Ellen FeinNew rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls. Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls New rules of fein read online

New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and Rules We are not intended as a replacement for psychological consultations. This is simply a philosophy of personal life, based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who turned to us for advice and help.

Why we wrote this book

Does it happen that your mother or another relative, friend or acquaintance is perplexed: “Oh, you are so beautiful, smart and sweetheart - why don’t you have a boyfriend?” And you seem to be speechless, because you also can’t explain it and don’t understand what your mistakes are in the area of dating and personal life.

Today women can do anything - graduate educational institutions with honors, climbing corporate ladders and even running for the US presidency. But getting a man to ask you to date or to make any commitments is an almost impossible task! Alas, we know why most beautiful, smart and pleasant women do not have their own “half”: they either chase men themselves, or show excessive enthusiasm when they make the first move!

So, our Rules- this is a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or online), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, the point is precisely to increase your worth: men love difficulties and lose interest when the object of this interest - and especially a woman - comes to them too easily.

Our book became an instant bestseller and was translated into 27 languages, because men are the same all over the world! We visited almost every radio and television program, preaching our “touch-me-not gospel.” We launched our phone and email counseling business and created the free Rules Network, helping thousands of women set and maintain their boundaries in courtship to increase self-esteem, find love, and get married.

Now we want to help you achieve success in your personal life by sharing our time-tested secrets that apply in all situations, no matter what you are dealing with - SMS messages, Facebook, instant messengers or Skype. Follow our rules when communicating with any man in any circumstances, and your efforts will pay off handsomely: you will get a guy who is crazy about you!

Are you tired of men who bombard you with text messages, “follow” you on Twitter, or write to you on Facebook, but don’t ask you to date?

Have you heard about the Rules, but have little understanding of how to apply their secrets to today's technologies?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, “just sex,” and being alone on Sundays and Valentine’s Day?

Do you wonder how women who are not nearly as beautiful, smart or sweet as you get married, but you just can’t?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you are reading exactly the book you need! We wrote it because the ability to get and keep a guy is not taught in school, college, or even graduate school. Women young and old, including our clients and acquaintances, begged us to write another book that would touch on more recently emerging forms of communication. Even mothers of young girls wrote to us asking how they could help their daughters!

We created this updated version of The Rules to teach women how to win the heart of Mr. Right in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least view the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem a little outdated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared that were unheard of in 1995! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book, but have updated them to suit today's dating world. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules that you need to remember are “Twenty Rules that are not harmful to repeat.”

But before you can follow the Rules, you need to understand that men and women are different. This statement may come as a bit of a shock because you were raised to believe that they were equal and that women could do whatever they wanted. Yes, we can become doctors and lawyers and earn as much money as men, run a marathon and be elected to prominent positions in politics! All this may be true, but women cannot play the role of huntress in romantic relationships without risking ending up rejected, resentful, or even inconsolable.

In a romantic sense, men and women are not the same thing. They need a challenge, and we need security. You know, one of the men we talked to while collecting material for this book said the following phrase: “I could never be a woman - you talk too much about relationships!” LOL! This is true. A girl receives an SMS or email from a man she likes, and immediately sends it to five girlfriends “for analysis.” A guy receives a text message, thinks about it for a second or less, and then continues to watch football. Long live differences!

Here's another thing you need to understand: men are highly visual people and can't be attracted to a girl just because she's cute, smart, or funny. They instantly know if they like a woman. It may sound unpleasant, but physical attractiveness is everything to a guy.

There is no way he can love your soul if he doesn't love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

Perhaps you are not “his type”, and he will eventually leave you for a girl to whom he is physically attracted. And vice versa: although every woman also has “her own type,” she is able to gradually fall in love with a cheerful or successful man. But for a guy this is simply unrealistic! Girls are more emotional about love, and a fan can conquer them with his personality, while most men are simply unable to ignore their appearance. Here is another difference in the “structure” of women and men!

Knowing these differences between the sexes will help you stick to the Rules (get your worth) because that's the secret way to get a guy: be a challenge for him. A man can get bored easily, and if you want to be his desired “prey”, don’t show much interest in him. Treat him almost the same way you would treat a guy you don't care about! As we wrote in our previous book, don't talk to a man first, don't ask him out, don't accept last-minute invitations to date, don't date him too often, and don't date him endlessly without commitment. Here are the main rules for the dating world!

Sherry Schneider, Ellen Fein

New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and the Guidelines are not intended as a substitute for psychological counseling. This is simply a philosophy of personal life, based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who turned to us for advice and help.

Chapter II. Correct daughters about the benefits of the Rules

Would we be good girls if our mothers had not written this book? Of course yes! Does this mean that we never disagree or argue with them? Of course not. Our mothers never pushed this style of behavior on us in our personal lives, but we both support traditional values and believe that old-fashioned courtship has lost its value even today.

Guys should always go after girls first - it works.

The fact that our mothers wrote “The Rules” only expands our knowledge about this subject, that’s all. We ourselves have seen more than once that girls who chase boys (both in real life and in television programs and films) do not feel very good about themselves and, as a result, usually end up offended or abandoned.

Our generation, one might say, grew up on SMS, Facebook, Skype, Gchat, Twitter and a whole bunch of others. social networks. We know that all this instant communication has made the world of dating and courtship even more complex and confusing. However, we have seen girls make serious mistakes, writing all over a guy's Facebook wall, bombarding him with tweets, texting him 24/7, and have even personally witnessed several severe cases of clinginess that are guaranteed to not end well.

We all know what it's like to fall head over heels in love with some guy and find yourself unable to get him out of your head. Obviously, that's why all the girls talk about dating and falling in love! Invest your time productively and focus on school, work, friends, hobbies, sports, clubbing - not just guys. Do something that makes you proud of yourself.

Throughout the pages of this book, you will come across our statements on topics that our mothers are worse at than we are. You will find advice in them: how to resist sending a guy an SMS; how to behave when your boyfriend goes to study abroad; what's going on with Foursquare; how to invite to a birthday using Facebook and much more! Our mothers, faced with all this, would not even know where to start!

The sooner you start studying and following the Rules, the better. We have already seen a lot of broken hearts in our time and we wouldn’t want one of them to be yours!

