The child does not want to be left without his mother, what should he do? Doesn't want to be left without mom The child can't be left without mom

One of key points– admission to kindergarten. And it’s better to loosen the ties in advance so that the baby feels more confident. Petty care is more of a hindrance, and not only in this case. The child becomes anxious, unsure of himself, and shy. Therefore, if guardianship remains to a superior degree in your relationship, it is worth relaxing it. Everyone will benefit from this: both you and the child. He will have no fear before going out to " big world", of which the kindergarten is a part. Story five: Offended Vasya Vasya is 6 years old, he came to preparatory group from another kindergarten. Vasya – fat boy and wears glasses. He immediately came under the gun of the “mockers” - a group of guys led by Vlad. They started calling him “fat” and “bespectacled.” Of course, the teacher scolded Vlad and his team as best she could, but they still continued their work on the sly.

To be fair, it is worth noting that in state kindergartens a lot is now being done to ensure that children feel comfortable and parents do not worry. Why do we need a kindergarten: 7 reasons Some parents, as well as grandmothers, doubt whether a kindergarten is needed.

Infections “live” there, not all children are friendly, and questions arise about the teachers: will they offend? But we still need kindergarten. And not only for the child, but for the family as a whole! It is there that the baby acquires such important skills for his socialization.

Reason #1: Learns to communicate with other children. Do you think it's easy? Children who did not attend kindergartens stand out among their classmates, at least in the first year of study.

Mode - as usual kindergarten, but more flexible: you can come later, agree to stay at home for a few days without a doctor’s certificate. Caregivers do not always insist on naps during the day, keeping children occupied who do not need it.

Attention

As a rule, such gardens offer many interesting activities. Some, but not all, follow the Montessori system.

Important

Walks - on the street near the house. Opportunities for physical education and music are limited due to the small space. As for educators and other teachers, it varies.

Do you need a kindergarten? Decide whether your family really needs your child to go to kindergarten right now. If there is no confidence, your emotions will be transmitted to the baby, and he will adapt worse.

Doubts for several months (“Maybe it’s better not to go?..”) will play a cruel joke in September. The easiest children to get used to kindergarten are those whose parents cannot offer them a replacement in the form of home education or a nanny.

These parents feel inner confidence: “Where to go? You need to walk, and you will walk!” It is this confidence that is passed on to the baby. 2. “Regime” moments. I have heard from young mothers: “Why would I torture my child in advance? On September 1st we’ll get up at 7.30 and everything will be great!” Unfortunately, most likely it won’t be “excellent”.

Sleep mode is one of the main regulators of all activity during the day.

In my practice, there was a case when a mother and her baby did not separate until they entered kindergarten. They went to the store together, went on visits together, etc.
d. In general, they had no experience of separation at all. And of course, the moment of separation was very traumatic for both. Tyoma cried all day long, did not go near toys, almost did not react to anything, being in his grief.
And only special help alleviated the situation, allowing the baby to attend kindergarten and his mother to go to work. ● It is very important that by the time you start attending kindergarten, you both have gained experience of separations and meetings. Gradually begin to entrust the care of the baby to other relatives, starting with a few hours, gradually increasing the time.
Then you can “practice” by sending your baby to visit grandma for a few days. 12. When do you go to work? Already now we need to plan for at least the first three months of the baby’s stay in the kindergarten.

Oksana wondered: was her decision to send her child to kindergarten correct and would Nastya be able to get used to it? The next few days became a nightmare for everyone: in the morning the baby resisted and cried, and the mother’s eyes were also “wet.” Once again, having taken her daughter to the group, Oksana decided to go to a psychologist to find out: maybe Nastya is a “non-Sadov” child? Reason: Adaptation syndrome The situation described in this story is very, very typical.

Many mothers, bringing their children to kindergarten for the first time, are surprised at how easily they enter the group and part with their parents. But the following days show that not everything is so simple, and the baby is very worried.

