Friendly relations. How to build friendships. The way you were at the beginning of the friendship doesn't mean you remain that way.

Relationships with friends are an integral part of a person’s life, which makes our days brighter, warmer and more interesting. Friends can be closer and dearer than blood relatives. But it often happens that in life people lose touch with friends for various reasons. Moving to another city can provoke a weakening of friendships. Quarrels, differences of opinion, busyness, and much more can ruin a friendship. What to do in this case? There is no need to despair - if you were unable to maintain or restore good relationships with old friends, you can try to establish connections with new ones. How to do this? Read below for 10 tips to help you build healthy, strong friendships.

1. Be sincere.

If you have met people and want to get closer to them and make friends, you need to make it a rule to always be sincere. Open and sincere people attract others, attract and captivate with their lack of guile, simplicity and ease of communication. No one will ever expect a trick from such a person, so those around him are not afraid to open up to him. Sincerity will help not only build friendly relationships, but also better understand the people around us, because seeing our openness, people will open up in return.

2. Be proactive.

In one wise book called “The Bible,” a simple but relevant phrase is written to this day. “He who wants to have friends must be friendly himself.” If you want people to make contact easily, start taking the initiative. Take the first steps, and don't wait for someone to come up and talk first, or invite you to a party. By taking the initiative, you have a better chance of finding loyal and cheerful friends than if you waited for them to take the first steps.

3. Don't be intrusive.

Taking the initiative to build friendships is very important, but it is very important to maintain a balance and try not to be too intrusive. At the stage of acquaintance and rapprochement, many may not be ready for the rapid development of relationships, and frequent calls and invitations may seem intrusive to people. Be vigilant, and you will be able to feel when it is better not to remind yourself once again, and when you can get closer.

4. Be open to communication.

In building new friendships, it is important to be proactive, but it often happens that the people we choose reciprocate and are also not against meeting more often, communicating more and spending time together. In this case, you need to try to be as open as possible. If every attempt to invite you to a movie, coffee or a picnic ends in refusal, even for good reasons, the person will simply lose interest and will not make further efforts to establish a friendly connection.

5. Be involved.

Friends are not only partners in a pleasant pastime. This is a reliable support and support for each other. With friends we can share our sorrows and joys, discuss exciting issues, and ask them for advice. Sometimes friends may need our help, and we need to help whenever possible. Friendship is a relationship in which partners can at least partially count on each other's help. Therefore, if you want to strengthen your friendship or build new connections, you need to be prepared for the fact that at times you need to be sympathetic to the problems and difficulties of the people around you. Be involved, encourage, help with advice, and this can bring you closer together than hundreds of hours in a cafe over a cup of tea. No wonder the ancient proverb says that friends are recognized in trouble.

6. Find time.

The modern pace of life is so fast that people often do not have time to devote much time to maintaining friendly relationships. Hence the epidemic of loneliness, which especially affected residents of large cities. But just as a fire is kept alive by throwing wood on it, friendships need time to be invested in them. Learn to manage your time in such a way that no area of your life suffers due to lack of time. If you manage your time wisely, you can manage everything.

7. Take your time.

There is a time for everything, and if you allow a relationship to develop naturally without rushing things, it will be much stronger and healthier. It often happens that people become close too quickly, set common goals, spend a lot of time together, and then burn out in an instant. It’s good if such a hasty relationship simply falls apart, and over time the pain and disappointment will pass. But practice shows that such connections more often end in explosive conflicts.

8. Don't give up development.

Meetings with friends, communication, mutual assistance and simply having fun together - we need all this to feel the fullness of life, feel happy and be filled with impressions. But you don’t need to do all this to the detriment of your own development. Life does not stand still, and neither do your friends, and in order to always be able to carry on a conversation, you need to develop in different directions.

9. Find common ground.

Even though close friends often have similar beliefs, they still remain different personalities with their own characteristics. To build lasting friendships, you need to learn to look for things on which you have the same or similar views, and avoid those points in which you have differences. It strengthens relationships and brings people closer together.

10. Be patient.

Appreciating and respecting your friend is important. Patience often comes to the rescue in this case. After all, each of us has our own characteristics that may not be liked or may seem unacceptable to other people. But when we are more tolerant of the shortcomings or characteristics of other people, they reciprocate our feelings. If you constantly criticize or express your value judgment, you can lose all your friends.