Age: Minimum pause before answering: Rationale

18–22 years: 30 minutes

Do you want to really grab his attention? Wait an hour!

If you are between 18 and 22 years old and you are in a committed, serious relationship, you should respond within half an hour, but you can write to your young man more regularly than to a new acquaintance. But you still have to maintain a certain aura of mystery and finish the correspondence first.

23–25 years: One hour

Do you want to really grab his attention? Wait two hours!

Women aged 23–25 are usually busy with work and live in their own apartments. They have a lot to worry about (business meetings, travel to and from work, rent payments, bills), so an hour-long pause in correspondence is quite acceptable. It's not bad to make a man wait even two hours! Good girls don't check their SMS lists in the middle of a meeting with a client or while driving on the way home from work. The first is stupid, the second is dangerous.

26–30 years: Two hours

Do you want to really grab his attention? Wait three hours!

Women 26-30 not only work and have active social lives, but they have even more responsibilities than recent college graduates. For example, they may have secretaries or assistants whose work needs to be monitored, important matters such as checking their balance online. Plus, they (hopefully) go to parties, clubs, and dates, so they can't text all day long.

31 years and older: Three hours

Do you want to really grab his attention? Wait four hours!

Most women aged 31 and older want to get married. They have demanding jobs and many other responsibilities and interests—real estate loans, volunteer work, nephews and nieces. They simply cannot respond to men who only want to text without asking the woman out on a Saturday night.

Remember, this schedule is not suitable for responding to a man’s first SMS. You should always wait at least four hours or more before it. But when SMS exchange has already been established between you, you are not obliged to strictly adhere to the estimated time for your age group. Not only would it be tedious, but it would also be too predictable. You must “mix your tracks” so that he does not figure out your scheme and does not suspect that you are using some kind of cunning strategy. If you are 20 years old, then after your first response you can respond to the second SMS after 30 minutes, to the third after 5 minutes, and then wait from 10 to 20 minutes. And then, when he expects the next SMS in 20 minutes, give him an hour wait to remain unpredictable. Let him grab the phone every now and then! Although the first two cases when you do not answer an SMS immediately will cause confusion in the guy, he will get used to these pauses and understand that you are busy with other things and do not like to rush. He will come up with an excuse for these delays, for example, he will tell himself: “She is not friendly with the telephone!”

When men don't text or respond to text messages for a long time, women come up with excuses for them: “He must be very busy at work,” or “He must be watching football,” or “His battery is probably dead.” But a woman, by not responding to SMS immediately, is for some reason afraid of appearing rude, or cold, or a calculating schemer. Don't you have your own life? Aren't you busy? How can a guy prove that you follow the Rules and are not just busy with things to do? No way.

If you have Blackberry Messenger, iMessage, or any of their equivalents on your phone, the guy can figure out if you read his message. If he doesn’t receive an SMS after a couple of minutes, he may feel offended that you’re delaying answering. So don't read his message until you're ready to respond.

How Facebook ruined everything

Get under the covers and hug your loved one tighter teddy bear because it's time for scary tale about Facebook, which really happened. The future looked bright for Jordan and Laura. A few weeks after they started dating, the guy officially announced their relationship on Facebook and even chose beautiful photo, where they were together, to update their profile. But suddenly something terrible happened! It started with little things - with Laura writing on Jordan’s “wall” every day “ Good morning! It didn't take long for her to fill his entire “wall” with love messages with hearts and doves and romantic clips she found on YouTube. Jordan's friends teased him mercilessly for this and even posted snotty comments on his "wall" parodying Laurin. After a while, Jordan got so tired of it that he decided to break off the relationship with her - right on Facebook. And as if this humiliation wasn’t enough for Laura, dozens of Jordan’s friends “liked” the news of their breakup! She shouldn't have made her personal feelings for Jordan so public. Guys are also capable of tenderness, but not in such high doses - and not in front of all their friends.

Correct daughters

Imagine that you were born in a different era, when there were no social networks yet. At that time, the only thing the girl knew about the guy was how he treated her! Of course, you will still look at his profile, but remember the main thing: do not quote him under any circumstances when meeting him. Don’t bring up the topic of his page at all, let alone say things like “I saw Chelsea “friended” you” or “Seems like you spent all day skiing yesterday.” You don't want to look like a stalker!

Brooke, a junior in college, feared that her boyfriend, who was attending medical school out of town, was cheating on her after she saw photos of him skiing with other girls on Facebook. There were right ones between them and exclusive relationship and we decided she had nothing to worry about. We advised Brooke not to bring this topic up in conversations. A few days later he called her and said that he missed her very much and would fly to her on the weekend. Yes, some guys are just friends with other girls sometimes!

You should judge a man by his actions, not by what is posted on his “wall.”

There are plenty of mean girls out there who will tag him in a photo and write on his “wall” “had a lot of fun last night” or “hey handsome” just to cause trouble. You should rise above this nonsense and build your relationships not on status updates.

Rule #11 Don’t be the first to email and remember that brevity is the sister of talent (don’t turn your email into an e-book!)

Most of the Rules that apply to SMS also apply to email. Never send a letter to a guy first, keep it light and witty, and wait before replying.

Unlike SMS, which by necessity must be short and to the point, emails are much more dangerous. This medium of communication allows for the writing of ornate, diary-like treatises.

Sometimes women are seduced by the sight of a blank screen and can write an entire e-book in one sitting, scaring off men! We know that some people send guys excerpts from their favorite poems, quotes from novels, tests to determine introversion or extroversion, links to news articles, questionnaires from Cosmopolitan magazine, YouTube videos, chain letters to be forwarded to ten friends. , and God knows what else! All this is wrong!

This form of communication is good for best friends, but it’s deadly for a relationship with a guy, especially in the first few months. Even if he asks you an open-ended question (like, “How are you doing at work?”), treat it like a text message. Just write back: “Very productive week!” Telling him that your accountant quit yesterday, you have a ton of work to do, and the deadline for your project came three days ago, and you are afraid that because of the endless tapping of keys you will develop wrist syndrome, means giving out unnecessary information ( maybe if your hands hurt so much from work, you shouldn’t write him long letters?).

Why do we need emails at all?