Of course, there are children who cry from day one. There are also children who really do not cry and happily run to the group both on the first and subsequent days. But there are very few of them.

As a rule, adaptation of a 4-year-old child is easy and painless. However, not all parents have the opportunity to keep their child at home for such a long time; some have to send their one and a half year old children to kindergarten.

The average age when a child begins to attend preschool– 2-3 years, when the baby is close to or is already going through a crisis of three years. Games with other children do not interest them, since at this time collective skills are poorly developed.

Children under 3 years old, as psychologists and teachers note, do not play together, but nearby, so they do not have an urgent need to communicate with peers. But the attachment to his mother is too strong, whom a 2-year-old baby is afraid to even lose sight of. The adaptation of such children is much more difficult; they most of all do not want to go to kindergarten, and it is they who need help from parents, educators, and even psychologists.

That's why they try to feed everyone possible ways. And I admit, often their methods are associated with significant neuroticization of the child and the consolidation of the problem.
Shouts, comparisons with other children, mentions that he will not grow up or get sick, threats - and so on several times every day. Otherwise, the teacher may be quite happy with the child, but when it comes to food... Why doesn’t he want to eat? Why do some children refuse to eat in the garden with a tenacity worthy of other uses? According to my observations, in each group there are 1-2 children about whom they say: “He eats very poorly.”

This means he is very selective: he has difficulty trying new dishes and never eats something he did not like once. As a rule, these children are extremely fussy about food at home, and parents suffer with them, since it is difficult to feed them simply by preparing something for the family.

My daughter demanded that she be undressed quickly and ran to the group to look at new toys. Mom said to Nastya: “Bye, daughter!”, but the girl didn’t even hear, she was so busy.

When her mother came for her two hours later, Nastya was playing calmly, and it seemed that she didn’t even want to leave. The next day, Oksana did not expect any problems, believing that the girl got used to it right away. But that was not the case! My daughter put up a real fight in the locker room, did not allow herself to be undressed, cried and asked her mother: “Don’t leave!” She resisted and did not want to enter the group until the teacher came to the rescue and took the girl in her arms. Oksana left in a completely different mood than yesterday.

Info

When she came to pick up her daughter, she found her with tear-stained eyes. It turned out that Nastya sat in the corner the whole time, didn’t eat anything and didn’t even go near the toys.

He has the opportunity to really observe a lot, compare, and decide whether something is worth trying himself, already knowing the adult’s reaction. It is very important that this is not the reaction of their relatives, but of a stranger who is broadcasting general rules, norms and traditions.

Reason No. 3: Learns to recognize the authority of a “stranger” adult. This is important for later life, where there will be many teachers, then teachers at the institute, managers and bosses. Of course, every parent wants to think that their child will become a “big boss” himself. But this will not happen immediately. To begin with, you will have to gain a lot of experience in subordination, which will help you become a wise leader in the future. And the easiest way to accept the authority of an outsider is precisely in preschool childhood. Reason #4: Develops as a person. Of course, the child also develops at home, with his grandmother, mother or nanny.
From a certain age, staying at home around the clock with one or more adults ceases to be a benefit for the child also because these adults are unlikely to be certified specialists in these areas. And even if so, this is the exception rather than the rule.

Reason #6: Becomes more independent. In kindergarten, children learn self-care skills much faster than at home. Dressing, undressing, washing your hands, cleaning up after yourself, eating - all these are basic skills that, with home education, are developed later and at the expense of a large number of adult nerve cells.

In the kindergarten, teachers, firstly, do not doubt the child’s capabilities. Secondly, he reaches out for other children, not wanting to fall behind. And thirdly, educators lack time and energy, and they do not have the opportunity to “serve” every child.

In this case, do not console your baby with the words: “Oh, that nasty grandfather, he scared the little one!”, while looking back fearfully or angrily at the “culprit” of your baby’s stress. It’s better to say “Nothing, my dear, everything will be fine.