The formation of friendships is an important stage in the development of a person as an individual. Without communication and close comrades, people begin to feel oppressed and useless. A friend is a support, a personal psychologist and a reliable partner. However, it can be very difficult to maintain a friendship, because, like any other relationship, it requires participation. Selfishness, commercialism and composure will be destructive for her. To build friendships and maintain them throughout your life, it is recommended to follow the advice of psychologists.

Accept friends for who they are

Everyone knows that he has certain shortcomings, but he cannot do anything about it. If even a person himself is not able to correct some nuances in himself, then demanding that he completely change his habits or change his views is at least cruel and selfish.

To build full-fledged friendships, it is important to accept a friend with all his disadvantages or simply remain on friendly terms with him.

Choose equal friends

This recommendation sounds rather harsh, but it is true. The fact is that people who differ in intelligence, temperament and level of development will not be able to be friends for long. Typically, such relationships remain at one point and rarely develop beyond rare meetings and short holidays together.

The fact is that a strong person will sooner or later understand that he is literally “pulling” his friend on himself. At first, this will not result in serious conflicts, but after a few years this situation will begin to irritate both. The same applies to intellectual abilities. An intelligent person will not be able to maintain friendly relations for a long time with someone who is significantly inferior to him in development. Such relationships are doomed to failure.

Be able to listen

To build a long-term relationship, you need to learn to talk not only about yourself, but also to be interested in what is happening in the life of your friend. Nobody likes people who constantly complain about their lives and constantly expect support without giving anything in return.

You need to understand that some people keep their experiences inside - this makes it easier for them to survive adversity. Other people definitely need to speak out, because that’s the only way they can feel relief.

The three of us should not be friends

In friendship, as in love, there is a third wheel. No matter how strong the attachment of three friends is, the bond of two of them will always be stronger. In addition, psychologists have long proven that good friendships can only exist between two people.

If a person is lucky and has two best friends at once, then it is worth communicating with them separately, so as not to make the third party jealous.

In large companies the phrase is often heard: “We are like one family,” but this is far from true. In such “communes,” friendship lasts exactly as long as people have something in common. For example, everyone does not have children, spouses, etc. As soon as one person from the company makes a change in his life, most likely, all his comrades will turn their backs on him.

Avoid psychological dependence

It is very important to understand that in the process of developing friendly relations, each partner will change their marital status, status, place of residence and much more. Girls and young men very often complain about their friends, saying that they distanced themselves from them after marriage or the birth of a child.

There is no need to confuse the concepts of “friendship” and “love”. A friend is not obliged to devote all his time and attention to his friend; he can and should have a personal life.

According to statistics, men are more susceptible to psychological dependence on friends, because of this they are more likely to have quarrels in the family. Putting friendship first is a big mistake, as companionship should bring positive energy and not be a burden for life.

Don't prolong conflicts

Friendship is a very delicate union that can easily be destroyed with just a few thoughtless words thrown in the heat of resentment. However, you need to understand that any conflict is more difficult to resolve if it drags on too long. You should try to discuss problems immediately after they arise. If the quarrel was very serious, then you should cool down a little and talk to your friend the next day.

According to psychologists, it is best to resolve conflict situations no earlier than 24 hours, but no later than 48 hours. If you wait too long, one of the comrades will begin to think that their relationship is not so important to the other friend.

Don't be jealous

Only a true friend will sincerely rejoice at the success of his comrade. If envy creeps into a relationship, it will destroy everything. Friendly relationships are based not only on mutual assistance, but also on the ability to be happy for your neighbor.

If a person experiences envy, then on a subconscious level he will wish harm to his friend. Sooner or later this will lead to the end of the friendship.

Is it possible to forgive a friend's betrayal?

Betrayal is the most pressing and complex topic in both love and friendly relationships. In this matter, everything depends on the “gravity of the crime.”

If a friend met with another friend and did not tell you about it, then this cannot be treated as treason. Accordingly, there is also nothing to be offended by.

If a comrade began to spread false rumors or set him up at work in front of his superiors, then this does not characterize him from the best side. Of course, you don’t have to break off the relationship right away, but at a minimum you need to talk to the traitor and find out why he behaved this way.