Too much has changed since Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fell in love via pen pal in the 1998 film You've Got Mail. These days, communicating via email with a guy you like is a completely unnecessary hassle. It's good for breaking the news to a boyfriend who lives in another city, but flirting via email with a potential suitor is not worth it. In the unlikely event that he decides to write you a letter, you can, of course, respond, but follow the Rules, calculating response time and message length. When he asks what you do, resist the urge to tell him every little aspect of your life, even though the blank screen is just begging to be filled with words. However, before you answer, think about why he can’t text you or use Facebook like everyone else?

Correct daughters

We understand perfectly well how you want to write more. Constantly having a phone or laptop at hand provokes heartfelt outbursts, especially if it's a boring day at work, or when you stop at Starbucks during your lunch break, or while your flight is delayed at the airport. But still, talk about current events to your friends, and not to the guy you fell in love with or are dating. Long and frequent emails are a powerful anti-stimulant. Few people like to read bulky paragraphs about women's feelings, thoughts, desires or needs. The man gets the feeling that he is obliged to drop everything he’s doing—study, work, hanging out with friends, a football match—and write an answer. You don't need him to feel obligated at all. Moreover, detailed letters clearly demonstrate that you have nothing to do and are wasting your free time thinking about him!

We've spoken to dozens of men, and they say long or frequent emails from women irritate them. It's like a sluggish, labored game of ping pong. “I couldn’t do anything while I was dating one of these email addicts. She wrote to me from morning to evening,” one of them complained. And then he met the right girl, who not only did not write to him first, but also answered only half a day later: “It was so fresh and unusual! I don't want to text my friend all day. I need to do my job, but at the same time I want a relationship. Am I asking too much?

Not only should you not write to him first, but you must wait at least four hours before responding to his first email, and from half an hour to three hours before responding to subsequent ones - the same as with SMS correspondence (see Rule No. 6 ). The weekend (from 6pm on Friday to 6pm on Sunday) is still a dead zone because you need to let a man know that you are having fun and not sitting next to the computer. You can only respond to an email you received over the weekend if the question is urgent: for example, a date has already been set, but he wants to pick you up at seven o’clock in the evening, not at eight, so that he can go to a karaoke bar before dinner, and asks if you agree. In this case, you can wait half an hour and write in response something simple and short, for example, “Of course.” Remember, you can talk during a date!

We advise clients who meet men on the Internet to write briefly, easily and naturally. It doesn't matter that he wrote out his entire life story to you in a letter, including four latest novel, and also outlined his political and religious views. It could be a template letter that he sent to three dozen women that has nothing to do with you specifically or anyone else. Write back simply: “Hello! You are a very interesting storyteller." When he asks you out on a date, you can talk about all the ups and downs of his life.

If someone you met online or through mutual friends seems to be trying to set up a first date but keeps changing the date or plans, keep your answer very short, as there is no point in encouraging a time waster. This story happened to one of our clients. A man she had not yet met in person set up a date, but then sent an email explaining why he had to reschedule their first meeting: “Sorry we had to postpone our first date. Just returned from a business trip to Los Angeles. Sorry again, I can’t wait to meet you myself.” She planned to text him in five minutes: “Welcome! How's the weather in Los Angeles? I understand everything perfectly. Let's set an exact date after the Easter holidays." Too much honor! We advised her to respond three days later (not even the next day, because he canceled the appointment): “No problem!”

A letter announcing a breakup deserves the shortest response. If a man has the audacity to end your relationship in such a heartless way, just write back: “I agree!”

Don't talk about how you're hurt, that you didn't expect it at all, that he did wrong, or you did wrong, or that you both did wrong. No man who ends a relationship via email wants—or deserves—any comment. Next!

Email has its advantages and benefits. This is not as intimate a means of communication as a phone call, which can work to your advantage. If the man you're dating leaves a message on your phone, send him an email back. We don't really encourage phone calls because you might catch him at the wrong moment, while email never disturbs someone else's living space. Besides, when a man calls you, the conversation always goes better, because you know for sure that he is in the mood to talk. Therefore, we advise clients to write briefly: “Hi, I couldn’t answer your call. A terribly difficult day!” - and let him call back again. Remember, you want letters and calls to lead to dates, not to continued correspondence!

Study abroad

Studying abroad puts a whole new spin on the standard long-distance relationship and, as a result, requires a very specific set of Rules. Unlike other similar situations, studying abroad does not involve a very long separation; This is usually one semester or one summer. When you leave your boyfriend, or when he goes to some exotic country for a few months (especially if it has a reputation as the home of hot love and dark-eyed beauties), breaking up can be difficult for you. But in situations like this best way keeping your boyfriend is letting him go for a while.

Sometimes guys suggest taking a break when one or both of you are busy exploring a foreign country. This is a common occurrence, so don't panic. Although a break in a relationship may be a sign of its end under normal circumstances, the Rules When studying abroad they are slightly different. Such guys usually convince themselves that a pause will allow them to have a good “break away” while being apart from you, but don’t rush to drag the box of food closer to you. paper napkins. Arm yourself with composure and keep it. If he really cares about you, then there is no way he will be able to stay away from you for all four months - he will write to you and offer you dates via Skype long before he starts getting ready to go back. Well, what if he doesn't? As sad as it is, we must tell you that in this case, the time has come for you too to find yourself a dark-eyed handsome man.

Correct daughters

If you're not sure if you can maintain healthy relationships, imagine living in the 1980s. Before all this video technology, a guy would have to travel quite a distance to see you. We already know that an excess of technical means is not always to our advantage. Don’t be too willing to agree to chat on Skype for a long time in the morning, afternoon and evening. Turn off ooVoo and decline offers to talk via FaceTime at least occasionally so you won't always be available. And when you agree to a video chat, end it after 20 minutes: you don’t have time to sit in front of the computer all the time! Moreover, you cannot initiate conversations - just like with any other form of communication. Initiating a video chat is even worse than texting or calling, because in this case you are required to sit at the computer. Is this possible if you are always busy and live a full, eventful life?

Long distance relationships don't have to stay that way for long. He will have to work his brains out, deciding how and when to see you, how you can be together, and whether this means moving for him or for you - but the latter will happen only after he proposes to you, gives you a ring and you make an appointment. wedding date! In the right relationship, a man wants to breathe the same air as you and does not want to be separated for a long time.

