How to properly bury an unmarried girl? Do I need to wear a wedding dress? Funeral of an unmarried girl: how to organize it correctly? Why are girls buried in a wedding dress?

Death has always been shrouded in many mysteries and rituals associated with it. We are unable to find out why this or that person died, and the death of young people, who, it would seem, still have everything ahead, seems especially bitter.

The funerals of young girls, in particular, are accompanied by distinctive rituals: they are usually buried in white sundresses or wedding dresses. Where did this custom come from, what does it mean and is it necessary to bury unmarried girls in wedding dresses?

The history of “wedding” customs at funerals

Our ancestors also adhered to the custom of burying unmarried women in wedding attire. According to pagan beliefs, the soul of a deceased person who did not have time to marry her chosen one will remain homeless if the deceased is not buried in wedding dress.

However, there are other explanations for this phenomenon:

The color white in Rus' has traditionally been considered a symbol of moral purity. An unmarried girl was also considered “pure”, and her soul, according to the beliefs of the Slavs, was supposed to go to a mountainous place. That is why she was dressed in white elegant clothes - according to anthropologists and archaeologists, not necessarily wedding clothes.
Girls who passed away before their own wedding were considered especially unfortunate, so their relatives dressed them in wedding attire before burial, as if embodying an unfulfilled event.

How was the funeral of a girl in Ancient Rus'?

Even after the adoption of Christianity in Rus', people continued to organize unique funerals and memorials for unmarried women, stylizing them as a wedding: they dressed the deceased in ceremonial wedding dresses and jewelry, covered the table with a white cloth, and set out a lot of dishes for guests to treat. Frequent treats included large loaves of bread, poultry or fish dishes, ritual pies and stuffed pies, and wheat kolivo. Low-alcohol, naturally fermented drinks – berry wines and mead – brightened up the funeral atmosphere.

A young man with whom the deceased had a close relationship or, if there was none, one of the young residents of the village was invited to the gloomy celebration. It was he who took on the role of the groom, took a place at the head of the table and at the coffin of a young girl during the funeral procession.

The parents of the deceased wove wreaths from plants and flowers - one was intended for the girl, the other for the “groom”; the latter was thrown onto the coffin when it was lowered into the prepared earthen pit. There is evidence that instead of an invited groom, a large log or stone was often used, on which human clothing was put on. In remote villages of Russia such traditions are preserved to this day.

What about “bride”? She was dressed in white formal clothes, with elegant boots on her feet, her hair was braided and a wreath, kitschka or embroidered fabric tiara was placed on her head. Such clothing was supposed to give rise to bright associations and make the funeral less gloomy and sad. Mourners were rarely invited to them - on the contrary, guests sang folk and ritual songs to drown out the pain of loss.

Today, such traditions are a thing of the past, and it is not customary for unmarried girls to be buried in wedding dresses - a long white sundress or just elegant dress light colors.

The Orthodox burial ceremony includes a number of specific rituals. Depending on the gender, age, status and cause of death of the deceased, the burial procession may be accompanied by certain rituals. When grief comes to a family and the soul of an unmarried or innocent girl leaves the earth, the funeral should take place in the form of a ritual that bears some resemblance to a wedding ceremony.

There are several reasons why the funeral process for unmarried girls is carried out in a certain way. The following are considered the main ones:

the soul of a girl who never knew happiness family life, will be doomed to endless wanderings in the afterlife;

by dressing the deceased in a beautiful and festive attire, which all young people dream of, loved ones thus embody the dream of the deceased;

white color is associated with purity; it gives the event a mood of light sorrow. They bury girls in white dresses because they didn't know true love, which means they are brides of Christ.

In cases where a young couple dies without ever consummating the marriage, the deceased are also dressed in wedding attire. This is done with the goal that in the next world the souls of the dead will be inseparable. As a rule, a memorial complex is installed on a paired grave.

What to dress an unmarried deceased woman in?

Ideally, the deceased should be buried in a wedding dress. But if there is none, you can choose an outfit that resembles a formal dress. The vestments should be light colors and have a festive look. According to Orthodox traditions, the seams of the outfit cannot be sewn, you just need to baste the dress. It is important to baste by hand. When fastening the thread, hold the needle forward from you. This ritual is explained so that the deceased does not return for any of the family members.