Another important nuance is that you cannot look for excuses for betrayal. It is necessary to clearly understand that those who betray once will betray again. In this situation, there are only two options left: forgive your friend and accept him with all his vices, or end the relationship.

Is there friendship between a man and a woman?

Psychologists are unanimous on this issue: in such friendly relationships, one person always experiences warmer feelings. This is explained by the fact that at a certain point a man or woman will begin to see his comrade as a sexual object.

Even if friendships between representatives of different sexes arose in distant childhood, this does not mean that these people will experience exclusively platonic feelings for each other throughout their lives.

In addition, it is worth considering the fact that men and women understand the meaning of friendship differently. If a representative of the stronger sex sees a girl as a friend, then he will boldly tell her about his romantic adventures and will not open the door for her or pay for dinner.

A woman subconsciously perceives her male friend as a potential young man. Therefore, she will be offended by such behavior. It takes a lot of effort to try to build real cross-gender friendships.

Firstly, you need to immediately agree that as soon as one of your comrades begins to experience warmer and more tender feelings, he must honestly admit it. Secondly, you shouldn’t talk too openly about your love affairs; this topic is best left for friends of the same sex.

Building true friendships is a long process that requires a lot of effort on both sides. The main thing is to always remain sincere with your friend, not to envy him or be jealous - then the friendship will last for many years.

Friendship relationships are most often formed “on their own.” We instantly find a common language with some people, but with others, no matter how hard we try, we cannot get close.

Constant interaction and communication between people is one of the foundations of human life. Every day we communicate with a huge number of other people: at work, at school, at home, on the street, in the store... Someone comes into our lives and just as quickly disappears from it, simultaneously disappearing from memory. Someone stays for a long time and becomes a friend, and over time - a close friend.

It is not surprising that the types of friendships are strikingly different (interpersonal relationships, friendship is generally quite an interesting and broad topic).

Sometimes camaraderie begins with casual and casual interactions. Sometimes people are first united by mutual benefit, and later such interaction develops into strong and sincere friendships.

In general, the formation of friendly relations follows different canons and patterns and, accordingly, leads to different results. And this is not always friendship in the usual sense.

What strange and unusual types of friendships are there? What is characteristic of each of them? Let's figure it out, compiling along the way the top strange and not so types of friendships that are most common in our society.

Top 5 Wrong Friendships

First type. A friend who doesn't ask unnecessary questions

They say good friends shouldn't ask too much. The thesis seems to be correct. However, the absence of questions does not always contribute to a strong friendship between two people. Is it so important to ask or not to ask questions to your friend?

Everyone will answer this differently. Some people don’t like to discuss their personal life with anyone at all – it doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or the first person they meet. Some people are annoyed by people who poke their noses everywhere and try to find out everything about everyone. However, it is often difficult to build trusting and sincere relationships without discussing personal topics.

A friend who doesn't ask questions is good. But it is good only when a person is guided by his own tact. Then, when the reason for the lack of questions is ordinary narcissism and inattention, it is difficult to imagine sincere friendship. However, such communication is quite possible, as experience shows. When this approach suits both parties, friendships of this nature can easily exist throughout life. It’s strange, but such friendly relationships with conversations only on detached topics are not so uncommon.
The second type of strange friendship. A friend with whom you can only communicate in company
Sounds funny, really. But often the formation of friendships begins within the framework of a large company or a group of people connected by a common cause. They find common ground with each other, have an interesting time in each other’s company, but when left alone, they suddenly fall into a communicative stupor. It turns out that they can communicate only in the company of common comrades.

As a rule, such friendship is very strange, but this does not prevent it from existing successfully. There is simply a type of people who do not know what to talk about with their friend, remaining with him in a one-on-one format. However, these people interact well when there are at least one or two other familiar people next to them: common topics, jokes and memories instantly appear.
Type of friendship number three. Friend since childhood
Oddly enough, we are not talking about those people who have been actively interacting with each other for many years or decades based on common interests. We will talk about the so-called “historical friends”. This is a type of interpersonal relationship (friendship) that is based solely on a common past.