This is our grandfather, you’re not used to him yet.” The intonation of your phrase should also have a subtext for the grandfather: it seems that he himself needs adaptation to the child. Therefore, there should be condescension towards the baby’s fear, not fear, a readiness to protect! Only your confidence in the child’s safety in this particular situation can restore the child’s trust in other people and circumstances! “Mirror ponytail” Sometimes other children also become “mom’s ponytails”: these cannot be called melancholic: they are nimble, fidgety... But because of their sociability, they simply cannot remain alone. Even in games they need a “team”, at least in the form of a mother.

Mom of a 4 year old

Girls, I want to complain, I haven’t been able to calm down all evening...
The child is 4 years old, they started going with him to developmental classes, they demand that mothers wait in the corridor, mine won’t stay to study at all if I’m not in the class, the first few classes they allowed me to sit, now they insist that I go out, and if they say we will call you to cry. But the child is already stressed, he starts crying from the very house: Mom, won’t you go into the corridor? reached the point of neurosis, he refused to go to the garden, threw hysterics (which he never did).
As soon as I promised him that I would sit with him in class, there was silence and grace. He calmed down, everything got better with the garden, his sleep and behavior returned to normal, that is, as I understood, the reason for the child’s nervous breakdown was precisely the inability to study without his mother.
But the teachers were stubborn and today several times during the lesson they told me in a stern tone to leave. I didn’t go out because I promised the child that I wouldn’t do this until he let me go.
As a result, he began to get nervous, again say “I’m afraid”, in the evening he gave me fireworks of terrible behavior...
I want to understand who is right, because I will have to go to the teacher for the next lesson, the teacher said that she would not let us into classes without his permission.
I want to say right away that we are not in Moscow, and we have no choice, this school is very famous in the city and it is difficult to get into it. My son is doing great, making progress, one might say he is in the top three, he feels comfortable in class, works very actively, if something is not clear, he boldly asks, he is very proud that he does the work himself (modeling, drawing), loves to sing, loves music.
And most importantly, I see the great benefits these classes bring in terms of his socialization and increasing his level of self-esteem. The boy is very fearful and timid, but he is simply growing before our eyes.
I can’t hammer this into my teaching, I can’t get through...
It is clear that it smells like a scoop, but what is there...
The general question is this: do I have the right to attend classes with a 4-year-old child? Can I memorize to say that we will study together this year?
I don’t interfere with classes, I sit in the back corner of the class, the child is on the first desk, there are 10 people in the group, no one is distracted by me, including my child, I don’t make a sound... like shorter furniture.
I REALLY DON’T WANT TO QUIT, understand, both the child and I put so much mental strength into climbing up to this step that it’s a shame to slide down from it to the point of tears...
Thank you for reading...

give up all your activities, at this age you can still do all this at home. If you go to kindergarten in the preparatory group, the child will already be ready. are you laughing? which good schools, if you have neuroses? read about tics and obsessive-compulsive neuroses, this is what they result in if left untreated, and treatment is about creating the most comfortable and calm environment for the child.

says: I’m afraid here without you, I’m afraid of the children, I’m afraid of my aunt... but it seems to me that he’s saying this because he can’t think of what to answer, he’s not afraid of either the children or his aunt when his mother is sitting behind him in class, completely freely communicates
but he’s afraid of his mother’s departure like fire

It seems to me that it is not the child who is afraid of being left without a mother, but the mother without a child. Pull yourself together, and next time, with a smile on your face and a firm voice, say that your son will go to classes on his own, like other children, and in the meantime you will go and buy him a surprise.
After the lesson, do not regret it in any way, but ask gently and again with a smile how the lesson went, what new things you learned, etc.
The main thing is to learn to control your emotions.

