What should I do if I don’t know how to communicate with guys, I’m very shy? How not to be embarrassed when talking to a guy

Hello, dear readers! When you meet nice guy it becomes so scary to destroy everything with some minor mistake. Say something wrong, do something wrong, behave somehow wrong. As a result, you become embarrassed, tense, and become something different. This seems even worse!

Today we'll talk about how to stop being shy about the guy you're dating. Many friends may find this strange. You're probably even a little embarrassed to bring this up. Fortunately, today you will learn everything you need to relax and become a little better.

Relax

Don't let the title of this chapter scare you. I understand perfectly well that you cannot just let go of your embarrassment. This is not required. Just understand that your feelings, emotions and sensations are basically normal. This should make you feel a little better.

The fact that you are shy shows you at your best. This means that you are already beginning to value this relationship. This is very good. What could be wrong with being in love with your boyfriend?

Shyness and embarrassment are common defensive reactions that make you look good. You are acting somewhat constrained, and a man cannot help but notice this. By the way, many people even like this. Modest women have always been held in high esteem by the stronger sex. You have nothing to worry about.

The guy understands your condition perfectly and it is his responsibility to make you feel better.

When embarrassment is bad

If you went out or even during the initial stage of the relationship (2-3 weeks), you may not do anything. In general, forget about the problem of embarrassment. Give a man a chance to prove himself and help you be more relaxed. Guys love to help weak and defenseless women. They will be happy to resolve your problem if they notice it.

Of course, if time passes and nothing changes, you even sleep with him, and the embarrassment does not disappear, this means that he is not coping with his functions, and most likely this begins to irritate him. You also need to get involved in the work.

If at first shyness looks cute, then over time it becomes boring. Everything should take its course. One replaces the others, and completely different ones take the place of certain feelings.

The man begins to feel the barrier between you. He couldn't get rid of it. He failed to cope with the problem and it bothers him. Remember that even if it seems to you that he did not try or did not do it intensively enough, most likely the man has a completely different opinion on this matter.

The man begins to accuse the girl of being uptight, secretive, etc. Such a relationship will not last long, even if he really likes you too.

Rules for dealing with embarrassment

Unfortunately, there is only one way to cope with embarrassment - by taking some action despite the fear.

The first step in your struggle will be the rule - “Take initiative.” If you are talking to a man and he has asked you out on a date before, it’s time. Of course you don't have to do it romantic dinner, just invite him to the cinema, for a walk in the park or ride horses. Start talking about what you want.

Ideally, you need to start telling more frank things about yourself, but it’s quite difficult to do this just out of the blue, as they say. Prepare for this moment. During the conversation, be more interested in some points, ask and clarify.

If you have already had experience in relationships, for example, you lived with someone, then remember what was the bravest thing in your life? If you have no experience, perhaps you have watched a movie and want to repeat the action of the main character. For example, you went to a concert and calmly climbed onto your boyfriend’s shoulders.

While at home, in a calm environment, think about what is best to do and decide to repeat a bold act that will open you up from a new side. Wait for the right moment, and then do something you didn’t dare to do before.

Perhaps you will dare to take photos together. A skilled photographer also combines the skills of a psychologist. He will be able to come up with successful shots for you that will liberate you. If you are afraid, you can try entrusting the camera to your boyfriend. You will have no choice and very soon you will run out of ideas for too constrained poses.

I can also recommend you a book that will strengthen your relationship and take it to the next level. Steve Harvey "Act like a woman, think like a man". In it you will find many tips that will definitely help you become a little better.

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What is embarrassment? This is, first of all, self-doubt! Start looking at yourself from a new, positive angle, and you will no longer wonder how to stop being shy.
Embarrassment is sometimes the most insurmountable problem in communication. And all because you don’t trust your interlocutor enough to say something unnecessary. If you are shy, the following signs will give you away: your hands are sweating, your speech is slurred, your face is flushed, your eyes cannot leave the floor, and generally you are not behaving as usual.

Where does embarrassment come from? You don't communicate much with people. Of course, you have a long-established social circle: parents, best friend, neighbors... But this list is very limited.

You need to make new acquaintances, even short-term ones ( For example, on the train, at a concert, while jogging). Then you will have the skills to communicate with unfamiliar people.