Imagine the situation - you and your friend grew up together, played games together or went to the same section. By chance, communication with this person did not stop over time. You have changed dramatically, your goals and outlook on life have changed. It may well be that they have become diametrically opposed to each other and at the moment there is simply nothing uniting you. However, you are still communicating. We can say that this is a certain form of attachment in which there is nothing destructive, but which can rightfully be called truly strange. You see such people “on duty” when he comes to your city or if you are visiting your parents. It’s like you can’t help but see each other. But you get neither satisfaction, nor benefits, nor the necessary emotions from such a strange friendship. It feels more like an obligation than a friendship.
The fourth type of strange friendship. One way friendship
It also happens that two people constantly communicate with each other, but only one of them initiates the meetings. A fairly typical situation is in which one of the people is more interested in friendship than the other. At the same time, the second person, in principle, is not against this arrangement.

Sometimes the reason is that one of the friends is at a higher level of the social pyramid. As a rule, in this case, an active participant in the interaction wants to be closer to a successful comrade, without excluding in the future the possibility of turning to a friend for help on a particular issue. Of course, in most cases, in such a model of interaction it is difficult to discern sincere and true friendship. However, often the less interested party in communication does not interfere with such a development of events and agrees with such a scenario.
Fifth type of friendship. The friend who keeps his distance
There is also such a rather unusual situation when people communicate exclusively through the prism of sarcasm and irony. How does this manifest itself?

This manifests itself in fear or simply in the unwillingness of people to be sincere. They seem to have been communicating successfully and mutually pleasantly for quite a long time, but each of them is in a kind of “shell”. This model of communication is especially noticeable when each of the friends laughs off serious questions, without providing answers to them, but at the same time without rejecting the interlocutor. This model is the most interesting, since people have a mutual sincere desire to maintain communication, but at the same time do not have the desire to “reveal all their cards,” letting a person into their thoughts and their heads.

Strange friendship: results

We've looked at just five of the most entertaining and attention-grabbing types of weird friendships. Of course, there are much more of them, and everything that was said in the previous paragraphs is just the tip of the iceberg. But the point of the article is not only this.

The point is that there can be a lot of models of communication between people (you probably have friends in mind with whom you communicate within one of them) and each has the right to exist. It doesn’t matter in what exact “format” your communication with others takes place - the main thing is that this communication brings pleasure to you and your friend. If your strange friendships with certain people “suck the juice out of you” and darken your life, perhaps it’s time to think about what to do in your life.

The psychology of friendship seems to be a simple and complex topic at the same time. Everyone has friends, but is it always possible to build good relationships with them and maintain friendship for many years? In the article we will look at the main points that underlie the foundation of friendship, what unites friends and helps them stay together throughout life?

First, let's define friendship, what does it include?

Friendship- close relationships based on trust, affection, common interests, mutual respect and mutual assistance.

Thus, the psychology of friendship presupposes sympathy and affection and affects the spiritual side of the human personality. It is considered the most moral feeling - a friendly attitude is even a purer moral manifestation than love, since it is not so demanding. At the same time, a person discovers his best qualities in friendship - he learns to be attentive, caring, show support, help, and always comes to the rescue in difficult situations.

As a rule, friendship presupposes a commonality of interests, which initially unites people. Let's take a closer look at what types of friendships there are, how they are formed, what are the differences and similarities.

Psychology of friendship and its types

The psychology of friendship pays great attention to the question of the reasons for the formation of friendship and the choice of friends. Initially, friendly relations arise in the process of common labor - hunting, farming, knightly wars. Obviously, a team is stronger than one person, uniting into tribes, teams, helps to overcome an opponent, a beast, and life’s adversities. In the modern world, a person is free to choose friends on his own, often using psychological compatibility and internal needs.

Friendship from the point of view of psychology identifies the following role forms of manifestation of friendship based on psychological needs:

"Comrade"- unite common interests, joint employment, common projects, activities.
"Mirror"- helps you get to know yourself, tells you what you look like, helps you understand your own personality on a psychological level.
"Compassionate"- an excellent assistant in difficult situations, provides moral support, acts as a psychotherapist, and heals emotional wounds.
"Companion"- interesting for communication, there is a lot in common to discuss, a high level of mutual understanding, the opportunity to open up and be heard.
"Alter Ego"- an internal feeling of similarity on a psychological level, the desire to be like a friend.
"Ideal"- a person who acts as a role model, we strive to adopt certain qualities, learn a new attitude towards life or gain new knowledge.
"Recharging"- helps restore energy and mood, inspires new achievements, has a positive character, will always cheer you up and give you a great mood.