I can’t answer your legal questions, but maybe my experience as a “mother’s son” will help you. We first went to educational activities when I was 2 years old, the child went there with interest, but also “by the hand.” He liked everything, but the essence of these activities is not only in sculpting insects, but also in making him a little more independent. We couldn’t leave him alone in the group, and despite the fact that they didn’t send me away (I was young), we stopped going.
At 3, 3 I went with him to physical development- there the children developed their spine, flexibility, etc. Only the first lesson was possible with parents, then by myself. The child said simply: I will walk, but we will “jump” together. NO persuasion helped, we didn’t go again.
At 3.6 I sent him to kindergarten. What I experienced cannot be expressed in words. He screamed for a month, every morning and every evening, however, he quickly calmed down when I disappeared from sight. The first year we went to the garden for 4 hours - before bed. A month later he stopped yelling and walked normally, but without desire.
After the summer it all started again - a month of terrible tears, hysterics, screaming, bad sleep. He was 4.6, I went with him to a psychologist. The dear doctor talked to him and said: Mommy, your baby is a wonderful manipulator, he fights for his interests and always defends them. If you have your own interests, learn to defend them too.))) And after a month we fell silent again and went on great for a year.
At the age of 5, I took him to a show. The child started yelling - nooo, I won’t be there, where are you going, you won’t take me, etc. Gone.
Today he is 5.7, we were screaming all September again when we went to the garden, everything went away again, but we don’t go to any sections anymore - I decided that it was better to calmly get used to the garden, go there with pleasure, than to experience the stress myself again .
Mommy's boys are terrible, just terribly difficult. Conversations: why don't you come home from work at 5, but at 4? - we have constants. I don’t go to theaters - in the evening he doesn’t fall asleep without me. He doesn’t go to his grandmothers’ dachas because I work, and he doesn’t go without me. He always looks around like a puppy to see where his mother is, even when we are walking. But there is one plus - boys grow up quickly, and all these attachments quickly go away in about 15 years. Can you endure it?..

At 4 years old, children are quite capable of remaining without their mother in such classes. Remember, mine at two and a half years old also cried for a while when I left her at classes in a private kindergarten, but I just had to get over it. In fact, it was all over quickly. And this happened to several people, they just had to endure the crying, but we also had good teachers.
Now my daughter is 4 years old, she goes to classes in a private kindergarten, no one in the group cries.
Just imagine how the child is going through it. He thinks “he’ll leave now, he’ll leave now..”, for him it’s already stressful just waiting for you to go into the corridor.
It can also be a form of manipulation.
You have three options, really. 1. clearly speak with your son at home that in any case you will sit in the corridor and survive this crying (it will end faster than you think, the main thing is that you yourself are determined) 2. Sit with him in class, while challenging displeasure of teachers and other parents. 3 leave classes until next year.
But, I repeat, it seems to me that at 4 years old children are terribly independent and in a society of their own kind, a mother is practically not needed.
I personally tend to consider such manifestations to be pure manipulation.

So you explain, either you behave normally and study, or we don’t go to classes. Other mothers with little dolls don’t sit in class, you see... If he chooses not to go, that means he doesn’t really need them.

I have a completely unmothered child. Of those who calmly ran to kindergarten for the first time, who remained alone at the development centers for a year and several months, etc. But at four and a half years old, he suddenly decided to give me a “mothering” - we went to a new educational activity for him. He categorically did not remain alone in the group, he demanded my presence. I sat in for several classes. And then I decided that enough was enough - firstly, it’s terribly uncomfortable for me to sit there in a corner for an hour and a half, I feel sorry for the time flying by in vain. Secondly, well, I disturb teachers and other children who look at someone else’s aunt and observe the periodic communication between me and the child. Thirdly, it was clearly indicated to me that the teachers are against such a situation. Bottom line - I calmly discussed this topic with the child, “I love you very much and miss you, but in class you will be alone for the reasons mentioned above. I will sit in the corridor behind the wall throughout the entire class and will not go anywhere. At any moment you can go out and check my availability. If you are not satisfied with something in your communication with the teacher, you don’t have to answer or say what you don’t like, they will definitely listen to you...” And she immediately carried out her decision, without exhausting the child with discussions and changes in decisions. I had to sit in the corridor for almost a year! I re-read a bunch of boring books, played all the games on my phone, knitted a bunch of all sorts of unnecessary things. But the result is good - the child remains calm in class. And when trying to repeat this this year, it was enough to say once, “You will go to these classes alone. And I will come for you after, and I will come on time.”