Imagine if the wind of change bursts into your calm, measured life and you have a boyfriend. Of course, you won't be able to trust him completely for a while. But you don’t need to be ashamed of him, otherwise your relationship is unlikely to last long.

Here are some reasons why you shouldn't be shy with guys.

1. A guy can also be shy, and you don’t need unnecessary barriers in a relationship.
2. He probably talked to other girls, and being shy can make you look stupid compared to them.
3. If it were your brother, would you really be so worried? Imagine that you have known each other for a long time, and the excitement will gradually pass.
4. And you yourself probably feel awkward, showing shyness. Be on top, get rid of your excessive shyness!

But, on the other hand, it is necessary everywhere and in everything look for the positives! Your shyness is an indicator that you are a sensitive, subtle person, capable of compassion and deep feelings. It’s just that everything in a person should be in moderation. And you also need to be shy in moderation.

I'll try to tell you how to stop being shy about guys.

• First, think carefully how would you like to see yourself when you talk to a guy. Imagine that you are writing a book about yourself, How would you describe the main character?
• You have already defined your image, now think about it, What will you need to implement your plans? Maybe it will help new hairstyle or the handbag you've been dreaming about for so long.
• Do what you thought was okay before absolutely unreal! For example, invite your boyfriend for a walk or tell him that you learned how to bake a cake using a new recipe and offer to try it together. Guys have a sweet tooth, he’s unlikely to refuse your offer!
• Surely, if you do all these steps, you will gain greater self-confidence. And then, cards in hand, experiment! Think about what else you would like and boldly realize your dreams. Your shyness will go away by itself!

How to stop being shy about the guy you like?

What to do if you like a guy, but you’re terribly shy? Believe me, the problem is not big, there is always a way out!

• Let's say that he is a university star, a regular at parties and all kinds of events. And you consider yourself terribly ordinary. Sign up for the university KVN team and prove yourself. Even though you are terribly scared, act! After all, often those who were quiet at school, it is in higher educational institutions that they show themselves. Make jokes more often, hang out with friends, and don’t forget that you want the guy to like you. By the way, don’t think that he is unattainable for you. In 9 out of 10 cases this is a fallacy.

You've heard that opposites attract, right? This is true, and if a guy is hyperactive, he may well like a cute quiet girl. But first he must notice you. Even if you already know each other, he may not perceive you the way you would like. So prove yourself so that the guy of your dreams notices you.

• And if you have already started a relationship with him, then you just need to stop being shy. And first of all for myself. Because you won't be comfortable, and you won’t be able to feel all the charm of the flower-candy period of a relationship because of your constrained thoughts and tightness of actions.

Tell him a story that is very important to you. Or show him a place you like to come to. This will definitely bring you closer.

• How can you stop being shy about a guy you just recently met, and you already like him? If you want this acquaintance to last, show yourself at your best. Stop being shy when meeting him, try to speak first, ask for something, invite him to an exhibition or flash mob. He will probably like this approach on your part.

Guys love active girls. It will be great if you introduce him to your friends and he will spend time in your company. This way he will understand what you are like, what you are interested in, who surrounds you, and most importantly: you will have common memories!

It will also be great if he takes you into his company so that you get to know his environment.

Then your relationship will probably be full-fledged, and you will not be embarrassed by him.

How to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy?

Let's say you are no longer shy, as when you first met, when communicating with a guy. You have a completely trusting relationship that is developing rapidly. But as soon as you got rid of some complexes, others appeared! You are ashamed of your own body and try in every possible way to hide its flaws under clothes. But you’re not a Muslim, you can’t wear a burqa. Just imagine how your boyfriend would react to such an outfit! In general, you need to get rid of this embarrassment.

And you will do this in one of two ways: physically or mentally.

Now I’ll explain and at the same time tell you how to stop being embarrassed to show a guy your body.

• If you are not happy with your figure (this is a very common case), We will correct it with the help of exercises. Let's say you think your sides are too saggy - do gymnastics! Take care of yourself dear! Just an hour of exercise a day and you will forget what you were embarrassed about.

One of my friends has a normal figure, but her stomach is quite large. If you have the same problem, then this is not a reason for despair. In such a situation, you need to pump up your abs so that your abdominal muscles are toned and prevent the appearance of fat folds.