As we wrote in our first book, in this case he must come to you three times before you pay him a visit yourself. This may sound strange, but there is no gender equality in this situation.

If the guy you're dating makes excuses to avoid coming to see you every week or every month, it's not a long-distance relationship, it's just a made-up relationship, virtual pleasantries on the Internet and video chats. We know that. We have to listen to “veteran stories.”

Erica, a 30-year-old art gallery owner, met Max, a 35-year-old teaching assistant, at the Louvre in Paris. They were both standing in front of the Mona Lisa, and Max said, “It's smaller than you might think, isn't it? Where are you from? I'm from Chicago." Erica smiled and told Max that she was from Washington. They liked each other, and Max asked Erica if she would like to have coffee and croissants at a cafe nearby. Erica shrugged, “Why not?”

They talked excitedly for three hours straight. The girl couldn’t believe how much they had in common! They soon found out that they were both leaving Paris the next morning, so they decided to also have dinner that same day. After drinking a bottle of wine with Max, Erica stayed in his room; they had sex that night and again in the morning.

They rode in a taxi together to the airport. Their conversation flitted effortlessly from art to philosophy, from religion to history, as if they had known each other for many years and not just a day. One would start a phrase, and the other would pick it up.

When they returned to America, Max bombarded her with SMS and emails from morning to evening: “I dreamed about you last night. I'll write you a poem. Who is your favorite poet? She answered him just as often and with enthusiasm. At night they began chatting on Skype, Erica skipping morning workouts at the gym so that Max could find her at home: he liked to start the day by talking with her. The girl updated her status on Facebook: “It looks like I found my love in the city of light!”

Despite a whirlwind of texts, emails, Facebook messages and Skype conversations for two months, Max never spoke about new meeting. Erica was so fascinated by the constant contact that she did not notice (or pretended not to notice) the obvious, until one of her correct The friend didn’t tell her: “If this guy is so crazy about you, why doesn’t he come to you?” Erica cited Max's busy schedule.

Nevertheless, she decided to invite him to the opening of the exhibition at the gallery in order to “get things moving.” Max replied that he would love to come, but his hands and feet were tied up with work. Erica didn't want to waste another two months and remembered that she had a friend in Chicago with whom it would be nice to reconnect - it was an excuse to see Max. The guy seemed delighted, but said that his car was being repaired and he would not be able to pick it up from the airport. Max invited her to stay with him and said that they would go to a restaurant for dinner. Erica was as excited as a schoolgirl at the prospect of spending a few days with Max, but she shouldn't have been so excited. After all, how much effort does it take for a man to allow a woman to stay at his home in exchange for sex and pleasant company? Nothing at all!

Despite the joy of reuniting with her beloved, Erica noticed that it was not nearly as romantic as in their correspondence and video chats. Max's phone was constantly ringing, and it seemed that he was adjusting his girlfriend to his busy schedule, in which she played far from the main role.

When Erica left, she felt empty and disappointed. She decided to call her right one friend, she gave her a copy of our book and advised her to contact us for a consultation.

We went through their relationship in detail from the first meeting to the current moment. Erica forwarded us all the letters and messages they exchanged to see if there was any way to salvage their romance. We, as delicately as possible, pointed out to her all the mistakes that she had made, starting from the first day: she spent more than 20 minutes with Max at the first meeting, slept with him too soon, poured out her heart in conversations on Skype, and was the first to come to visit him. It wasn't just that their relationship was developing too rapidly and too quickly - it was Erica herself who was trying to keep it alive. Because she was always easily accessible, Max did not perceive her as an extraordinary woman.

He happily talked to her online, happily met her when she arrived, but he didn’t lift a finger for their meeting. Who knows, perhaps Max was even dating one of his students at that time - after all, Erica was only a pen pal and “bed friend” for him. The girl agreed to distance herself from Max and apply the Rules in practice.

Suddenly Erica became very busy with work, the gym and her friends. In addition, she opened an account on the dating site Match.com, since her relationship with Max could hardly be called exclusive, despite all their heart-to-heart conversations. She ignored his text messages unless he expressed a desire to visit her (which he did not). We recommended that she turn off Skype so he couldn't spontaneously call her and he had to write emails setting up a time to video chat. We advised her to limit video communication to one 20-minute session per week and resume morning workouts at the gym.

If Max wanted to see Erica's pretty face, he should have taken a plane to Washington. No more long emails or text messages about poetry and religion, just “very busy at the gallery.” In response to questions like “What do you do?” she wrote: “I’m at the gym, I can’t talk,” or “To the cinema with friends,” or “Sorry, I have to run!” Despite all Max's ranting about poetry and life, he never said that he wanted to be with her.

After a week of correct Defense Max noticed that Erica was becoming less accessible and sent her several messages asking her what she was doing and whether she planned to come to Chicago again, but did not mention a word about going to visit her.

She managed to meet a man through Match.com who lived nearby in Virginia, and he asked her out on a real date, which helped her quickly get rid of Max's influence. Thanks to the Rules Erica realized that their "long-distance relationship" wasn't really a romance at all.

In some cases, the client insists that she followed the Rules for Long-Distance Relationships (that is, she waited until the man's third visit before visiting him), but their romance still didn't work out, and she wants to know why. When considering her situation at the consultation, we find out that after his third visit, she forgot to even think about complying with the Rules. It is important to remember that even after a man comes for the third time, he should still be able to pursue you. After all, you want to date a guy who doesn’t want to break up with you? A woman must follow the spirit of the Rules, not their letter.

New Yorker Sophie, 34, met Jordan, 37, at a bar near her office on Friday night. Jordan flew to New York from Seattle for a real estate conference and was scheduled to return the next morning. He approached Sophie and asked if he could treat her to a cocktail.

They talked about work, weather and travel. After 20 minutes, Jordan asked if she wanted to have dinner with him, but Sophie declined. In the past, she could communicate with a man from another city for five hours, justifying it by the fact that he had to leave tomorrow, but then she read the Rules and realized that this was a big mistake.

