A drawing on the topic of a belt is not a method of education. You are my punishment! Parents' meeting "You don't need to raise children - you need to be friends with children"

1. If we want a child to be polite, we need to be polite to the child ourselves.
2. It is important for a child to know what disobedience can lead to. Promises of punishment and reward must always be kept and not left as an option.
3. It is worth remembering that only through rewards is it possible to build mutual understanding with a child.
4. You cannot evaluate a child at the time of punishment. You need to talk exclusively about how you feel and how you feel about the action.

10. Do not hover over the child, position yourself so that you are at the same level with him and look into his eyes. This is the only way you will be sure that he understands what you are saying.

Dear parents, remember that both punishment and praise should be done immediately, and not postponed until later. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it. The sincerity of an adult will give rise to the sincerity of a child and strengthen your union.

Good luck to you in the difficult task of raising your beloved child!

Municipal educational institution gymnasium No. 1

Psychological service

or reward and punishment

as methods of education

child

2011

Often parents who use physical punishment on a child say: “He doesn’t respond to anything except the belt. He’s asking for a belt.” And no one can admit that they take it out on a child when they feel bad. They feel powerless and don't know what to do. Hitting is faster and easier than understanding and listening; beating does not require thinking.

Punishment as commonly used is not an educational method, but a humiliating and humiliating procedure that can lead to problems in the future. And that's why:

1. Punishment makes children hate themselves and others. They don’t like themselves when they are punished, and they develop low self-esteem.
2. When punished, children do not learn to do the right thing, but only look for ways to avoid punishment. They learn to be cowardly and dishonest. Fearing that they will be caught doing something bad.
3. Punishment teaches children that there is something wrong with them. If a child lacks love and attention, then by bad behavior they will strive to get at least a little of this attention.
4. Fear increases with each blow of the belt, if the children do not understand the reason for the punishment. The repetition of bad actions suggests that children do not know what their mistake was.

Punishment is a very difficult thing, it requires caution, so we recommend avoiding punishment if possible. As a last resort, some types of punishment can be allowed: delay of pleasure, delay of pocket money, prohibition of going out with friends.

Encouragement is a positive assessment of a child's behavior. It evokes positive feelings and a desire to continue working. There are a wide variety of forms of encouragement: a smile, an approving look, praise, awards, gifts.

As with punishments, you also need to be careful with rewards. There is never any need to announce any rewards in advance. It is better to limit yourself to praise and approval.

Rules for requiring obedience

The child does not know the rules well, the parents gradually teach him and control his behavior. There are many dangerous things in the world that parents should warn their children about. Putting forward certain demands.

There should not be too many requirements for the child; they must be correlated with the child’s age. In order for a child not to violate the requirements, he must hear and understand them, so you need to be able to correctly place demands on the child.

1. Requirements must be unambiguous and understandable.

Incorrect: “Don’t play around.”

Right : “Sit quietly for 5 minutes.”

1. The requirement must be appropriate to the age and capabilities of the child.

Wrong: ask the child to sit quietly for 30-40 minutes.

Right: offer an interesting activity.

1. It is better to give simple requirements that do not consist of several more. In this case, it is better to separate them into parts and present them separately.

Wrong: “Clean up the room.”

Correct: “Wash the floor.”

1. Requirements should not contain the particle “no”. It is necessary to communicate what he should do, and not what he should not do.

Incorrect: “Don’t play around.”

Right: “Do this.”

1. You need to make demands calmly, without shouting or setting conditions.

On a new approach to solving the problems of social orphanhood and ill-treatment Chairman of the Board of the Foundation Marina GORDEEVA told journalists about the situation with the children.

- Actually high level It is recognized that the topic of orphanhood and cruelty to children requires special attention today,” began Marina Vladimirovna. — Society asks questions: how to change the situation? Why is the number of orphans, if declining, not as significant as we would like? There are more of them today than in 2000. This means that there are some basic problems that do not allow us to solve this problem. Funds are being allocated. But a fundamental change does not occur! More than 120 thousand such children are identified every year. The number of deprivations of parental rights is growing - in 2009 in Russia, 72 thousand children had their parents deprived of parental rights! Many children end up in orphanages immediately after birth. An increase in funding for solving problems of families and children in traditional forms (benefits, summer holidays, maternity capital and others) did not produce the desired effect in reducing the number of orphans. Today there is an understanding of what we need. Firstly, preserving the blood family for the child and preventing parents from abandoning their children. Secondly, the introduction into practice of new social technologies aimed at preventing family troubles. It sounds a little dry, but we understand: effective technologies are needed not only in the economy and production, but also in the social sphere. Our approaches have been focused on ill-being, it is time to shift the focus to prevention. It's easy to say. But if we look at how everything happens in life, we will see that everything is tailored to a neglected case. And specialists must understand that they will in no way replace parents for a child. They are only to help the family, to support. The third priority is the placement of children left without parental care in foster families and their professional support.

