone is happy, this will certainly activate evil spirits and envious people - this is what people thought in the past. This is where the tradition of shouting “Bitter!” came from.

Interesting:

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Cross out the past negativity

There is a version that when shouting “Bitter!” it is possible to throw out all the past negativity that could have accumulated both in the past of the bride and groom separately, and within the framework of their premarital relationships. Also, this cry was supposed to throw out subsequent negativity, which would manifest itself after the wedding. After all, the moment of marriage is an important milestone in life, after which the bride was supposed to move to the groom’s house, everyone had to give up some past habits and get used to the new state of affairs. Having thrown out their bitterness at the wedding, the newlyweds could more easily go through the difficult moment of establishing their new life together - this is another explanation for this tradition.

Interesting fact: when kissing after shouting “Bitter!” It is customary to count to one hundred. It is believed that the longer a couple kisses, the longer people will live together.

The tradition of shouting “Bitter!” at weddings these days

This tradition has existed for more than one century; today it is difficult to say in what era it originated. And today, not all people know why they do this, but the tradition turned out to be so strong that they rarely abandon it. Someone says that in the past, guests praised the vodka poured for them in this way, or, on the contrary, scolded the wine provided to the table. It will be extremely difficult to understand the details today.

There are several options for explaining where the wedding custom of shouting to the newlyweds came from: “Bitter!” In this post, you will find out what an ice slide, a glass of wine and evil spirits have to do with it.

Explanation #1. Gaming

As you know, in the old days in Rus', weddings took place in winter or at the end of autumn, when agricultural work ended, there was time for fun, and the bins were filled to the top.

The day before the matchmakers arrived, the bride's parents built an ice mountain in their yard. During the matchmaking, the bride climbed to the very top along with her girlfriends. The groom had to demonstrate his strength and dexterity by climbing the mountain with his friends. When he succeeded, he could kiss his beloved.

The young man’s friends also did not go without a reward - they kissed the bridesmaids, after which the whole noisy company, shouting “slide,” rolled down. At some point, “gorka” turned into “bitter.” But the custom of kissing young people remains, which, of course, is not surprising.

Explanation No. 2. Glass

According to another version, the tradition appeared at a wedding feast. The bride had to go around all the guests with a tray with a glass of vodka or a glass of wine on it. Guests who tasted the drink had to respect the bride with the word “bitter!” This is how they proved that they had not been deceived, the drink was real and, moreover, delicious.

Guests were allowed to put money on the tray, so they declared their desire to kiss the bride, and they had the right to do so. This is a unique way to “sweeten” the drink.

Over time, the custom has changed: now only the groom can kiss the bride, which is correct. But guests at weddings still like to get a little rowdy and shout “bitter!”

Explanation No. 3. Conciliatory

According to the third version, when the newlyweds kiss while shouting “bitterly,” they demonstrate to all guests that in the future they will resolve unpleasant, controversial and “unsweetened” moments with love and without conflicts.

Explanation No. 4. Magical

In the old days, superstitions were very common. It was believed that evil spirits strongly disliked the happiness of the newlyweds and their guests, they were terribly jealous of them, and they had some kind of insidious plan to destroy other people’s joy.

Therefore, the guests tried with all their might to portray misfortune: the bride and groom were not so happy about their wedding, and for those invited, everything was completely ugly and tasteless. Our ancestors believed that if the spirits heard the word “bitter”, they would understand that they had nothing to do at such a wedding, everyone was already feeling bad without them, and would pass by.

Explanation No. 5. Gorky

At any wedding, even the most cheerful one, there are reasons for sadness. Newlyweds leave their parents and separate from them. Parents accompany their children into adulthood. Therefore, in a sense, there are reasons for crying “bitterly”.

In addition, guests may say that the food at a wedding is not tasty if the bride and groom are not having fun and showing their love to the delight of everyone. That’s why they shout “bitterly,” because after kissing it becomes fun and obvious that the holiday was organized for a reason, but on a truly important occasion.

A wedding is an ancient rite that, even after centuries, has retained many of its features. One of them is the tradition of shouting “Bitter!”, forcing the newlyweds to kiss over and over again. Moreover, replicas of “Bitter” can be heard both at large wedding feasts and at modern chamber celebrations. The Village decided to ask experts where this Russian tradition came from and how its perception has transformed over time.