Jordan took Sophie's phone number and said he would call her soon. The next day, he sent her a text message from Kennedy Airport saying that he had a wonderful time the day before and would love to see her again. He asked if by any chance she had plans to be in Seattle, and she replied, “No, it definitely won’t happen anytime soon.” Jordan wrote back: "Well, if the only way I can see you again is to fly to New York, that's what I'll do." He arrived two weeks later, took Sophie to dinner and a horse-drawn carriage ride through Central Park. Jordan asked if he could stay at her apartment, but following the Rules, she replied: “Sorry, this is inconvenient for me at the moment, but I can recommend you a wonderful hotel.”

Two weeks later, Jordan flew back to New York for a conference and took Sophie out to dinner and entertainment program. She allowed him to spend the night with her, but only on the sofa in the living room - no sex. Returning home, Jordan soon asked if Sophie could come to Seattle in the near future, and even promised to pay for her plane ticket. She replied: “Unfortunately, right now I can’t get away from work.” A month later, there was going to be a reunion at the College of New Jersey, where Jordan studied, and he wrote to her: “No problem, I’ll still be around, we can see each other.”

Everything has been going great so far! Between his visits, Jordan bombarded Sophie with texts, emails and video chats. For their third date, he reserved a hotel room and took her to dinner, then to a bar and dancing. They partied until four in the morning and slept together that night. After a tender morning hug and breakfast in bed, Sophie felt like she was truly falling in love with the tall, handsome realtor.

Now that Jordan had met the three-visit requirement, Sophie felt like she could be more proactive. So when he asked again if she could come to Seattle for the weekend, she replied, “We'll see what we can do.” An hour later, she contacted her former college roommate who had moved to Seattle via Facebook, told her she was coming and asked if she wanted to set up a double date with her boyfriend. She talked her boss into giving her a week off for family reasons, then called the airline office to use her accumulated bonus miles. Then Sophie emailed Jordan: “It looks like I might be able to come to Seattle after all. I have a long vacation." Jordan was taken by surprise by the news, but wrote back: “Wow, this is amazing!”

As often happens when a woman begins to commit such actions, even in the right relationship, Sophie went too far - and asked for disappointment. She asked Jordan if he could pick her up from the airport, and he replied that he would be happy to, but he had a meeting with a client at that time; Could she arrange with a friend or take a taxi? And then, instead of showering her with attentions, taking her to restaurants and romantic excursions around the city, Jordan worked late, ordered dinner to her home from a Chinese restaurant, and after sex fell asleep like the dead. When Sophie timidly asked if he could show her around the city, he suggested that the girl go on a tour with a friend because he had to work a lot. And when she asked for a box to put her things in, he gave her an empty cardboard box.

After Sophie's departure, Jordan no longer said anything specific about new meetings. He just sent her a casual text: “I guess I'll see you next time I'm in New York on business.” Offended and confused, the girl decided to throw a New Year's party and sent Jordan an invitation. At first he seemed to agree: “I’ll try, it sounds tempting!”, and then, a week later, he wrote: “Air tickets are so difficult during the holidays, sorry, baby.” The next day, Sophie discovered a photo on his Facebook page with another woman and realized that he did not take their relationship seriously.

She decided to ask Jordan directly in the chat to find out if it was really just flirting since she was considering moving to Seattle if he thought there was a future in their relationship. Here's what he said: “You're a very beautiful and sweet woman, but you live in New York and I'm a guy from Seattle. We are very different people. Honestly, I don’t think we’ll succeed.”

Sophie learned the hard way that even if a man visits you first and does so three times, his intentions are not necessarily serious. Jordan came to New York every time not for Sophie herself, but for fun, on business or for a reunion. Besides, when a man invites you to his place for the weekend, you don’t have to go for a week, even if you have a vacation plus a girlfriend in the same city and bonus airline miles. Like Jordan, he will be taken aback by the sudden and intense intimacy and your interest.

For such long-distance relationships to be correct, This He must find ways to be with you more often yours city.

He should be the one offering you an exclusive relationship, saying “I love you” and planning your future together, no matter the cost.

Current page: 1 (book has 15 pages total) [available reading passage: 9 pages]

Annotation

THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU IF...

You're fed up with meaningless online messaging and one-off dates that don't lead to a serious relationship.

You dated a guy for more than two years, but never received an offer.

You wonder how women who are not nearly as beautiful, smart or sweet as you get married, but you just can’t do it.

WHAT DO THE RULES GIVE YOU?

Over the 20 years of the existence of the “Rules” from Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider, millions of women were able to experience their absolute effectiveness. They received a relationship full of love and respect, which flowed into a happy and strong marriage. “New rules” will help modern women:

Communicate via Facebook, Skype, SMS, etc. and at the same time remain inaccessible and mysterious;

To support the hunter’s instinct in a man when there is so much “easy prey” around him;

Getting married in an era when everyone lives in civil marriages and are in no hurry to take responsibility.

Translation: Eleonora Melnik

Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider

Chapter I Why we wrote this book

Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider

New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls

Chapter I Why we wrote this book

Today, women can do it all—graduate with honors, climb corporate ladders, and even run for the presidency of the United States. But getting a man to ask you to date or to make any commitments is an almost impossible task! Alas, we know why most beautiful, smart and pleasant women do not have their own “half”: they either chase men themselves, or show excessive enthusiasm when they make the first move!

...

So, our Rules are a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or online), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, the point is precisely to increase your worth: men love difficulties and lose interest when the object of this interest - and especially a woman - comes to them too easily.

...

Are you tired of men who bombard you with text messages, “follow” you on Twitter, or write to you on Facebook, but don’t ask you to date?

Have you heard about the Rules, but have little understanding of how to apply their secrets to today's technologies?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, “just sex,” and being alone on Sundays and Valentine’s Day?

Do you wonder how women who are not nearly as beautiful, smart or sweet as you get married, but you just can’t?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

We created this updated version of The Rules to teach women how to win the heart of Mr. Right in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least view the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem a little outdated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared that were unheard of in 1995! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book, but have updated them to suit today's dating world. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules that need to be remembered - “Twenty Rules that are not harmful to repeat.”

...

There is no way he can love your soul if he doesn't love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

So why did the New Rules appear and why did they appear now? Facebook, SMS messaging and other social technologies have virtually eliminated the ability for women to be elusive and mysterious. Each of them is inseparable from her cell phone, and men can reach her in the morning, afternoon and evening. Where can we play hard to get? The question is, how can a woman comply with the Rules in these new circumstances?