An ideal friend helps solve several psychological issues, then his value increases, because we feel the need to be together under different circumstances - in happiness and sorrow, as in family life.

The psychology of friendship determines the type of friendship based on the dating situation and the characteristics of the people entering into friendly relations.

The following situational types of friendship are distinguished:

Friendship from school years(occurs during school and student years, sometimes continues in the future if there is desire and interests that unite people);
Office friendship(formed as a result of constant contacts during working hours, the need to communicate with colleagues, usually temporary, although it can become strong and continue even after stopping work in the same team);
Business friendship(occurs between business partners, common aspirations for goals - creating projects, constant meetings, discussing prospects, mutual support and assistance, help to unite and become friends);
Resort friendship(acquaintances during vacations, trips, business trips lead to the emergence of new friends; such relationships are usually temporary, although they can continue after separation and return to normal life).

People can meet for various reasons, but the main thing that unites them is a commonality of values, interests, and worldviews. A feeling appears - a kindred spirit, when it is easy to communicate with a person, understands well and inspires trust. Not everyone is capable of being true friends; some remain acquaintances. Therefore, true friends are of great value.

Depending on gender, the following types of friendship are distinguished:

Women's friendship

The psychology of female friendship is built on constant communication and the desire to discuss current problems, which reduces stress levels. Girlfriends are always ready to sympathize and treat with understanding, without offering to change or become better. If you don’t want to look for a solution, but just talk, then your best friend is a woman. From a psychological point of view, female friendship is tested by success, not by troubles. When a friend is ready to share the joy and sincerely support in new aspirations, she is a real friend, not an envious person. You should appreciate such friends and try to maintain relationships as long as possible.

Trust- this is the main element of friendship, in female friendship you should be sure that they will understand, will not judge, and will not advise unwanted actions even with good intentions. The biggest enemy of female friendship is envy and rivalry. If your friend is not prone to such manifestations, then you can be 100% confident in her. And the question: “Does female friendship exist?” - does not arise.

The psychology of girls' friendship is built on mutual understanding, respect, trust, but a person can have secrets that belong only to him, and there is no desire to dedicate to others, this is normal, everyone chooses their own level of intimacy in the relationship. We noticed that the presence of regular male partners allows female friendships to be stronger, as well as between single women, but it is difficult to break out of such an environment. The psychology of friendship among women allows us to note a high need for communication, which gives vent to emotions and helps to understand life situations. Therefore, having a close friend has a positive effect on mental well-being, increases life satisfaction, and even contributes to a healthier and longer life, as medical research shows. Friendship between women, psychology - allows you to understand the main features of relationships and friendships of representatives of the fair sex. As noted, women are quite emotional and sociable, and friendly relationships are an element of psychiatry and help restore mental balance.

Male friendship

It is considered real and ideal; examples are described in history and literature of “The Three Musketeers”. At the same time, friendly relations are built on mutual assistance, support, mutual protection, and participation in resolving issues. Men are united by common interests, work, hobbies. Men show emotions less, therefore they do not open up so much in friendship, spiritual closeness is less strong in comparison with women, however, friendly relationships can be quite strong and stable.

Typically, true friends are rare in life, over the years their number decreases, and those who remain are valued even more - they have been tested over the years, by their actions, and have often helped out in difficult situations. Friends are essential in a person's life and having a close friend is happiness. It is important to protect and maintain relationships throughout life.

The psychology of male friendship is built on certain principles and interests:

General Affairs- friends love to spend time together, both at work and in leisure.
Convenience- friendly relations are mutually beneficial, provide mutual assistance in business, achieving success in various areas of life.
Mentoring- such a friend is usually older in age, but also has the knowledge necessary for development. The psychology of friendship between men is built on the desire for cooperation; a true friend will always come to the rescue in a difficult situation. Male friendship is tested in adversity; obstacles can be the desire for competition, different views on life, and the inability to combine friendship and family. Over the years, you can continue your friendships as families or occasionally meet up with your best friends on the weekends.

Children's friendship

The initial stage of friendship, from 2 years children show interest in their peers, and at 3-6 years old- first friends appear, friendships are built on mutual games, food, children like children who are cheerful, who do not like to complain, and who are open to communication.

