Drawing a belt is not a method of education. Novosibirsk and Novosibirsk region: latest news, objective analysis, current comments. Fairly, consistently, with love

Svetlana Kalaida

In a good family, there is never any punishment, and this is the most correct way of family education.

A. S. Makarenko.

When raising children, parents daily resort to one or another method of education. Whether it be punishment or encouragement.

The usual method of influence is punishment with a belt, which requires neither effort nor much time, this is the only method of discipline that is widely accepted and understood by parents, and is the least suitable of all conceivable methods of education.

Is punishment with a belt necessary at all, because this is violence and can cause psychological trauma to a child for life.

Punishment with a belt is not only dangerous for children’s health, but also negatively affects their intellectual development.

When raising a child with physical punishment, parents should think about who they will raise in the future.

Encouragement is a more effective educational tool than punishment. Punishment only stops bad actions, and encouragement focuses on good actions.

Within stock"Let's protect children from violence" a crafts competition was held at our institution " The belt is not for spanking. "The guys, together with their parents, prepared for the competition for a long time and responsibly.

The crafts turned out to be so varied and interesting.

Publications on the topic:

“What is kindness?” We, in our group, cultivate in our children love, an affectionate and sensitive attitude towards the closest people - dad, mom.

These are newspapers submitted to the competition by parents and educators 1 junior group. Everyone put in maximum effort and creativity. Our.

Promotion: “Skvorushka”“Let’s, friends, wherever we live, let’s plant trees and create gardens. Let us strive for this, So that both the beast and the bird love us, And trust us.

Campaign “Save the primroses” With the onset of spring, all nature comes to life and blooms. IN last days April, early May the first ones occur.

Good day to all MAAM members! Here we are with the children senior group decided to take part in the International “Garland of Friendship” campaign. That’s it.

In our group "Knowledge" a lot of work is being done according to the rules traffic- games, conversations, educational activities, productive activities. The summation of all.

On the eve of the holiday great Victory we decided to arrange in our kindergarten action "We are for peace!" With this action we wanted to say: “Let it go.

According to 8% of Russians, a belt is a necessary way of raising children, and 58% of our compatriots consider physical force for educational purposes to be justified only in exceptional cases. It is interesting that this opinion is unanimously shared by both residents of the Russian Federation who have and those who do not have children. But among men there are much more categorical supporters of assault: 11% of men and only 5% of women said that a belt is a “necessary method of education.”
About a third (34%) of Russians consider physical punishment of children unacceptable in principle.

Total sample size: 1800 respondents.

Customer: radio station "Police Wave".

Study population: economically active population of Russia aged 18 years and older.

Question: Do you think methods of physical coercion (slap, slap, belt) are acceptable as a way of raising children?

The respondents' answers were distributed as follows:

Respondents' comments:

Yes, this is a necessary method of education.

“That’s how my parents raised me. It turned out quite well."

“I don’t think there are many parents who have never punished their children. I'm not saying you need to beat yourself to death, but in some cases you need to be tough. If, contrary to suggestions, he puts a carnation into a socket or climbs under the wheels of a moving car, he will get it in the butt.”

“The child must understand that there will be punishment for an offense, and not just talk - physical punishment should be more offensive than painful.”

Only in exceptional cases

“My child is a real little devil, and this is not even because of indulgences in upbringing, just genes. Sometimes a good spank is the only way to influence.”

“Our children have become so painfully susceptible, so first of all we need to act with persuasion and persuasion, but it is in exceptional cases that “one blow replaces 100 hours of political work.”

“Theoretically, I am against physical punishment, but in practice... sometimes my nerves can’t stand it. I can say, as a mother of two children, that each child is born with his own character and he himself suggests which methods are best suited for his upbringing. From birth, the eldest son responds to shouting, spanking, and punishment with even greater whims, protests, insults, and even worse behavior. Since he began to understand human speech well, the most basic method of influencing him was persuasion, explanation, and persuasion. And sometimes you can’t stop the younger one with anything other than a spank...”

“This is not a method! Unfortunately, words don't always work. And if your nerves give way... therefore, “unpopular” measures are used.”