In search of these new paths in social work and the President decided to create a fund to support children in difficult life situation. August 25 marked two years since we registered our charter and started working. The mission of the foundation is to create a new management mechanism that, with the division of powers between the federal center and the constituent entities, will significantly reduce the social disadvantage of children and families with children and stimulate the development of effective forms of work. Unlike other charitable foundations, we do not work with requests from citizens or organizations; we co-finance regional programs that are aimed at achieving systemic changes in the situation of families and children, as well as projects of municipalities and non-profit organizations. It is important for the foundation that programs and projects are comprehensive and can be replicated. Equity financing. Regional programs receive at least 70 percent of their budget from the funds of the constituent entities Russian Federation and raised funds from partners from commercial and non-profit organizations. The foundation allocates 30 percent. For highly subsidized regions, 50/50 funding is provided.

Marina Gordeeva recalled the areas in which work is being done with the fund’s partners in the regions. This is the prevention of family dysfunction and social orphanhood of children, the restoration of conditions favorable for raising a child. family environment, family placement of orphans and children left without parental care. This social support families with disabled children to ensure the maximum possible development of such children. This is the social rehabilitation of children who have committed offenses and crimes, the prevention of neglect and juvenile delinquency. The Foundation is trying to reorient the activities of the regions and move from eliminating consequences to preventing difficult life situations among Russian children. The experience of the regions, in particular the Tomsk region, shows that this approach can significantly reduce the number of children left without parental care. Among the new technologies that are being introduced in the regions, Marina Vladimirovna named the following: case management, home assistants and individual tutors, support for families and specialist selection of correction methods at all stages of trouble, local social service, service psychological assistance in registry offices in order to prevent divorces and others.

“One of the most successful practices in the area of ​​preventing social orphanhood is being implemented in the Tomsk region,” said Gordeeva. — The Siberian Federal District has the highest in Russia specific gravity orphans in the total number of children - 4.13 percent. In the Tomsk region this figure is now at 2.98 percent. Before the start of the implementation of the “Children’s Right to a Family” program in 2008, it was 3.42 percent. This is already a noticeable trend. Progress is happening because the Department of Family and Children Affairs has built very effective work in the region. In 2009, a new specialization for social workers appeared here - “case manager”. The main task of the curator is to prevent family troubles and provide timely assistance to the family. By involving the family in the rehabilitation process, the curator, together with the family, finds a way out of a difficult life situation. By the beginning of 2010, 920 families were in their area of ​​attention. Of these, 443 are at an early stage family crisis. (We became acquainted with how case curators work and even with some families who have such curators at the Tomsk social rehabilitation center “Luch”. In total, there are 115 case curators in the region, employing 150 people.)

Separately, Marina Gordeeva focused on the problem of child abuse.

Today, she admitted, no department has the complete picture. As Moscow experts later complained, each one keeps its own statistics, the numbers vary, are duplicated in some places, and it is almost impossible to compare the data with each other. However, the fact that the number of crimes against children and adolescents goes beyond all conceivable limits is beyond doubt.

By the way, the most common (35,381 people in 2008) crime against children - malicious evasion of child support - is not formally related to child abuse. But in essence that is exactly what it is. According to Gordeeva, the scale of the disaster is underestimated, because the figures that are being made public are terrifying, but they are only the tip of the iceberg. While extreme forms of violence involving deaths are the subject of outrage, domestic violence is widespread. A study commissioned by the Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences noted: corporal punishment is perceived by a significant part of the population as the norm, 52 percent of parents use physical punishment.

To change the situation, the foundation, together with the Ministry of Health and Social Development and the constituent entities of the Russian Federation, was tasked with conducting a nationwide information campaign against child abuse in 2010.

“Her primary task,” Marina Gordeeva recalled, “is to promote the formation of an intolerant attitude towards violence in society.” Necessary early detection cases of abuse. You can't take things to extremes. Do not find "Mowgli" who were raised in a doghouse. This, of course, is a few, but this is nonsense! And if a problem occurs, then people should be aware of the possibilities of resolving the problem with the help of appropriate services. These can take different forms - from helplines to children's rights ombudsmen. It is important to overcome the indifference of adults - neighbors, teachers, specialists working with children, so that they also perceive messages about trouble. It is necessary to understand the situation as early as possible and help the family. It is even more economically profitable to invest in preventive measures than to later take the child from the family to government institutions. As part of the campaign, the foundation is holding a series of events. In March, the charity marathon “Childhood without Cruelty and Tears” started, which we conduct jointly with the Association of the Children's Products Industry. The first event made it possible to provide toys for children from the Vityaz social rehabilitation center in the Kaluga region. In May, children's goods were received by institutions in St. Petersburg, and on June 1 - in the Ulyanovsk region. At the end of the year, children's goods will be delivered to 37 social institutions from 18 regions.