We were talking with a new client who had recently graduated from college, and she was complaining about how difficult it was to follow the Rules now that we were all so easily accessible. She said that she had already learned not to call men and not make dates with them. And the Online Dating Rules helped her learn not to interact with a guy by looking at his profile or react to any emoji. But SMS, Facebook, Twitter and Skype confused her. She wasn't sure if the Rules applied to them, or if they did, how exactly? She has so many questions! Is it acceptable to send a guy an SMS first? If you need to wait before responding to his message, then how long, and after what moment does a proper pause turn into ordinary rudeness? Are there new Rules for all these innovations? You know, she said, technology has changed a lot since your previous books came out: now girls stay in text messages and see nothing wrong with “friending” guys and “tweeting” on Twitter all day long. So how will all this turn out for the girl who follows the Rules?

Then another client called with similar questions, then another, and another, and then ours own daughters and their friends began asking us the same questions. Then it dawned on us that we would have to tackle new problems - we realized that we had to write this book! Now everything is different, the pace of life has accelerated - and how can the Rules be applied in such conditions?

We remember how then, in 1995, readers who called themselves feminists scoffed at the proposal not to call men and rarely call them back. And now it’s considered the norm not to call men first!

Although this book is aimed at a new generation, nothing has changed in terms of what women expect from relationships. Each of us wants to have reason to believe that a guy loves you for who you are and will take care of you. The rules still apply!

...

We made the final decision to take on this book when 26-year-old Heather wrote to us about what she considered a life-changing encounter. The day before, she met a very nice guy in an upscale bar. The next day, before five in the evening, he managed to send her three SMS. This made an impression on us. As many as three?! “Yes, I lost my phone,” Heather explained. “And when I found him after work the next day, I found three messages from this guy. First: “Hi, this is Corey, we met yesterday, which I’m very happy about. Answer me when you have the opportunity." Second: “Are you busy tonight?” Third: “Are you free this weekend?” I can't believe he asked me out so soon! I think he really liked me!”

We recommended that Heather reply to him that same evening: “Hi, I'm glad to meet you too. This weekend is a great idea!” She didn't have to explain to him that she had lost her phone. In this case, Corey might have concluded that she had a lot of things to do besides him, and become accustomed to the idea that he would have to catch her and arrange meetings. If you answer your new acquaintance right away, he will decide that this will continue, and the delight of hunting will disappear.

If Heather hadn't lost her phone, she and Cory would have likely been texting each other all day. He might get tired of this, and he would hardly invite her to meet so soon. But the lack of instant access was unusual for him and forced him to act quickly. The guy’s feelings towards Heather were no longer a mystery to her, and she didn’t have to guess how he felt or wonder why the marathon SMS didn’t lead to a date! What the “New Rules” can do for you is akin to periodically “losing” your phone for a couple of hours. This will help you create an atmosphere of mystery and make the guy passionately want to meet you, which is very rare these days.

In addition, we felt compelled to write this book for another reason. Many women who used The Rules to get married 20 years ago want to see their friends, sisters, and nieces in healthy relationships (or at least make sure men don't cause them unnecessary pain). They want other women to experience the same happiness that they found by respecting their boundaries and maintaining self-esteem in relationships with men. Older women who have been divorced and are now trying to get their lives back on track, or those who have never been in a good relationship, often call us complaining of confusion about having to deal with email, SMS, and other new technologies. We would like to help them solve these problems.

In addition, many mothers are nervous (which is understandable!), not knowing how to relate to their daughters’ personal lives, and feel helpless or lost contact (“She never tells me anything!”). We wrote this book for them too, including a special chapter in which we suggest how to unobtrusively help their daughters adhere to the Rules. Our "Rules for Moms" will help encourage young girls to confide in them their secrets and ask for advice, instead of cutting the older generation out of their lives. We hope that this book will help strengthen solidarity among all women, and especially daughters and mothers!

Remember, the Rules are an ageless, timeless recipe for romance. Follow them and you will get a guy who is crazy about you. Break them and you will get a broken heart.

...

No matter how old you are - 18, 28 or 48 - we believe that all the answers to your questions related to dating and courtship can be found in this book.

Don't know how to behave or how to dress on a date? Read Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2 on how to be and look like a “Girl Unlike the Others.” Not sure when and how you should respond to your guy via SMS? See Rule #6 for our proven and effective “response schedule.” Wondering if you should pay the dinner bill in half, or how long to Skype, or what to write to your guy on his “wall”? Read the chapters on not buying his love (Rule No. 19), on long-distance relationships (Rule No. 15), and on Facebook (Rule No. 10). We have already written about all this! In addition, we have included special comments from our daughters, who grew up with the Rules and can help you apply them to the characteristics of the younger generation and latest technologies. Sometimes 20-year-olds understand better than their elders what is happening to their peers. We felt it was important for our daughters to bring their unique perspective to the book about the dating challenges facing their age group.

If you want to get the most out of this book, don't just skim it once—read it and reread it over and over again. Study it like a textbook. You may even find it necessary to underline individual sentences that will help you memorize each Rule. Perhaps you will decide to meet regularly with other right-thinking friends to collectively discuss this book and consider your personal problems and our answers: after all, together we are strong! Maybe you'll find it worthwhile to tear out a couple of the most useful pages and put them in your bag so that you can quickly skim through them in the "ladies' room" during dates.

So, without delaying matters long box, we present to you “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls!

Chapter II Correct daughters about the benefits of the Rules

...

Guys should always go after girls first - it works.

Our generation, one might say, grew up on SMS, Facebook, Skype, Gchat, Twitter and a whole bunch of other social networks. We know that all this instant communication has made the world of dating and courtship even more complex and confusing. However, we have seen girls make serious mistakes, writing all over a guy's Facebook wall, bombarding him with tweets, texting him 24/7, and have even personally witnessed several severe cases of clinginess that are guaranteed to not end well.

The sooner you start studying and following the Rules, the better. We have already seen a lot of broken hearts in our time and we wouldn’t want one of them to be yours!