• But while you're exercising, You need to continue communicating with the guy. You can’t tell him: “Sorry, but we can’t communicate until I give myself a flat stomach.” So it's necessary correct . There is one clever idea that until you learn to love yourself, others will not love you either.

What can you do to love yourself? Everything is simple here. When you wake up, be sure to look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say: “I am the most beautiful, the smartest, the most desirable, the most successful, the most elegant, the most attractive.” You can add what you want to hear. Take care of yourself: get your nails done, tidy up your eyebrows, buy what you've been dreaming of for so long. Don't be afraid to spend time and money on yourself.

Remember: The way you treat yourself is how your boyfriend will treat you.

• Put yourself in the guy's shoes. When starting a relationship with you, he didn’t say that your stomach was fat or your breasts were small. He consciously chose you, which means he likes you for who you are. Believe me, a girl may not have an ideal appearance, but her man will always love her just because she loves herself, she has a sparkle in her eyes! And vice versa: a model with complexes may not meet a person who will love her even with ideal parameters.

They love, first of all, for the soul, and not for the body. Of course, this does not mean that you should not take care of yourself at all; on the contrary, any girl is obliged to look attractive!

You just have to understand that in addition to the beautiful “shell” You also need to have inner peace.

Otherwise, what will you talk about with your boyfriend? I'll give you a personal example. My current boyfriend did not have long-term relationships with girls before communicating with me. I wondered why. He said there was nothing to communicate with them about. And here the 90-60-90 figure will no longer help if, roughly speaking, your head is empty. Education today will also help give you self-confidence.

I hope you understand that you shouldn’t be ashamed of your appearance in front of a guy. And in general, down with embarrassment! There are so many interesting encounters in life that you may miss because of your timidity. If your boyfriend invites you to go to the sea together or go to the pool, or anywhere else, don’t refuse!

Wear a bright swimsuit, a cute light dress and boldly meet new sensations! And, I wanted to add, you are probably too skeptical about your appearance. This is who we are girls. I am sure that you are young and very attractive, many guys admire you!

Just be able to notice this and smile more often!

Shyness is a trait inherent a large number people, but its excessive manifestation does not allow many of us to live a full life, to make new acquaintances, including with representatives of the opposite sex. , who are not experienced in romantic communication with guys, even if they want to take a step towards a young man, they do not do this and do not respond to advances. Shy representatives of the fair sex should remember that guys often think about how not to be shy with girls. Therefore, shyness should not be considered a vice, but it should not be elevated to the rank of virtue either. So you can spend a black and white life, watching from the side how brave girls enjoy the whole palette of colors. The problem of shyness can be solved, but it requires delicacy. First of all, you need to find out whether the girl is shy only with guys or is she timid with all people?

How not to be shy about people?

Among us there are many unsociable girls who are content with a long-established circle of friends: family members, their only friend, neighbors, an individual trainer from a sports club or a tutor... They are the ones who most often ask the question “how not to be shy with people?”

You can get rid of excessive embarrassment in front of people using the following methods:

stop delving into yourself;
think more often about your merits and successes;
remember that people are more worried about their own shortcomings, and they don’t care about strangers;
take into account that other people are sometimes shy too;
instill in yourself a feeling of confidence (at least 5-10 minutes a day) until it becomes habitual;
When communicating with another person, do not focus on yourself, but delve into the conversation of your interlocutor.

After working on yourself and noticing that these methods work, you can begin the second stage of the fight against shyness. To do this, you need to constantly expand your social circle, making new acquaintances wherever possible: on public transport, while jogging or walking your pet, at a performance, in queues. Then even an overly reserved person will gradually begin to loosen up and acquire communication skills with unfamiliar people. This will help you stop worrying and start living normally.

Why should you stop being shy about your boyfriend and how to do it?

At any moment, the calm and measured life of a young representative of the fairer sex can be interrupted, and the reason for this will be meeting the guy of her dreams. At first, the girl is unlikely to trust him 100%, but excessive embarrassment will also not bring any benefit - in this case, the relationship between the young people will end before it even begins.

You shouldn't be shy about guys for the following reasons:

There is a chance that the guy is shy too, and this is another obstacle in the relationship.
Most likely, the young man already has experience communicating with girls, against the background of which an overly timid chosen one will look at least stupid.
So as not to feel awkward.
If the same guy were the girl's cousin, would she be shy in front of him?