First, try talking to the head teacher. It is quite possible that they will meet you halfway. You will always have time to quit classes. You just need to talk without the child... I remembered from the “Evsky” advice: one girl in a similar situation left the child her thing (a bag, it seems) as a guarantee that she would definitely come for him

And here we are six. And nowhere without my mother. We go to development sites starting at four. At first I sat with her all the time. Gradually she gets used to it (i.e. if the development sessions start in September, then somewhere in the New Year she gets used to it). And she goes to some classes by herself, and to some she never goes to alone. But the next year (at five) the same thing happened again. Before NG we went together or in tears ((. And now this nightmare is again. And she is six. Moreover, we go to the same children’s club, the teachers have been the same for three years. There is no way to go anywhere else without me agrees (they tried this year). She already said that she will NOT go to school at all, only if she is with me. But we signed up for preparation, she says no, she won’t go without me.... I was already panicking. will pass with age, but no... Tomorrow we are going for a consultation with a psychotherapist. What to do...Where really a good psychologist find?

IMHO, your child just doesn’t have enough mother. You take him to kindergarten and it’s quite clear that in the evening the child is looking forward to communicating with his mother, and his mother is going back to his classes. So it’s simple, so that you can at least be present. If you definitely want to go to developmental classes, then on these days (if possible) do not go to the kindergarten, but communicate with your son at home.

I wrote above about the manipulator... I want to explain in more detail why such behavior requires, so to speak, correction. Especially if you have an only child in the family.
For most children, overcoming themselves and their fears
serves as a means to achieve self-esteem and self-recognition. In your case, the child bases his behavior on a position that is not useful to him: “I achieve and do what I want only when I am weak.”
This attitude was formed on the basis of constant experience.
And now you are doing everything possible to be with him in class. However, all his future activities (in the family, at school, in circles) depend on whether he finds himself in a position in which he will see the benefit not from his powerlessness, but from his strength, from overcoming himself. You or someone else (teachers, psychologists) should help him with this.

It seems to me that it was worth asking him better - what happened today. What did he think, what did he do, why didn’t he come in, how does he think about dealing with this further.
At home I would not give any punishments or show any resentment. Well, nothing happened. It is his right to go or not go to clubs. He didn’t come in, you took him away - I support this, you can’t disturb others.
Let's agree if we go there. If we go, then without any frills. I’m also not interested in going, taking you there, and then leaving. If we don’t go, we won’t go again.
It was wrong to roar and declare a boycott. IMHO.

I would advise you to go to the child and make peace.
Tell him why you are so upset, and that you yourself regret that you were angry with him, that you cried, that you refused to play later. Explain that it was very unpleasant for you to create disturbances for others and interfere with the lesson, that you are terribly sorry that you had to get dressed, travel, get ready for class when, it turns out, he doesn’t need it, that you are very uncomfortable, that he did not explain clearly, what he wants is that you flared up also from surprise.
And then talk about business.
Ask why he didn’t come to class. Discuss what to do next. Offer options - skip a few classes and rest (if you are tired), quit classes altogether (but it seemed to me that you liked it) or still go to them (let's try next time? But please, without such jokes).

And also. I would advise you to still try to teach your son to remain alone not only in class. At home - in another room. when you are in the kitchen. Perhaps with other children. On the street, when you stepped aside. Still, with dad or grandma, and not with you. Finally, back with the nanny.
It seems to me that these are all simpler and gentler things than attending classes alone. And it was better to start with them.