No, I consider corporal punishment unacceptable in principle.

“I’ve been beaten since childhood, a lot: it hurts and it doesn’t hurt, in every way. Especially during the school period. Mom demanded a lot from me. This does not help mutual understanding. It hardens. It's horrible. It doesn't give anything. It didn't make me any better, it didn't make me any worse. When was my birthday younger brother, he got it too - both from his mother and from me. I'm so sorry that I was aggressive and intolerant. I just didn’t have any other model of behavior before my eyes. I responded with the same answer that I managed to receive. Thank God, in adult life I missed it..."

“Children are our reflection. If you don’t like the way you look today, you don’t break the mirror, do you?”

“For some reason, when talking with adults, we don’t use the belt as an argument, no matter how stupid they are, but we initially put children in a dependent position, immediately showing that they have no right to have their own opinion? What kind of personality will grow in this case?”
“The most valuable thing in life is personal freedom. Any violence is unacceptable, because... The child is small, but a personality! And everything that is laid in childhood shapes an adult! And... beloved children should be spoiled!”

“A Man was born! From the first day of birth you need to be equal to him. Yes - it is a great job to raise your child as a person worthy of being one. You need to be tolerant of him at any age, convincing him of something only with your own good example, tact and word."

“Corporal punishment is carried out, as a rule, by people with insufficient intelligence - or people with pathological psychoses... which, in principle, is the same thing.”

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Belt as a way of education

Two-thirds (66%) of Russians consider physical force to one degree or another an acceptable way to raise children!

PUNISHMENT DOES NOT GIVE A CHILD THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN TO RESOLUTE CONFLICTS IN AN EFFECTIVE AND HUMANE WAY. A punished child becomes fixated on feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge. Consequently, a punished child will not be able to learn much of what is needed to manage and prevent similar situations in the future.

Physical punishment breaks the attachment that exists between parents and child, since a person cannot love someone who hurts him. The true spirit of cooperation and mutual understanding that all parents strive for can only arise when there is an attachment between people based on mutual feelings of love and respect.

PUNISHMENT EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS TO HAVE RESULTS, CAN ONLY ATTRACT SUPERFICIAL BEHAVIOR, BASED ON FEAR AND HAVING POWER ONLY UNTIL THE CHILD HAS GROWN UP AND IS ABLE TO CONSIST IT. In contrast, a partnership based on respect can last forever, leading to many years of mutual happiness as parents and child grow older.

WHAT ARE THERE METHODS OF EDUCATION WITHOUT FORCE?

Method of conversation or persuasion. This method can be used in raising children of different ages and with any character. During the conversation, the parent explains and argues how to behave in a given situation, and finds out the motives for the child’s behavior. The tone of the parent’s speech when talking should be calm, confident, and firm. Even one-year-old babies who cannot answer listen carefully to their parents, reacting to intonation.

The time-out method is when the baby is left alone for a while, forbidden to do anything and without communicating with him. In families where the time-out punishment is widely used, as a rule, there is a specially designated place where the baby is left for a while, it can be a chair, a bench, a corner; once in this place, the child begins to understand that he has done a bad deed and punished for this.

The penalty may be a fine. For a bad deed, you can take away one of the baby’s toys, you can prohibit watching cartoons or films, and reduce play time. DO NOT USE ACTIONS THAT A CHILD SHOULD PERFORM WITH PLEASURE AS A PENALTY. For example, make him read or write, clean the room, wash the dishes. This will lead to the child perceiving these actions as extremely unpleasant and avoiding performing these processes. A FINE CAN BE DEprivation of SWEET OR OTHER TASTIES (but not food) If a child has done something necessary and good, he should always be praised, expressed his gratitude, this could be a smile, a kiss, a hug, pleasant words “You’re smart, well done, that’s right.” “doing” or another action that causes pleasant sensations and positive emotions in the baby. For example, a child washed the dishes, praise immediately after the process is reinforcement, and a promise to go to the park with him is a reward.