How to get rid of shyness in front of a guy: general tips

In order for the excitement to begin to go away little by little, you can imagine that the first acquaintance has already passed. But when you begin to eradicate shyness, you should not get too carried away, because this trait is an indicator that the girl has a subtle and sensitive nature that is capable of empathy and love.

You can overcome shyness in front of a young man in stages, in four steps:

First of all, the young lady needs to think: how would she like to see herself next to a guy; What traits would she give to the main character if she were writing a novel about herself?
Having decided on the image, you need to find out what will be required to bring your plan to life? Perhaps these are neat low-heeled shoes, thanks to which their owner will not feel like a “giraffe”. Or maybe it's a matter of stylish hairstyle, capable of giving a girl self-confidence? The list of options for getting rid of shyness in front of a guy is endless, so you need to approach this issue depending on your circumstances.
What about an act that previously seemed completely fantastic to our heroine? For example, you can, without waiting for a guy’s initiative, invite him for a walk, and during the walk also offer him a taste of a pie baked by the girl herself according to her grandmother’s recipe. A young man is unlikely to refuse such an offer, because guys are also lovers of sweets!
By following the first three points, the girl will become much more confident in herself. And then, calling on his imagination to help, he will begin to experiment. If your thoughts are busy with new ideas, and your time is busy with their implementation, then there will be no time to be shy!

How a girl can overcome shyness in front of a guy she likes at different stages of relationship development

How to stop being shy about a guy if the girl doesn’t know him yet?
In this case, it’s worth taking a closer look at where he most often happens. For example, this is a sociable person whom the entire university knows as an indispensable participant in all kinds of events and sports competitions. Perhaps he is a regular celebrant or local bard. In a word, a guy you like is the pride of the university.

What about the girl? She considers herself ordinary, gray, inconspicuous. In this case, she has no choice but to prove herself in something, to “shine”, so much so that she educational institution Many people noticed, including the activist I liked. You can enroll in the university KVN team, a creative club (theater, dance, etc.), and if you have musical talents and skills, in an ensemble. It often happens that former school quiet people reveal their inner potential to 100% in universities. When choosing an activity for herself, a girl should strive to be as close as possible to the chosen guy, but at the same time not take on a task that is “too much for her.” After all, in order to attract the attention of others, you need to do something, if not “excellent”, then at least “good”. The “recipe for shyness” will bring the desired effect if it is supplemented with the following “remedies”: witty jokes; increasing the circle of friends and acquaintances from a common environment with the object of adoration; radiant smile, irresistible appearance and other “feminine things.” And one more thing: under no circumstances should you doubt yourself, and then the girl will be able to suppress her shyness in front of the guy and even get to know him!

If a young man is hyperactive, then he may like a meek, quiet person. But for him to notice the timid admirer, she will have to make a lot of effort and even “jump out of herself.”

How to stop being shy about a guy at the very beginning of a relationship with him?
Here you need to try to find “common ground” as early as possible, that is, common topics for conversation and passion, and then the candy-bouquet period will not be overshadowed by constraint of thoughts and actions. An awkward pause at the beginning of a relationship with a guy can be filled with a story. interesting story. If by behavior young man it is noticeable that he is also shy (perhaps he, for his part, wants to understand how not to be shy with girls), then you can invite him to visit his favorite place. This will undoubtedly bring the couple closer; the girl will stop worrying and begin to live a full life, giving her chosen one joy and receiving it in return.

How to overcome shyness in front of a guy who you already like, but the girl has just met him?
For the acquaintance to be long-lasting, he must like the girl in communication. If, when meeting a young man she likes, she mumbles her phrases and timidly looks away, then such a couple most likely has no future. A representative of the fair sex should think in advance: what will she ask a guy she recently met (for example, what is his opinion about yesterday’s TV show?); what he asks for (perhaps you need help moving stands); where he will invite you (to an action, an exhibition, a disco, etc.).

How to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy?