Chapter III “Hug your daughter” and other Rules for mothers

If you're reading this chapter, you're probably wondering how to help your daughter with her love life—no matter what age she is. You are a significant part of this book because you can influence your daughter in a way that no one else can! During consultations, we often ask our clients: “What does your mother think about this relationship?” Because we value the opinions and views of mothers. Perhaps you tried to help your daughter by giving her a copy of The Rules. Maybe you tried to teach her by example by behaving correctly in your own relationships with men. Mothers often write to us or schedule consultations for their daughters. Many people are upset when their daughter breaks the Rules or behaves provocatively, or how her friend treats her, and sometimes they are bothered by her lack of a boyfriend. But, as in all other situations, mothers often have to wait until their daughters are ready to listen to them. We tell these women the same thing as we tell all our other clients: for the Rules to help, the girls must want to use them, and in addition, trust their mothers to guide them on the right path.

The first and most important thing you can do to help your daughter is to take care of her. We spoke with hundreds of young women and found that those who became promiscuous or indulged in sexual excesses did so because they did not receive enough attention, love, or approval while growing up.

As part of our private counseling program, we conducted sessions on childhood and personal history and were shocked to discover how many of our clients with love problems grew up in families with overly demanding or distant mothers! Such mothers rarely hug their daughters, are stingy with kind words or praise, or are simply constantly busy and spend little time at home. These clients of ours missed bedtime stories, fussing with homemade cookies, or pats on the back as children. Some mothers resented the fact that they had to work full-time while raising their daughters, and they viewed their children as a burden or a nuisance. Others were going through a difficult period in their personal lives, be it divorce, serious illness or other problems, and were not capable of more. However, we believe that many of our clients would grow up to be much happier people if their mothers showered them with praise and love.

...

Gillian, 33, who recently discovered The Rules, told us her mother was so emotionally uninterested in her that she never felt wanted or attractive. During college and later, between her 20s and 30s, she was flattered by the slightest advances from unavailable men, be it a married boss or guys who never asked her out. She showed virtually no interest in men who really liked her, and was obsessed with those who were not to her taste. We spent hours helping her overcome the consequences of her mother's indifference and teaching her our motto - “love only those who love you.” We suggested she join a support group so she could connect with other good girls who cared about her situation and put an end to the negative patterns in her personal life. We emailed her links to stores beautiful clothes and gave advice on how to behave on dates. Finally, Gillian, who had decided a few years earlier not to deal with men, signed up for a dating site and began going to clubs and parties. Now she is in a serious relationship with the man who spoke to her first and starts every day with an SMS sent to her: “Good morning, beautiful!”

If you are a mother who has been too busy to pay attention to her daughter (for whatever reason), and you feel that she has lost her way or is about to lose her way, your method is love, love, love! All you need is love! If she lives at home, start hugging her today and do it daily from now on. It's never too late to show your affection! Pat her on the back, comb her hair, kiss her on the cheek - daughters need to be clucked at.

...

Hug your daughter - this is a guarantee that the girl will not look for love in the wrong places.

She will certainly receive her share of affection either from you or from some stranger. So let it be you! Yes, physical contact is really that important. We understand that you're busy, juggling between work and cleaning, paying bills and checking email on your cell phone. But it only takes one minute to send an SMS to your daughter in the middle of the day. Have lunch together, go to the movies to see a female comedy, or go on a shopping excursion! Everyone is busy, everyone has a list of urgent tasks, no one has a free minute, but if you don’t make time for your daughter now, then she will have plenty of time to get into trouble. It's never too late to become a good mom!

But what to do when she is not around? If she's attending college in another city, ask her to pick a weekend or weekday when she's not too busy with work and visit her. Invite her girlfriends to dinner to get to know them better - this will help you understand her better. If she works, choose a shared day off where you can have a “girls day” just for the two of you. Don't beg or burden her when she can't find time: just the certainty that you want this will help her feel that you care about her.

If you're a single mother, it can feel like your love alone isn't enough. Don't worry about it! A child can be happy even with one loving parent. Our client had a pathologically short-tempered father who never told her kind words, but her mother showered her with compliments and kisses. Now she is married to a man who never tires of telling her how beautiful she is! Don't think that your daughter is in a no-win situation because you are her only loving parent. Everything depends on you.

By the way, if you want your daughter to maintain her self-esteem in relationships with men, practice what you preach! Besides following the Rules, this means not introducing her to every Tom, Dick or Harry you meet. Wait until you are in a serious, committed, exclusive relationship before introducing your daughter to any man. Make the first acquaintance brief, and gradually lengthen subsequent ones.

Remember that young women can be vulnerable and emotionally dependent. They should be given attention so that they do not feel rejected or abandoned to their fate. Putting your boyfriend first at the expense of your daughter is a terrible mistake. This balance problem is not easy to solve, but you must find a way to make your child feel loved.

At the same time, exercise restraint. If your daughter is already 25 or 30 years old and you don't like the way she dresses or the kind of men she dates, be careful not to criticize her too actively. Then she will be much more likely to come to you when she needs help. Deciding that you are judging her or being overprotective, she will rebel or become secretive. Once your daughter reaches a certain age, your control options are greatly limited, so be careful.

We all know mothers who are overly involved in their children's lives. They live their daughters' lives instead of them, wanting them to be beauty pageant queens or the most popular girl in school. And sometimes they “friend” friends of both sexes or their daughters’ boyfriends on Facebook, although the girls have repeatedly asked them not to do this. Such examples of excessive guardianship, intrusiveness and excessive attention are also unhealthy phenomena. Being an “agent” mom or being a friend mom is better than being an indifferent mom, but these options can also have unwanted returns. A teenage girl needs you to love her, not coach her to get top grades in school, or to put on long false eyelashes, or to be the captain of the cheerleading team. Is this what she herself wants? She must make her own decisions and make her own mistakes. The best thing you can do is take care of her when she needs you: give advice, console her, rejoice with her. But this is her life. If she grows up too quickly, she will have a hole in her soul that will have to be filled with failed relationships.

Our Rules from this chapter apply exactly the same to both mothers and fathers. To be honest, every father dreams of his daughter being the right girl! He wants her to not lose self-respect in her personal life, not chase boys and not follow animal instincts. What father would want his daughter to hang around a guy’s neck 24 hours a day or sleep with just anyone! We had college student clients who told us that their fathers bought them “The Rules” or paid for consultations with us. We know that dads care who and how their daughters date, and so this chapter is addressed to them as well. We spoke with many fathers and truly felt that they could help us create the Rules!