Light-colored shoes or boots should also be imitation: as a rule, shoes for the bride of Christ are made of fabric, not leather. Placed on the ring finger of the right hand wedding ring. It is customary to leave hair loose, and a veil or wreath is placed on the head of the deceased.

Features of the funeral ceremony

Our ancestors adhered to one important tradition when burying unmarried girls. Among the young people who came to the funeral, a guy was chosen as the groom of the deceased. The young man had to walk behind the coffin during the ceremony. Today, the role of the groom of a deceased girl can be assigned to a fruit tree or stone. In this case, put on the stone/wood men's hat or a wedding wreath (the same as the bride's). After burying the body, the wreath is thrown into the grave or hung on a cross.

Then those present go to the house of the deceased, where the wake takes place. To make the funeral ceremony reminiscent of a wedding, solemn songs are often sung and even dances are performed. Baked specially for the occasion of the funeral wedding loaf, which is treated to those present. The loss is truly difficult and incommensurable, but always remember that you should not cry and grieve a lot. Thus, you can bring about a new misfortune and cause suffering to the soul of the deceased.

Death loved one- incomparable grief. It is the responsibility of loving relatives to organize a dignified burial. The body must be washed and ritualized according to religious customs, if the deceased was a believer. According to the Orthodox rite, it is customary to bury the deceased in a certain outfit and special shoes. Items that, according to church canons, will be useful to a person when meeting with the heavenly judge must be placed in the coffin. Next, you can read in more detail about what clothing should be for a funeral and what needs to be given to the deceased when seeing him off on his last journey.

What is it customary to bury men in?

Traditionally, men who wore a military uniform during their lifetime are usually buried in their ceremonial uniform. In this case, the clothes should be put in order, cleaned and ironed. The body of a civilian is dressed in a suit and a light shirt. It is not customary to wear ties and belts according to Christian canons; this is a rather secular custom. However, if the family feels that a tie is necessary, they can add it to the deceased's outfit. As for the color scheme, it is customary for older people to be buried in clothes dark tones. These are blue, brown, black. Younger men can wear light-colored clothing: beige or light gray.

The rules strictly determine what clothes men are buried in, according to Christian rites. For the deceased you need to select:

underwear (panties and cotton T-shirt),
shirt,
trousers and jacket,
socks,
tie.

Shoes for the deceased deserve a separate discussion. It should be comfortable and a couple of sizes larger so that swollen limbs can easily fit into the shoes. Lace-up shoes are not worn for dead people. It would be better if the model has elastic side inserts.

The most budget option there will be special slippers intended for burial. Contrary to popular belief, they do not necessarily have to be white; black or brown. From the point of view of the Christian religion and the Orthodox faith, it is precisely such shoes, light and with thin soles, that are most suitable for a person to set off on his final journey to meet the Lord.

To dress a deceased man in the morgue, you may need a towel, soap, a pack of cotton wool, cologne, and a razor. If the deceased person used dentures, they must also be provided to the employees of the institution. This must be done immediately, before the body is embalmed. After treatment, it will be impossible to insert an artificial jaw. The deceased's mouth is sewn up so that the face does not become deformed.

What are women buried in?

According to long-established tradition, many elderly men and women prepare their clothes before death, freeing loved ones from unnecessary troubles. And rightly so, relatives will have more time to take care of the soul of the deceased. However, not everyone thinks about death in advance, especially if the person has not yet reached a certain age. In this case, those involved in burying the body are faced with the question of what kind of clothing to choose for the deceased.

There are certain rules regarding what clothes women are buried in, but they are not as strict as for men.

A lady can buy a dress or suit. The main thing is that the model is sufficiently closed, and the skirt reaches the middle of the calves.
The head of the deceased is covered with a scarf, a scarf or a special shroud. The latter looks like a cape with a hood. It is usually sewn from white fabric, decorated with lace.
Outerwear is traditionally chosen in light, soft shades. It can be pink, lilac, blue, white, peach, turquoise. Decoration with embroidery, lace, contrasting collars and cuffs is allowed. The model should have a front closure and long sleeves.
The woman wears simple underwear, a shirt, and cotton stockings without elastic bands.
Choose comfortable shoes, without heels, with soft soles. It should not have buckles or other decorations.