It also happens that everything goes as it should: the girl confidently communicates with the object of her adoration, the relationship between the young people develops. But here, as luck would have it, the problem begins to “gnaw” at her: how to stop being ashamed of your body in front of a guy? Before this, the young lady skillfully hid her figure flaws under her clothes: her protruding belly was covered with spacious tunics; small breasts were “complemented” by the foam rubber of the bra; Cellulite thighs were hidden in the folds of a long skirt.

No one has yet solved the figure problem by wearing a “burqa” and “timidly hiding a fat body in the cliffs.” This requires a comprehensive approach, including diet, physical exercise and increased self-esteem. The girl needs to take care of the last point first, because the young man will not wait for her to lose weight and get pumped up.

To get rid of complexes, a girl can remember the first days of meeting a guy. After all, he consciously chose her and did not make any comments about her figure, even seeing a number of shortcomings (unfortunately, you cannot completely hide them under clothes).

What if you watch your friends? For example, Irina is an immense chubby, but so charming, witty, smiling and with a sparkle in her eyes! That’s why there’s no end to the guys. And Valentina, having a chiseled figure and an antique face, is always “in the background” because she is arrogant, boring and “empty”. Thanks to such observations, you can develop a line of your own behavior and not be tormented by how to stop being embarrassed about your body in front of a guy.

Embarrassment is the main obstacle to success of any kind, and even more so when it comes to relationships between the sexes. Don't be afraid to say a word for fear of seeming awkward. Any embarrassment can be turned into a joke and we can laugh together. It is important not to deprive yourself of the pleasure of spending time with the guy you like. To achieve what you want, you need to suppress shyness and take at least a small step towards your dream. Many sayings say the same thing: “An attempt is not torture”; “If you are afraid of the wolf, don’t go into the forest!”; “He who doesn’t take risks doesn’t drink champagne,” etc.

Young girls, just like boys, dream of finding their soulmate and building strong, harmonious relationships with their chosen one. But many representatives of the fair sex face a serious obstacle on the path to personal happiness - their own shyness and inability to communicate with men. Girls who are not different often not only cannot take the initiative in communicating with the young man they like, but also do not even know what to talk about with the guy if he started the conversation himself.

Contrary to popular belief that modesty and shyness are virtues of a woman's character, this is not the case. Of course, most men don’t like overly assertive, arrogant and unrestrained girls, but guys can perceive a lady’s excessive shyness and fear of communicating as a lack of interest. Everything is good in moderation, so in order to start a relationship with the young man you like, a girl should get rid of shyness and learn how to be interesting guy and freely communicate with him on any topic. And despite the seeming difficulty of achieving this goal, in fact, it’s quite simple to stop being shy with guys and learn to be interesting to them. To do this you just need to take three steps.

First step: getting rid of shyness in front of guys

Shyness and timidity towards members of the opposite sex always have its roots - namely, in those attitudes that caring mothers “drilled into the heads” of their daughters. “Men like modest and unapproachable women”, “a decent girl will never take the initiative first”, “modesty is the main female virtue” - these phrases have probably been heard more than once in childhood by every woman suffering from excessive shyness in front of men.

Also, often the cause of shyness is a girl’s lack of self-confidence, namely, her attractiveness and ability to interest another person. And in order to overcome shyness and understand how to stop being shy about guys, a girl needs to get rid of the two main causes of her problem, namely, harmful attitudes and And the following tips will help with this:

Step two: becoming an interesting and versatile personality

Girls suffering from excessive shyness think about this, but instead they should think about something else, namely, how to become an interesting person and love themselves. All people, both women and men, like those with whom they can spend interesting and productive time, communicate on the most different topics and get something useful for yourself from communication (positive emotions, new knowledge, etc.).

Many guys like girls who are bright, versatile, and have many interests and hobbies, as young men understand that with such ladies you can have fun, learn a lot of new things and find many topics for conversation. And vice versa, girls whose only goal is to find a guy, as a rule, are rarely liked by men, since representatives of the stronger sex want to see an interesting and developed girl nearby, who in the future can become a reliable life partner, and not an infantile girl who constantly needs to be entertained .

Step three: understanding the intricacies of communicating with the guys you like

To start communicating with the guy you like, it is very important to find the right topic for the first conversation. And the biggest difficulty here is that it’s difficult to come up with such a topic in advance, because at the moment of communication you will have to act according to the circumstances. Therefore, having seen the object of her interest, the girl needs to evaluate the circumstances under which the meeting took place and start a conversation based on them. For example, if you already know a classmate, you can ask him to help figure out a study assignment, and if you met the object of your desire on the street, ask some neutral question about the weather/public transport schedule, etc.