On May 25, the Public Chamber hosted a presentation of the movement “Russia - without cruelty to children” and the Internet portal for parents “I am a parent” (www.ya-roditel.ru). President Dmitry Medvedev was the first to join the movement. Every interested citizen, organization, corporation, municipality and even an entire region can follow his example and report it on the “I am a Parent” portal. Joining the movement is supported by specific actions. In June, television began showing the video “The First Spank” - about how the spank that an obstetrician gives so that the child begins to breathe should be the first and the last.

In July we held the campaign “Belt is not a method of education.” Famous athletes, TV presenters, and pop stars donated their belts as a sign of support for the movement “Russia - no cruelty to children!” A special chest contains the belts of Daniil Spivakovsky, Yegor Konchalovsky, Igor Vernik, Yuri Nikolaev, Oleg Gazmanov, Alexander Oleshko, Svetlana Masterkova and others. From these belts, the designer will create an unusual art object, which will be given to the winner of the city competition.

The All-Russian Children's Forum “Children Against Cruelty and Violence” was held at the Orlyonok camp, the result of which was an open appeal from children to all adults about the inadmissibility of the use of cruelty. 2,443 children signed the appeal.

Elena KVASNIKOVA,
Tomsk—Novosibirsk.

The role of parents in a person's life is great. From them the child receives initial knowledge about the world and the first life experience. Parents are involved in raising children, but it is not possible without punishment and encouragement. There is a stereotype that physical punishment is the most effective method impact on children. However, as a rule, such punishment humiliates the child, convinces him of own powerlessness in front of elders, gives rise to cowardice and embitterment. Try to establish psychological contact with children in order to influence them without using force. I will be glad if my advice on how to do this will help you.

What parents should remember when punishing a child:

1. The child must be sure that the punishment is fair, that he is still loved, and even being punished, he is not left without parental love.
2. Children should not be deprived of satisfaction of their biological and physiological needs (they cannot be punished by deprivation of food and sleep).
3. The child must be informed about what offenses will be punished and in what form.
4. Punishment for children should be temporary (“you will lose the opportunity to play on the computer for three days”).
5. When punishing children, you should avoid insults and labeling.

For example, you shouldn’t call a child incompetent, a bungler, or tell him: “everything always falls out of your hands,” “Why are you standing like an idol,” etc. Only the behavior or specific act of the child is considered, and not his personality.

1. When punishing children, remembering previous offenses is excluded. You only talk to them about why he is being punished right now
2. Punishment of children should be consistent, and not from case to case.

Why can't you hit a child?

When you hit a child, you are setting an example that the child will follow as he grows older. Almost all of the worst criminals were regularly subjected to threats and physical punishment during childhood. It is the responsibility of parents to set an example of wisdom and compassion for their children.

In most cases of so-called "misbehavior," the child acts the only way he can in response to his needs being ignored. Such needs include, for example: adequate sleep and nutrition, fresh air, physical activities, as well as sufficient freedom to explore the world around him. But most of all, the child needs the close attention of his parents. CURRENTLY, FEW CHILDREN ARE GIVEN ENOUGH TIME AND ATTENTION BY PARENTS. For this reason, punishment is not only ineffective in the long term, but also unfair.

PUNISHMENT DOES NOT GIVE A CHILD THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN TO RESOLUTE CONFLICTS IN AN EFFECTIVE AND HUMANE WAY. A punished child becomes fixated on feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge. Consequently, a punished child will not be able to learn much of what is needed to manage and prevent similar situations in the future.

Physical punishment breaks the attachment that exists between parents and child, since a person cannot love someone who hurts him. The true spirit of cooperation and mutual understanding that all parents strive for can only arise when there is an attachment between people based on mutual feelings of love and respect.

PUNISHMENT EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS TO HAVE RESULTS, CAN ONLY ATTRACT SUPERFICIAL BEHAVIOR, BASED ON FEAR AND HAVING POWER ONLY UNTIL THE CHILD HAS GROWN UP AND IS ABLE TO CONSIST IT. In contrast, a partnership based on respect can last forever, leading to many years of mutual happiness as parents and child grow older.

WHAT ARE THERE METHODS OF EDUCATION WITHOUT FORCE?

Method of conversation or persuasion. This method can be used in raising children of different ages and with any character. During the conversation, the parent explains and argues how to behave in a given situation, and finds out the motives for the child’s behavior. The tone of the parent’s speech when talking should be calm, confident, and firm. Even one year old babies who cannot answer, listen carefully to the parent, reacting to intonation.