If a young unmarried girl dies, believers say that she will become the bride of God. The Christian tradition of young ladies who died early in wedding dresses echoes the rituals of the ancient Slavs. The priests add that for such an outfit the girl must be innocent. However, it is a personal matter for parents to decide what outfit they should choose for their beloved daughter who died untimely. The deceased's jewelry and veil are not worn, the hair is left loose, and is not covered with a scarf. The dress style chosen is discreet, with long sleeve and a closed gate. Underwear should be modest; stockings and flat shoes remain a mandatory element of the outfit.

What do children bury in?

It is customary for infants who die unbaptized to be dressed in long white shirts, similar to baptismal shirts. However, it is not prohibited to dress a child in a dress or suit; blue for boys, pink for girls. The baby's head is covered with a cap. Older children are dressed in smart clothes. It is not necessary to wear a headdress, but Orthodox parents put scarves or lace caps on their daughters.

It is not necessary for the deceased to choose a new outfit, but it is necessary to ensure that things are intact, clean and ironed. When choosing clothes for the deceased, you need to take into account that the body swells, so you will need clothes a couple of sizes larger. The same applies to shoes. Most restrictions are related to the shade of the dress or suit. Outfits of bright colors in the clothing of the deceased are undesirable. Light colors close to white are preferable, which in Christianity is associated with spirituality and purity of thoughts.

It is not customary to bury the dead in red; it is believed that in this case one of the blood relatives will follow. According to signs, you cannot give your things to dress the dead. Their former owner may become seriously ill. You should not put your photo or wedding ring in the coffin. This has a negative connotation and, according to esoteric experts, may not have the best effect on future life.

What else is put in the coffin?

The deceased does not need ordinary things, but some items are usually placed in the coffin according to Christian rites.

The deceased person is always left with a handkerchief. It is believed that a person will use it to wipe sweat from his forehead at the Last Judgment.
If you bought extra clothes for the deceased, this also happens; it is better to put them in the coffin.
A believer is put on a pectoral cross; it should not be silver.
A crown is placed on the forehead, the body is covered with a church veil (veil), and a pillow is placed under the head.
Some people collect their favorite things, talismans, and glasses for their relatives on their last journey.
Children are often left with toys.
Along with the deceased, they put the comb that was used to comb his hair, and the ropes that held his legs and arms. This is not prohibited by religious canons, but it is not very welcome either. The Church views this as prejudice.
The deceased's awards, if any, are carried at the front of the ritual procession on special pillows. But you shouldn’t put them in a coffin for safety reasons. The grave can be plundered by looters who want to profit. The same goes for expensive items and jewelry.
Before the coffin is nailed up, relatives take away the icon that is in the hands of the deceased. It is customary to display it on the funeral table, and the rest of the time to keep it on the iconostasis.

The death of young unmarried girls coincided in earthly life with marriageable age, with a turning point in earthly life - marriage. This served as the basis for comparing and combining the funeral with the wedding.

Not only Russians, but many peoples had the custom of dressing a girl who died in the prime of her youth in a wedding dress, preparing her for burial, like a bride for a wedding. At the funeral of the deceased girl, they even imitated the wedding ceremony and sang wedding and wedding songs. Both the girl and the guy put a wedding ring on the ring finger of their right hand, while a married man and married woman no rings were put on.

Nowadays, there is also a custom of burying young girls in, and drinking champagne at their wake, simulating a failed wedding. It was as if the clothes were not real, but only a replacement, not sewn, but only basted. It was necessarily sewn by hand, and not on a machine, the thread was secured, the needle was held forward; otherwise the deceased will again come for someone to his family. The shoes of the deceased were also imitation: in leather shoes, as a rule, they did not bury it, but replaced it with cloth. In cases where boots were put on, the iron nails were pulled out of them.

Currently, in the custom of burying people in new, unworn clothes, there is an echo of the belief that the newness of the clothes of the dead is synonymous with purity, sinlessness of the soul, which should appear pure in the next world.

I’ll say right away that this will be a real Friday the 13th post, creepy and scary. But despite this it is strictly scientific. All photographs are taken from the website of the Department of Ethnography and Museum Studies of Omsk State University (ethnography.omskreg.ru/page.php?id=1020).