Another A proven method for starting a conversation with a guy is to ask him for some help. Most men have a subconscious desire to be a protector for women, so almost every guy will happily agree to be a knight for a beautiful stranger. However, you cannot overdo it with requests for help, so as not to get the exact opposite result. For example, if a girl asks a stranger for advice on choosing something, to take her home, or to lift a heavy bag onto the bus, this will be perceived as normal, but requests are beyond the bounds of reason (to help carry a heavy thing for 10 blocks, to deal with a group of aggressive people). people, etc.) the guy will most likely reject.

Despite the fact that at the beginning of communication, each girl should act according to the situation, still There are several universal recommendations, using which you can start a conversation and convey to the guy your desire to continue communicating with him. These tips are as follows:

If a girl manages to interest a guy, he will definitely invite her on a date. And on the first date, it is important for a representative of the fair sex to behave in such a way that it does not become the last, namely, to make good impression, correctly tell the guy about yourself, find out as much as possible about him and intrigue him.

Figuring out how to tell a guy about yourself and what to talk about with him on a first date is much easier than starting a conversation with a stranger you like, because the girl will have enough time to prepare and think through the future conversation. When telling a guy about yourself, it is important to present yourself to him as an interesting person. To do this, the girl needs to tell him about her interests and hobbies, mention something unusual and exciting that happened in her life, as well as in general outline talk about your plans for the future. But it’s better not to tell a guy about problems, difficulties and quarrels with an ex-boyfriend/friends/relatives on the first date - a girl who likes to complain about life and whine about problems has a much lower chance of being liked by a guy. And of course, on the first date you need to not only think about what to talk about with the guy, but also remember that listening to a man is no less important than telling him about yourself and something interesting.

In many ways, success in business, as in personal life, depends on the ability to communicate easily, especially if you are a girl, we will help you and advise you How. How can you learn to win over and attract people, make communication with you desirable, and be able to show sincere interest both in the personal experiences of the interlocutor and in matters related to business?

Before moving on to advice, you need to understand what shyness is? Shyness is mental state that manifests itself characteristic features: tension, timidity, awkwardness in unfamiliar company, stiffness.

How to overcome the well-known social awkwardness that sometimes prevents promotion? The answer is very simple - it is necessary overcome shyness, learn to communicate with people of all kinds of professions, age categories, owners of different social statuses.

There are individuals called introverts; it is extremely difficult for them to have a conversation with unfamiliar or unfamiliar people, especially for women with men. The following recommendations will help you overcome shyness in front of a guy.

How to overcome shyness in front of a guy?

How do you learn to smile in a society where people are complete strangers to you, when in reality you want to hide in the darkest corner and minimize unpleasant communication? Think carefully. Think about funny or interesting moments in your life that can make you smile! Practice more. To overcome shyness, give people your smile more often, even when you are standing in line, meeting your eyes while walking down the street. And quickly, you realize that it’s not difficult at all, on the contrary, it’s even fun.

Second tip. Try to start conversations with people you don't know. For this you need overcome shyness in front of a guy. When you are surrounded by many strangers, prefers to remain silent, it’s easier to stay in your comfort zone. But in reality, you simply need communication, especially when it comes to creating friendships or friendly relations.

After some time, it will become much easier for you to start a conversation with stranger, with whom communication is very important, perhaps it is this person who will help you in your career growth. You can read about how to talk anywhere and with anyone. Training, which will help in the future, can be done on the bus, in a cafe, or at corporate events.

Tip four. Try to remember the names and faces of the people you will contact, they will feel significant. Firstly, before meeting you, you must overcome shyness in front of a guy, then you need to try to remember minimal information about him, identify his appearance with his name, so that at a subsequent meeting you can remember with whom and what you were talking about. Place a high-ranking and important person you can by finding out information about it in advance.

Tip six. If there are no common topics for conversation, simply ask about the interests of the person talking to you. It happens that topics for conversation dry up very quickly and awkward silence begins. If such a moment has come, start a conversation about the first thing that comes to your mind, the main thing in this matter is, of course, relevance.