Method "1-2-3". An effective parenting method in situations where it is necessary to immediately stop a child’s bad behavior. The method consists in the fact that the parent makes a remark to the child about his behavior and begins to count to three; if at the end of the count the child does not stop behaving badly, punishment follows. The method is used with children over two years of age. By counting to three and making intervals between numbers of several seconds (4-6 seconds), the parent gives the child a chance to come to his senses, change his behavior and get out of the situation without punishment. If the child does not respond to the adult’s comments and continues to misbehave after the count of “3,” the punishment must be carried out. When using this method, parents need to remain calm and not lose self-confidence, the score must be clear, the voice must be confident, if the child understands that the parent is “on edge,” then he can continue his actions, in the hope that he will be able to achieve his goal.

Don't forget: children are for parents, and a belt is for trousers!

If we want a child to be polite, we need to be polite to the child ourselves.
It is important for a child to know what disobedience can lead to. Promises of punishment and reward must always be kept and not left as an option.
It is worth remembering that only through rewards is it possible to build mutual understanding with a child.
You cannot evaluate a child at the time of punishment. You need to talk exclusively about how you feel and how you feel about the action.

10. Do not hover over the child, position yourself so that you are at the same level with him and look into his eyes. This is the only way you will be sure that he understands what you are saying.

Dear parents, remember that you should punish and praise immediately, and not put it off until later. If you make a mistake, don't be afraid to admit it. The sincerity of an adult will give rise to the sincerity of a child and strengthen your union.

Good luck to you in the difficult task of raising your beloved child!

Municipal educational institution gymnasium No. 1

Psychological service

or reward and punishment

as methods of education

baby

2011

Often parents who use physical punishment on a child say: “He doesn’t respond to anything except the belt. He’s asking for a belt.” And no one can admit that they take it out on a child when they feel bad. They feel powerless and don't know what to do. Hitting is faster and easier than understanding and listening; beating does not require thinking.

Punishment as commonly used is not an educational method, but a humiliating and humiliating procedure that can lead to problems in the future. And that's why:

Punishment makes children hate themselves and others. They don’t like themselves when they are punished, and they develop low self-esteem.
When punished, children do not learn to do the right thing, but only look for ways to avoid punishment. They learn to be cowardly and dishonest. Fearing that they will be caught doing something bad.
Punishment teaches children that there is something wrong with them. If a child lacks love and attention, then by bad behavior they will strive to get at least a little of this attention.
Fear increases with each blow of the belt, if the children do not understand the reason for the punishment. The repetition of bad actions suggests that children do not know what their mistake was.

Punishment is a very difficult thing and requires caution, so we recommend avoiding punishment if possible. As a last resort, some types of punishment can be allowed: delay of pleasure, delay of pocket money, prohibition of going out with friends.

Encouragement is a positive assessment of a child's behavior. It evokes positive feelings and a desire to continue working. There are a wide variety of forms of encouragement: a smile, an approving look, praise, awards, gifts.

As with punishments, you also need to be careful with rewards. There is never any need to announce any rewards in advance. It is better to limit yourself to praise and approval.

Rules for requiring obedience

The child does not know the rules well, the parents gradually teach him and control his behavior. There are many dangerous things in the world that parents should warn their children about. Putting forward certain demands.

There should not be too many requirements for the child; they must be correlated with the child’s age. In order for a child not to violate the requirements, he must hear and understand them, so you need to be able to correctly set demands on the child.

Requirements must be unambiguous and understandable.

Incorrect: “Don’t play around.”

Right : “Sit quietly for 5 minutes.”

The requirement must be appropriate to the age and capabilities of the child.

Wrong: ask the child to sit quietly for 30-40 minutes.

Right: offer an interesting activity.

It is better to give simple requirements that do not consist of several more. In this case, it is better to separate them into parts and present them separately.

Wrong: “Clean up the room.”

Correct: “Wash the floor.”

Requirements should not contain the particle “no”. It is necessary to communicate what he should do, and not what he should not do.

Incorrect: “Don’t play around.”

Right: “Do this.”

You need to make demands calmly, without shouting or setting conditions.