Maria Strelova

historian-ethnographer

A Russian wedding is surrounded by hundreds of signs and superstitions, the violation of which, in the opinion of a Russian person, will lead to unhappiness in marriage. This is an ancient ritual, divided into several parts that have a certain order. Having reached the present day, it has been transformed in relation to the realities of modern times, but even now it has a number of traditional features.

The cry of “Bitter!” accompanying the kiss of the newlyweds is one of the distinctive features of a Russian wedding. This element has practically become a cultural phenomenon. The origin of the tradition is explained in different ways: there are both cultural and linguistic references.

Weddings in Rus' usually took place at the end of the agricultural season, because at other times of the year there was simply no time to get married. For the wedding party, an ice slide was built, on top of which the bride stood. At the cry of the guests “Gorka!” the groom had to climb up to the bride, which was not an easy task. Thus, the groom had to prove his love for the bride and his desire to achieve her at any cost. But this theory of the origin of the cry “Bitter!” can be refuted. The Moldavian wedding tradition has its own “Bitter!”, which sounds like “Omar!” and has nothing to do with the word “Gorka”. So it's probably worth looking for other explanations.

Another explanation is related to the Russian mentality and the peculiarities of family building in Rus'. The bride always had to obey her husband and mother-in-law in everything. To ensure a strong marriage, the newlywed was forbidden to visit her parents for six months. The girl was given away in marriage by her parents, with little regard for her opinion. Agree, it sounds quite scary - to go live with someone else's family, in an unfamiliar area, where there is not a single soul mate, you cannot see your relatives, and suddenly you will come across an evil mother-in-law. Plus, in Russia in the 18th–19th centuries, the practice of unequal marriages became widespread. Hence a huge layer of cries and sad lyrics dedicated to a seemingly joyful event - marriage. The bride dressed in white (in Rus', white has long been a symbol of both purity and mourning) and on the last night before the wedding she always sang laments for her freedom, saying goodbye to her home, family and friends. And at the wedding, the bride and her mother complained about their bitter fate, shouting “Bitter!”

Only several centuries later, when marriages began to be concluded by mutual desire, when the possibility of divorce arose, the function of registering a marriage was taken over by secular authorities represented by the state. Then the cry “Bitter!” finally became an expression of joy.

Gerda

toastmaster, host of festive events

I am often asked about this, so for some time now I have known several possible explanations. I like one of them more than others. The word "bride" comes from the word "unknown". That is, it is either a stranger, or one who does not know, does not know. In the past, girls, as a rule, were not asked for consent to marriage; they were often married off to a man completely unknown to them - this was almost a generally accepted tradition. The bride said goodbye to the house, experienced the bitterness of parting with her family and waited for a new unknown life. In turn, the groom also said goodbye to his bachelor freedom. Therefore, the guests at the wedding empathized with the newlyweds and urged the newlyweds to soften this mutual bitterness with a sweet kiss.

Some old customs are no longer understandable to modern people. That's why most people at weddings now accept the other version better. According to her, it’s all about the taste of the vodka, which must be drunk for the health of the bride and groom: the vodka is bitter, that’s why it’s “Gorko”. The bitterness of this drink should be softened by the young couple with a kiss in front of the guests.

There is another common version, popular on some thematic forums: according to the canons, the bride brings a glass of vodka to each of the guests, and the guest in response, wincing and saying “Bitter,” kisses the bride on the cheek. It is clear that previously only those closest to them kissed and the attitude towards such kisses was different. But now, few brides will be pleased to follow this custom: you never know who might pester you. That's why they don't present a glass like that anymore - now they just pour it out, stand at a common table and drink. Previously, wedding toasts were pronounced completely differently, but now this is becoming a thing of the past. They love to just constantly shout “Bitter!”, not once or twice, but also to count. This is how guests try to guess how many years the marriage will last, which is why it is better to kiss as long as possible.

There is a very beautiful version that “Gorko” is actually a transformed “Gorki”. Apparently, this refers to the process of ransoming the bride. Previously, people came to get married according to the calendar, and most often this happened not in deep winter, but on Maslenitsa. On certain days of the week, it was customary to go to different people for pancakes - for example, to your sister-in-law, mother-in-law. And on one strictly defined day they went to get married. If the bride was of marriageable age, then the bridesmaids met the groom on a specially built slide in the yard. One of the tests was to get the girls out of there. It is clear that when the guys pulled them off, they tried to kiss them, and the older generation allegedly shouted “Gorka!”