...

One dad instructed his twenty-year-old daughter this way: “Don’t call guys yourself, don’t chase them. And since he’s coming to pick you up at our house, I need to meet him! The guy has to look me in the eyes, and if he doesn’t, then he has something to hide.”

Of course, not all fathers are so active and eloquent, and not all girls want them to be like that! However, they could help their daughters stick to the Rules by giving them this book and treating the women in their lives with love and respect. We know happy husbands who told their daughters: “Just follow Mommy’s example. I dated many women, but she forced me to marry her!”

Description of the work “New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls" (Ellen Fein, Sherry Schneider)

THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU IF...

You're fed up with meaningless online messaging and one-off dates that don't lead to a serious relationship.

You dated a guy for more than two years, but never received an offer.

You wonder how women who are not nearly as beautiful, smart or sweet as you get married, but you just can’t do it.

WHAT DO THE RULES GIVE YOU?

Communicate via Facebook, Skype, SMS, etc. and at the same time remain inaccessible and mysterious;

To support the hunter’s instinct in a man when there is so much “easy prey” around him;

Getting married in an era when everyone lives in civil marriages and is in no hurry to take responsibility.

Download in FB2, EPUB, PDF formats.

Also read New rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls online.

We are not licensed psychologists, psychiatrists or social workers, and Rules We are not intended as a replacement for psychological consultations. This is simply a philosophy of personal life, based on our own experience and the experience of thousands of women who turned to us for advice and help.

PSYCHOLOGICAL BESTSELLERS

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Act like a woman, think like a man. Why men love but don’t marry, and other secrets of the stronger sex

Only a man can decipher the behavior of other men and tell him how to act correctly in different situations. Millions of women around the world have trusted Steve Harvey in this matter. Funny and honest, this book reveals what men really think about relationships with women.

Rules for a smart wife. You're either right or married

Many women manage to catch a man, but how many of them are happily married? In this book you will find 40 rules necessary to maintain harmony and understanding in marriage. You will get answers to all your questions, learn how to successfully overcome any conflicts, find a compromise in any dispute and simply be a happy couple.

You don't know anything about men

Steve Harvey continues to reveal men's secrets. What to expect from a man when he is 20, 30, 40, 50 years old and older? What to do in a situation when you have been together for a long time, but he still won’t propose? How to achieve harmony in bed, in the kitchen and in family budget? The book gives honest answers to these and many other important questions.

Chapter I
Why we wrote this book

So, our Rules- this is a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or online), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

Yes, the point is precisely to increase your worth: men love difficulties and lose interest when the object of this interest - and especially a woman - comes to them too easily.

Are you tired of men who bombard you with text messages, “follow” you on Twitter, or write to you on Facebook, but don’t ask you to date?

Have you heard about the Rules, but have little understanding of how to apply their secrets to today's technologies?

Are you fed up with casual hookups, “just sex,” and being alone on Sundays and Valentine’s Day?

Do you wonder how women who are not nearly as beautiful, smart or sweet as you get married, but you just can’t?

Do you suspect that you are doing something wrong, but have no idea what exactly is wrong?

We created this updated version of The Rules to teach women how to win the heart of Mr. Right in the new world of dating and love. But the fact is that the old Rules are still in play! We urge you to read or at least view the first edition in addition to this one - some of it may seem a little outdated to you, but the spirit remains the same. Of course, in 2014, nuances appeared that were unheard of in 1995! We have included in the text of this book a number of Rules that appeared in our previous book, but have updated them to suit today's dating world. In addition, we have compiled a small guide to the most important Rules that need to be remembered - “Twenty Rules that are not harmful to repeat.”

There is no way he can love your soul if he doesn't love your appearance, so your attempts to initiate contact are a waste of time.

Then another client called with similar questions, then another, and another, and then our own daughters and their friends began asking us the same questions. Then it dawned on us that we would have to tackle new problems - we realized that we had to write this book! Now everything is different, the pace of life has accelerated - and how can the Rules be applied in such conditions?

We remember how then, in 1995, readers who called themselves feminists scoffed at the proposal not to call men and rarely call them back. And now it’s considered the norm not to call men first!

We made the final decision to take on this book when 26-year-old Heather wrote to us about what she considered a life-changing encounter. The day before, she met a very nice guy in an upscale bar. The next day, before five in the evening, he managed to send her three SMS. This made an impression on us. As many as three?! “Yes, I lost my phone,” Heather explained. “And when I found him after work the next day, I found three messages from this guy. First: “Hi, this is Corey, we met yesterday, which I’m very happy about. Answer me when you have the opportunity." Second: “Are you busy tonight?” Third: “Are you free this weekend?” I can't believe he asked me out so soon! I think he really liked me!”

We recommended that Heather reply to him that same evening: “Hi, I'm glad to meet you too. This weekend is a great idea!” She shouldn't I had to explain to him that I had lost my phone. In this case, Corey might have concluded that she had a lot of things to do besides him, and become accustomed to the idea that he would have to catch her and arrange meetings. If you answer your new acquaintance right away, he will decide that this will continue, and the delight of hunting will disappear.

Remember, the Rules are an ageless, timeless recipe for romance. Follow them and you will get a guy who is crazy about you. Break them and you will get a broken heart.

No matter how old you are - 18, 28 or 48 - we believe that all the answers to your questions related to dating and courtship can be found in this book.

Don't know how to behave or how to dress on a date? Read Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2 on how to be and look like a “Girl Unlike the Others.” Not sure when and how you should respond to your guy via SMS? See Rule #6 for our proven and effective “response schedule.” Wondering if you should pay the dinner bill in half, or how long to Skype, or what to write to your guy on his “wall”? Read the chapters on not buying his love (Rule No. 19), on long-distance relationships (Rule No. 15), and on Facebook (Rule No. 10). We have already written about all this! We've also included special comments from our daughters, who grew up with the Rules and can help you apply them to younger generations and newer technologies. Sometimes 20-year-olds understand better than their elders what is happening to their peers. We felt it was important for our daughters to bring their unique perspective to the book about the dating challenges facing their age group.

So, without delaying matters, we present to you “New Rules. Secrets of successful relationships for modern girls!