We will talk about the wedding ceremony of the dead. All photos will be under the cut, it is strongly not recommended for impressionable people to look!

So, the Germans maintained the ceremony of marrying the dead for a long time. This is what T.B. writes about this ritual. Smirnova.

The custom of “Totenhochzeit” among the Germans of Siberia
Field studies carried out in Siberia indicate a very widespread custom of "Totenhochzeit" ("Wedding of the Dead") among the German population up to the present day. Materials on funeral rites and customs were collected in ethnographic expeditions starting in 1989 in the southern regions of Western Siberia. The general scheme of "Totenhochzeit" is as follows: in the event of the death of a girl, she is treated as a bride, dressed in a light dress, and a wedding wreath with a veil - Rosenkranz - is placed on her head. Deceased unmarried young men were dressed in a wedding suit - a decoration of flowers and ribbons - Strauss - was attached to the lapel of the jacket on the left side. This custom is explained by the fact that marriage is obligatory for any person. Therefore, if he did not have time to start a family during his lifetime, he needs to go through this stage before the funeral. Distinctive feature This custom among the Germans is the complete absence of age limits for dead brides and grooms. If in most nations the ritual of posthumous marriage is arranged for girls and boys of the age at which it is customary to get married or, at least, those who have reached puberty, then the Germans have no age restrictions. The Germans in Siberia organize “Totenhochzeit” for everyone who is not married - from infants to old maids and single men of any age.
In the materials of the expeditions, in addition to oral information about the obligatory burial of young people in wedding clothes, there are photographs depicting such funerals. It is possible that the long-term preservation of the custom of “crowning the dead” among the Germans of Siberia is associated, among other reasons, with the role assigned to the wreath in wedding ceremony. Required element German wedding is the ritual of removing the wreath from the bride. Among the Germans of Siberia, this custom is widespread to this day. Previously, after removing the wreath, it was customary for the bride to put on a cap; later, instead of a cap, they began to use a scarf, but the ritual itself did not actually change. At midnight, the newlyweds are seated in the center of the room. The guests stand around and sing a song (as a rule, it is a song about beautiful youth “Schon ist die Jugend”). The preservation of the wreath in the wedding rite resulted in the preservation of its meaning in the funeral rite. But, of course, the main reason for the long-term preservation of the custom of “crowning the dead” among the Germans of Siberia is the preservation of the archaic in conditions of isolated development.
T.B. Smirnova, 2008

1. Funeral of an unmarried woman. The deceased was a virgin, therefore, despite her age, she was buried in a wedding dress and wreath. D. Nikolaypol, Isilkul district, Omsk region.

2. Funeral of a single man. On the chest of the deceased “Strauss” is a wedding decoration made of flowers and ribbons. S. Grishkovka, Altai Territory. Late 1920s

3. Funeral young man. The coffin is filled with flowers, and there is a wedding bouquet on the deceased’s chest. The girl sitting next to him was the deceased's fiancée. Omsk. 1941

4. Funeral of a young girl. A deceased woman in a wedding dress and wreath. In most cases, they were buried without shoes, because “you need to go to heaven barefoot.” S. Gladen of the Altai Territory. 1957

5. Family funeral. The boys have wedding bouquets on their chests, the girls have a wreath on their heads. On the left is the father of the children, he is in ordinary clothes. S. Kusak, Altai Territory. 1950s

6. Funeral of a 7-year-old girl in a wedding dress and wreath. S. Novoskatovka, Omsk region. 1995

7. Funeral of a 7-year-old girl in a wedding dress and wreath. Around the coffin are children saying goodbye to the deceased. S. Ananyevka, Altai Territory. 1965

8. Boy's funeral. Flowers at the head of the deceased. S. Novoskatovka, Omsk region. 1954

9. Funeral of a 3-year-old boy. On the chest of the deceased is a wedding bouquet with short ribbons. S. Khortitsy, Omsk region.

10. Funeral of a boy, age - 9 months. There is a bouquet without ribbons on the chest of the deceased. Flowers at the head. S. Khortitsy, Omsk region. 1964

11. Funeral of a girl in a wedding wreath, age - 6 months. D. Ekaterinovka, Altai Territory. 1970s

12. Funeral of a girl, age - 1 month. The wreath is worn over the cap. S. Khortitsy, Omsk region. 1980s