And talk more about this with your baby. Compose fairy tales about a brave boy (what is his name?) who was not afraid (and about the one who was afraid) to be alone. Laugh with him at the stories that happened to them. Don’t scold your son for being afraid (he’s a coward, like a little girl!), but together with him try to simplify this process. He must understand that you know that he is afraid, that you think that there is nothing scary, you are trying to explain this to him (fun, without getting angry) and help him not to be afraid. 11.11.2004 15:25:14, Anykey

Thanks a lot.
Yes, I asked him right away why he didn’t want to go study. He replied that he wanted to go home. It’s clear that he came up with this explanation, because... At home he only asked when we would go, and walked purposefully with joy.
The problem is that this is not an isolated incident, but is repeated with any activity from time to time.
“It’s his right to go or not to go to clubs”... Yes! But he likes it there, and this is just some kind of whim! And he wants to go there, because... starts whining when I say that we can’t go today, for example.
And in principle, I told him everything in approximately your words. He wants to go to classes, he’s not going to quit, he won’t do it again - he promises, but next time everything will repeat. How can you really restrain your “if you behave like this, we won’t go there anymore”? But it’s a pity, because... Very good classes, and we need them for development.
11/11/2004 15:50:54, Confused

I feel so sorry for you, you are so confused. Of course, no one is made of iron. Maybe try to play on the child’s love for you and pity for you? I sometimes did this with my son and daughter: you go to class, remain silent or answer in monosyllables, but affectionately like: “yes, kitten”, “no, bunny” - the face is very sad, calm, tired, indifferent, having lost all hope - exaggerate , as best you can (the child is small, but you need to notice), as soon as he notices, remember all the saddest things in your life, sit down to the level of his eyes and, without twisting your face, look into his eyes with the same universal sadness , shed a tear. Explain that you love and are very proud of your son, but you are very sad that he cannot silently and firmly enter the classroom and sit down at his mat. Tell me how much you want him to kiss mom, say “sit here and don’t leave,” enter the classroom and sit down at his mat. Ask for help and give you the opportunity to admire and be proud of him. Then cry a little together, hugging - this will relieve the child’s nervous tension and he, having worried and cried, will calmly enter the class. (mine would have done anything after that) But don’t be cheerful after the promise, even express some doubts that, they say, you’ve already lost hope. Walk slowly, limply hold his hand. If everything works out, after the lesson, take him in your arms, lift him up, spin him - in short, express your delight. Don’t talk about it anymore - but for a couple of days, smile a lot and pretend to be unclouded by happiness. Then at home, play as he kisses you near some door, says - sit here, don’t leave - walks through the door and sits on a blanket on the floor. He sits for about three seconds, sings something, pretends to be doing something, walks out the door, you grab him under the arms, lift him up and swing him, look at him and laugh. Tell your friends in front of your child how completely desperate you were and how he made you happy.
Ugh... well, I’m a graphomaniac.
Irunchik 11/13/2004 22:11:54, _Irunchik

From:

Of course, every mother is pleased to feel herself important person for your baby. But the joy quickly disappears when the child begins to follow you with his tail. Agree, if you constantly hold him in your arms (), then there is absolutely no time left for homework and rest. You literally have to run around the house, trying to clean and cook dinner while the baby is sleeping. What should you do if your child won’t let you go even for a second?

It would seem that mommy has left and returned many times already. It’s time to get used to it and understand that there is nothing terrible in a short-term separation, but there are still screams and loud roars. The reasons for this behavior are not easy to determine, but once you identify them, you can correct the situation.

• One whole

In the first years of life, the baby actively explores the world, which seems huge, unknown and sometimes frightening to him. He gains new knowledge under the supervision of his beloved mother, who is constantly nearby: day and night. It is not surprising that only with her the baby begins to feel completely safe, and if she disappears, anxiety appears.