Friendship allows you to spend time together, visit, have fun, support, help, and be protective. The psychology of friendship states that these are relationship lessons that influence the ability to build relationships in adolescence and adulthood. The task of adults is to learn to make acquaintances, find an environment for communication, explain the rules of friendship - share, be attentive, help.

Ages 7-10 school attachments appear based on mutual interests - studying together in the same class, studying in clubs, constant contact (desk neighbor). Friendship is often perceived as cooperation - whoever learns best can help. At the same time, boys always have common things to do and have common ideas, while girls have conversations and discussions. By the age of 10, an understanding of mutual assistance and mutual obligations is formed, and friends acquire a special status.

From 11 to 14 years old- a period when there is a need for a close spiritual friend, mutual trust, a desire to have an authoritative friend. Collective opinion, fashion, and current trends have a huge influence. Every teenager wants to be on a level with others, strive for recognition among their classmates.

15-18 years old- a new stage in the formation of personality, friendships acquire a more personal character, helps restore mental strength, resembles psychotherapy - constant telephone conversations, correspondence, meetings. New demands are placed on a friend - understanding, loyalty, the ability to help, and to listen. Friendship promotes self-affirmation and self-identification in the modern world and adult environment.

At the same time, it is necessary to realize that the ability to listen to others is necessary on a par with trust in friends. It is important to recognize who is trustworthy and will be able to keep secrets or minimize information, which leads to superficial communication. Friendship among children, psychology makes it possible to realize that this is a stage of preparation for adult life, the formation of self-esteem, contributes to the development of confidence, the importance of having friendly relations in childhood and adolescence cannot be underestimated.

Friendship between a man and a woman

Quite an interesting and controversial question. In recent studies, psychologists are inclined to think that opposite-sex friendships are possible when close relationships are impossible for various reasons. Male friends can be more interesting in communication than girls - there is no envy, rivalry, more understanding and attention. Friendships arise between people who have common interests - work, creativity, hobbies.

The psychology of friendship suggests that friendly communication with the opposite sex can be interesting, but it is important to keep a distance so that friendship does not suddenly turn into love. There are often situations when one of the friends is in love and hopes for reciprocity, continuing to be friends. Often strong friendships arise at the beginning of a relationship, uniting spiritually. If a girl has a boyfriend and a close friend, this is an alarming sign: love relationships do not bring satisfaction, feelings fade, and there is a lack of understanding.

There are different opinions about opposite-sex friendships; life experience does not always confirm the success of friendship, although everything is possible. This issue still requires study and remains a mystery. As you can see, there are different types of friendship, but the principles and rules of friendship are similar. How to become a good friend, what to pay attention to in relationships with friends?

Basic rules of friendship

Every person dreams of wonderful and loyal friends who are always there, ready to help and understand. However, let's pose the question differently, in order to find a friend, just like a loved one, you need to be worthy of friendship, be able to make friends, show the best moral qualities, what requirements does friendship put forward, what lies at the basis of relationships?

The psychology of friendship defines the basic rules of friendship:

Exchange- friends strive to share information, successes, achievements, news. They are always ready to provide moral support and come to the rescue in difficult situations. They strive to be pleasant to communicate with, ready for mutual favors, sincere and open in communication.
Intimacy- this feature includes the presence of trust in friends, confidence in their reliability. There is a feeling of devotion, responsibility towards friends, and a desire to keep secrets.
Relation to third parties- the desire to protect a friend in front of other people, the ability to recognize and respect his other friends, be calm about personal relationships, and avoid criticism in public.
Coordination- it is important to understand that each person has his own personal space, there is no need to be intrusive, a desire for constant communication, he has his own life, interests, concerns. Constant teachings also do not bring joy to friends; respect for a person and his inner world should be a priority.

The secrets of friendship and strong relationships for many years depend on compliance with the code of friendship, unwritten rules. Initially, coordination and relationships with third parties play a big role, as an indicator of a friendly relationship. Over time, relationships become deeper, involve more trust, intimacy - reliability, devotion play a key role, in contrast to the standard exchange that is often found in public life.

How does a person choose friends, based on what criteria?

The psychology of friendship states that people of the same circle who have similar interests, values, attitudes, and are close in age and marital status become friends. At the same time, psychological characteristics can differ significantly. In rare cases, friends come from a different sphere, circle, rather to gain new knowledge, training, and development.