The time-out method is when the baby is left alone for a while, forbidden to do anything and without communicating with him. In families where time-out punishment is widely used, as a rule, there is a specially designated place where the child is left for a while, it can be a chair, a bench, a corner; once in this place, the child begins to understand what he has done bad thing and punished for it.

The penalty may be a fine. For a bad deed, you can take away one of the baby’s toys, you can prohibit watching cartoons or films, and reduce play time. DO NOT USE ACTIONS THAT A CHILD SHOULD PERFORM WITH PLEASURE AS A PENALTY. For example, make him read or write, clean the room, wash the dishes. This will lead to the child perceiving these actions as extremely unpleasant and avoiding performing these processes. A FINE CAN BE DEprivation of SWEET OR OTHER TASTIES (but not food) If a child has done something necessary and good, he should always be praised, expressed his gratitude, this could be a smile, a kiss, a hug, pleasant words“You’re smart, well done, you’re doing the right thing” or another action that evokes pleasant sensations and positive emotions in the baby. For example, a child washed the dishes, praise immediately after the process is reinforcement, and a promise to go to the park with him is a reward.

Method "1-2-3". Effective method education in situations where it is necessary to immediately stop the child’s bad behavior. The method consists in the fact that the parent makes a remark to the child about his behavior and begins to count to three; if at the end of the count the child does not stop behaving badly, punishment follows. The method is used with children over two years of age. By counting to three and making intervals between numbers of several seconds (4-6 seconds), the parent gives the child a chance to come to his senses, change his behavior and get out of the situation without punishment. If the child does not respond to the adult’s comments and continues to misbehave after the count of “3,” the punishment must be carried out. When using this method, parents need to remain calm and not lose self-confidence, the score must be clear, the voice must be confident, if the child understands that the parent is “on edge,” then he can continue his actions, in the hope that he will be able to achieve his goal.

Don't forget: children are for parents, and a belt is for trousers!

The issues of raising a child worry parents even before the child is born. They are trying to determine their line of behavior, wondering whether they should punish the child, if so, at what age, whether to use rewards and how often.

Belt as a means of education

In searching for solutions, parents rely on the experience of relatives, acquaintances, neighbors, turn to specialists, and remember how they were raised in childhood. The pressing issue remains the use of belts in raising children; the opinions of psychologists and educators differ here.

Some argue that the use of a belt is anti-pedagogical, others take its side. They assure that physical education will be beneficial and discipline the child.

Many parents use punishment when verbal persuasion has dried up. No amount of persuasion helps, and the parents grab the belt. According to psychologists, such actions are the lot of the weak, those who do not have speech abilities, mentally limited people. Raising with a belt humiliates the child as a person, often causing him great mental trauma.

Teachers urge parents to use the word in raising children, arguing that the belt is not a pedagogical method.

Looking back, everyone could admit to themselves that the desire to pick up a belt and spank a child arose at least once. For some it was realized, while others remained tormented by doubts, remembering pedagogical morality.

Is a belt acceptable in raising children? There is no clear answer to this question, although the majority speak out against it. The belt is not recommended as a method of education. Yes, with its help, the child begins to obey unquestioningly and fulfills all requirements. But as soon as you put the belt aside, insubordination returns, sometimes in a more aggressive form.

No one denies the need for punishment, but there is no need to immediately grab the belt. Try to convince with words, alternate punishment and encouragement. Remember that the ultimate goal is to develop the individual.

Is there any benefit to wearing a belt in raising a child? Certainly not. Scientists have proven the meaninglessness of physical punishment.

Raising children with a belt leads to:

• to a slowdown in development;
• children's emotionality decreases;
• The ability to think clearly often disappears;
• they adapt their behavior to the circumstances;
• inadequacy in actions is evident.

It has been proven that parental upbringing with a belt leads to intimidation of the child; a disciplined person grows up, but often does not have his own opinion, and is afraid to express his point of view.

Is it possible to strictly raise girls with a belt? Naturally, you cannot punish the baby in this way, however, indulging her whims is also not recommended. Look for an approach to it. If you hurt her feelings in such a trivial way, you will lose respect in her eyes, and the problem will still remain unresolved. Support and understanding from your mother works better than any punishment. Talk to her, explain what is wrong in her behavior, teach the girl with words.

Is a belt acceptable in raising sons?

This method of parenting shows your helplessness as parents. You need to influence your son with words, conviction, and even better, your own positive example. It is possible to achieve better results by talking than by beating. Using a belt, some believe that the baby will understand better this way, however, with each blow he understands less and less, he becomes embittered, his fear of his parents grows, which over time can develop into a fear of everyone around him.

At first, it seems that the belt in raising boys disciplines them, but this is a common misconception. It does harm emotional development child, kills him as a person.

Fatherhood education with belt video:

Do not raise children with beatings, use affection and kindness, then they will grow up to be a normal, adequate person, a comprehensively developed personality. Remember that violence begets violence.