• Signal of trouble

• Fear of loneliness

The baby begins to fear that mom will not return from the store if parents use threats as educational methods: “If you don’t stop pinching and biting, I’ll leave you!” After hearing this phrase several times, he thinks that he is being abandoned because of his bad behavior.

• Mom's anxiety

Since the connection between the child and the mother is strong, the baby feels her anxiety even at a distance and becomes restless himself. He may not understand the cause of your stress (family scandal, financial troubles), but he is firmly convinced that he needs to be with you.

• Lack of attention

It seems like you spend the whole day with the baby, don’t leave the nursery, but he still pulls his hand and constantly reminds you of yourself. This happens because you are close, but not together: you communicate on social networks, chat with a friend on the phone, or watch endless TV series. To attract attention, the child begins to act up.

"Mom's" daughter. The child is very attached to his mother

So, we have dealt with the possible sources of children’s reluctance to let their mother go. How to help yourself and your baby?

Note to moms!

Hello girls! Today I will tell you how I managed to get in shape, lose 20 kilograms, and finally get rid of terrible complexes fat people. I hope you find the information useful!

My 2.4 also cries when I leave... I always explain to him where I am and why, for example - I need to go to the store, I’ll come in 10 minutes and bring you juice, and I calmly leave, he seems to understand, he runs to the window and waves to me on the way, I come and say, why did you cry? he says yes, he did...

Gradually accustom your baby to your absence. Moreover, try not to slip away unnoticed, but to leave, waving your hand at the same time, you can kiss her on the cheek (if she doesn’t grab her with a death grip). Then immediately leave, without talking, right in front of her eyes... You can even leave without any special reason: just stand at the entrance for 10-15 minutes. and come back. Gradually, the intervals of absence need to be increased. But you must always follow the farewell ritual: wave your hand “bye-bye, I’ll be back soon” and leave without looking back. When you leave, then, of course, someone should stay with your daughter. She will certainly cry a lot, and may even be hysterical. Nothing. Never mind. Let the one who stays with her explain that her mother will come soon. And in 10 minutes. look, and you are home again!))) The child should have a stereotype in his head: mom leaves, but she always comes back. The child will cry for several days after you leave. and maybe he will cry and whine for 2-3 weeks. And then it will stop. This process of getting used to the absence of a mother is very difficult and is not easy for both mother and child. But you need to go through this path, because the child will not be able to be with his mother all the time (and vice versa). Start training today and you will see - everything will work out for you! Good luck!

Hello! This age feature This is the norm of behavior.
The child begins to feel that his mother has left forever and will not return, hence the uncontrollable crying.
There is also an opinion that the baby himself is afraid to crawl away and get lost.
I don’t want to scare you, but the so-called fear of rubbing mom goes away in all children in at different ages. My daughter only finished this when she was two years old. Some people have it before.
The main thing is to continue to explain that mom will come back, mom is nearby, everything is fine, and reassure her in every possible way.

In order for your child to stop following you around and crying as soon as you get out of the car or out of the house, you need to establish a secure attachment, it is necessary for the child to calm down and stop being afraid of losing his mother. And to do this, first of all, it is necessary to remove division from the child’s life wherever possible.

When might a child feel separated?

Separate sleep from birth
Early check-in to your room
Fear of “hand training”
Frequent separations
Mom’s detachment, thoughtfulness, “having her head in the clouds” (physically close to the child, but far away in her thoughts)
Reluctance to talk, ignoring
Time-outs (in the room, in the corner)
Physical punishment
Resentment towards the child, mother “sulks”
Love manipulation
Prohibitions to cry
The ban on being oneself, non-acceptance
The child begins to go to kindergarten
Birth of a brother/sister
The child was lost and scared
Fear of parents' death
Threats of separation (“Mom will leave without you”, “Well, stay here alone”)
Threats to give someone away if they behave badly
Spent the summer with grandma
Divorce of parents
Excessive strictness of parents, authoritarianism

This is of course not full list. Look, analyze. Try to eliminate what you can: for example, stop using separative discipline in parenting, if you use it. It’s great that your child sleeps with you from birth, but this, of course, is not a panacea. Although it really helps to make up for the contact that was missing during the day. Especially if before bed you spend time together, chatting, reading or something else, but the main thing is that it brings you both positive emotions.