At the initial stages of friendship, more attention is paid to external qualities; over time, personal qualities and special characteristics that do not appear immediately, but deserve attention, are valued more. People get to know each other, gain experience of communication, mutual sympathy and affection for friends arises. At times, moving becomes a tragedy for children - a change of team, loss of friends. The psychology of relationships, friendship is the result of constant work, just like family ones. Regular communication, mutual assistance, support strengthen friendship, you need to find time to maintain friendship, meet with close friends. Every day we can take a step towards friendship, strengthen it, or, letting it slide, nullify any interaction.

The concept of friendship in psychology presupposes self-disclosure, the desire to share one’s own thoughts and ideas, but with different people a person opens up to varying degrees depending on the closeness of the relationship. As a rule, the frankness of one person is a positive incentive, causing a desire to share what is personal and valuable, showing trust.

In a normal situation, a person has several close friends, relatives whom he trusts, the rest keep their distance and do not let themselves into the soul, this is correct, you should not trust the soul to all people, not everyone will understand, there are also mysteries in personality.

The psychology of friendship defines an important quality of a friend - the ability to understand another person; for perception and adequate assessment the following qualities are needed:

Life experience, an older person can understand a younger person (teenager, child), the opposite situation is unlikely;
Psychological similarities of personalities;
High intelligence- helps to rationally understand the situation and information;
The ability to understand yourself, a high level of awareness promotes understanding of other people;
Emotional stability- promotes a sober attitude of people, and anxiety prevents one from being objective;
Contemplation- the ability to treat people friendly, but to look at everything detached, observing and analyzing;
Sensitivity- the ability to perceive and feel one’s own inner world and other people, to be attentive and show participation and understanding.

Thus, it is worth increasing the level of development of your personality in order to be a good friend, learn to understand and feel other people, their experiences, joy and pain. Friendship from a psychological point of view presupposes a special relationship - a friend becomes exceptional, unique, inimitable. This is a special morality, a desire to highlight a person and pay special attention to him, emphasizing the value of relationships. Having true friends is the basis of a happy life, and their absence leads to decreased self-esteem, feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. A person can find kindred spirits in the world if he strives for this, knows how to communicate and create friendly, open, trusting relationships.

We wish you all true and loyal friends!

Any relationship, including friendship, develops over a long period of time. It all starts with meeting a person. Then you need to get to know your potential friend better. Thanks to this, close relationships can be developed. For some it is not difficult to make friends with someone, but for others it is very difficult to do so. After reading this article, you will find many useful tips that will help you build strong friendships.

Steps

Part 1

Get to know each other

Introduce yourself to the person you want to become friends with. As a rule, all friendships begin with acquaintance. Say hello and say your name. However, avoid being intrusive.

You can find a friend at school. It will be easier for you to do this if you find mutual acquaintances with this person and communicate in the same company.
If you happen to be at the same party with this person, you can get to know him and chat.
First, introduce yourself if you have been assigned to work together on the same project or task.

Answer if a person asks questions about you. After your new acquaintance answers your questions, he will most likely want to know something about you. Therefore, he can ask questions that will help him understand you as a person. Answer your new friend's questions. Thanks to this, he will be able to get to know you better.
- Friendship is a two-way street. Do your best to allow both of you to get to know each other as well as possible. This will help you build good friendships.
- Make sure that your conversation does not turn into a monologue. After answering your interlocutor's questions, give him enough time so that he can talk about himself. Make sure that both you and he participate equally in the conversation.
Avoid serious topics. If you are just starting to build a relationship, you should not discuss controversial or personal issues with your interlocutor.
- Strive to keep your conversations positive. Find topics of conversation that will bring you together or discuss things you're interested in learning about each other.
- If you feel that your interlocutor is touching on too personal issues, you can try to move the conversation to another topic. You might say, "I don't really want to talk about this right now. Have you ever been to a concert?"
- If the conversation starts to turn into an argument, try moving it to another topic: "I think we don't have the same views on this issue. Let's talk about something more interesting."
Take plenty of time to get to know your new acquaintance better. However, don't overdo it. Don't ask too many questions. Of course, to get to know a person better, you will ask him questions. However, be careful not to make your interviewer feel like they are being interviewed.
- If you happen to meet someone you know at school or at the mall, take the opportunity to get to know them better.
- It may take several weeks to several months to get to know the person better. Believe me, it is impossible to get to know a person in a few hours.
Exchange contact information when you're ready. When you feel like you've gotten to know the person enough to become friends with them, you can exchange contact information. Choose one of the following methods, depending on your preferred method of communication:

Part 2
Lay the foundation for friendship
1. Find out what it means to be a friend. If you want someone you know to become your friend, be a good friend yourself.
  - Think about your strengths and weaknesses, which may influence the development of your friendships. Make it your goal to improve yourself as a person so you can become a better friend. For example, if you sometimes forget to respond to your friends' text messages, make it a goal to improve. Reply to messages within a few hours of receipt.
2. Be yourself when you are in the company of your friend. It is unlikely that you would want to continue communicating with a person if you found out that he is not who he says he is. So be yourself.
  - Don't be afraid to show your weird habits. Maybe someone you know behaves exactly the same way!
  - Make jokes and tell funny stories. Show a sense of humor.
  - Talk about your hobbies and interests, even if others think they're weird. Perhaps your friend might be interested in them!
3. Accept your friend for who he is. Don't try to change it. Remember that your friend is a unique individual. Take him as he is. Your friend will be pleased if you do this. Agree, we all expect a similar attitude towards ourselves.
4. Invite a friend to spend time together. There are many things in the world that you can do together. Invite a friend to spend time together. This will strengthen your relationship.
  - Go to the cinema.
  - Go to the gallery.
  - Go shopping.
  - Invite a friend over for lunch.
  - Invite a friend to play at your home.
  - Invite a friend over to play board games or video games.
  - Play football or basketball.
5. Don't forget about special events happening in your friend's life. Celebrate these events with him. If it's your friend's birthday, don't forget to give him a card or even a small gift. He will also be very grateful if you rejoice at his success.
  - Be sincere when you admire your friend. If you do this insincerely, he will certainly feel that there is no truth in your words, and this will negatively affect your friendship.
  - If you and your friend participated in some competition (for example, you applied for participation in a certain program), but you did not manage to become the winner, do not envy your friend. Envy is an unhealthy feeling that can destroy friendships.
6. Make sure your friend knows that you are ready to support him in difficult times. Remember: friends should support each other. This is the secret of true friendship.
  - When your friend faces problems, be ready to support him. For example, if he had a fight with his brother or friend, help him get through this situation.
  - Be a reliable person. An important component of a successful friendship is reliability. If you told your friend that he can always rely on you, be prepared to prove it with your actions.
7. Be open and honest with your friend. Relationships cannot exist if they are built on deception. Therefore, it is extremely important to be open and honest.
  - If a friend asks you to express your opinion on an issue, do so tactfully and honestly.
  - Always express your opinions in a polite and friendly manner.
  - Don't withhold information from your friend. Share secrets, especially if this information concerns your friend.
Part 3
Strengthen your friendship
1. Show your friend that you value your friendship. You can do this in different ways. He needs to know that you consider him your best friend. To prove this, always do the following:
  - Be reliable.
  - Be honest.
  - Be yourself.
  - Support your friend.
  - Chat with a friend.
  - Celebrate your friend's achievements.
  - Be ready to help when your friend needs support.
2. If you can't spend time with a friend, explain why. If a friend asks you to spend time together, but you have other plans, be sure to let him know. Alternatively, invite your friend to spend time together on another day.
  - Be sure to agree with your friend to spend time together another time. This will show that you enjoy spending time with him and want it.
3. Resolve any misunderstandings that arise. No matter how similar you and your friend are, arguments and disagreements may arise between you from time to time. Resolve any misunderstandings that arise as soon as possible.
  - Be prepared to apologize if you are wrong. If you understand that the misunderstanding was your fault, be prepared to take responsibility for your actions.
  - Offer a solution to the problem instead of expecting your friend to do so.
4. Look at the situation from your friend's point of view. Although you may have a lot in common, you are still different people. In some cases, you need to look at the situation from your friend's point of view.
  - Try to understand why the situation is bothering or upsetting your friend. What exactly upsets him?
  - If the situation, in your opinion, is not serious enough, this is not a reason not to pay attention to it. Instead, talk about it with a friend and resolve the misunderstanding.