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Do not compare different children, each of them is a separate person with a unique character. But they have common feature: they equally need parental affection and care, only some less and others more. Don’t be upset if now your baby is overly attached to you and won’t let you go. Soon he will grow up, become more independent, and you will finally have free time.

Marina Romanenko, a psychologist, creator of the Academy of Professional Parenting, business coach and mother of four children (shared with her husband), tells why children do not let their mother go even a step and how to teach a child to be alone!

It’s a pity that many mothers wonder “what to do?” already by the time the problem is obvious. It would be much easier to save your own and your child’s nerves if, from the very birth of their precious child, every mother remembered the moment when she would need to leave. No matter how strong mother's love, and the child’s adaptation to society is of utmost importance. Therefore, you cannot build your baby’s entire world around one person.

If there is no problem yet

Those families who, from the day the child is born, begin to prepare him for an independent adult life will be able to avoid many unpleasant moments. Up to one year old, children, as a rule, are not afraid to change hands, recognize every smiling aunt and uncle, and look at the world openly and fearlessly. It is during this period that it is necessary to lay the basics of communication. Determine the circle of family and friends whom you trust and with whom you could leave the baby if necessary. Arrange meetings more often so that the baby gets used to their proximity and participation from the cradle. Adequate guests are also not a hindrance. If your loved ones are not around, don’t forget about such an excellent “developmental activity” as a children’s playground. In portions and carefully, but persistently, teach your child to communicate with other people and children.

Don't forget the importance of tenderness and care for your baby. Their lack on your part will lead to the fact that the child will begin to shun all adults, become withdrawn, follow you like a tail and demand attention until school, and maybe even longer.

No way without mom

Every mother, if she had her way, would never leave her baby. But this does not happen, and the child must learn to live outside the confines of his mother’s skirt. Crying, hysterics, increased illness, even nervous disorders during forced separations are the result of excessive parental care, perhaps aggravated by the psychotype of the child himself. How to behave if you need to leave your baby?

• Do not look at your child with guilty, tear-filled eyes - this will only worsen the situation. A persistent, calm “That’s it, dear, I’ll be there soon” will be much more effective. Offer a compromise: “I’ll stay with you a little longer and then leave for a while.”
• Talk to your child about the situation: I’m going to work, to the store, to the pharmacy, to throw out the trash, etc. Even if you think that he doesn’t understand anything yet, a calm, confident voice and a promise to return right away will help you reach an agreement. A calm mother means a calm child.
• Turn into the same child for a while. Follow your child's heels, demand attention, start annoying him. Perhaps the baby will stop clinging to you like a straw.
• Support every child's initiative towards independence. I’ll eat it myself, wash it myself, get it myself – let it be, even if after that you’re faced with general cleaning.
• Make parting with your child a pleasant ritual - tsem-tsem, friendly high-five, rub noses, etc. Don’t forget about your intonation: only calm, confident persistence will certainly help your child take a step into the big world.

It is important who you plan to leave your child with. If this is a grandmother or aunt, then she should not be afraid of possible hysterics, behave as calmly as you, be able to distract her and not complain about the baby when you return. When enrolling your child in kindergarten or early school, pay attention to the teachers - voice, manner of speaking, behavior with children, reviews of other parents, lesson program. The child should be interested in your absence, only then the separation will become less painful. Don't make radical changes - your time away should increase slowly but inexorably.